Those birds above I've wondered,
Are they spirits and tiny souls?
Looking down on us and keeping us safe,
At our highs and at our lows.

Are they our loved ones passed away?
And flying free above?
This to people I do not say.
But I often wish I could.

I hope those birds are what I think,
Because you seldom see one alone.
You will always have a very strong link.
Flying high and flying far from home.

So I hope those, my friends above,
Will help me out down here.
I hope they help me find some love,
I hope that time is near.

I feel like a blurry photo; black & white
Unclear, yet beautiful
On a quiet street.
Shiny with rain    
Leaves scattered allover
reflection of streetlamps stinging my eyes
light sprayed though my vision
filtered by tears
magnifying the lights.
leaves blow, headlights string,
taking all hope along...
It's almost comforting how alone I feel.

Sometimes I sit blankly staring for hours.
Sometimes I sit and doodle for ages.
Sometimes I sit and let my day dreams take me.
Always I sit.

A 105 pound blob of potential energy.
Anxious to move yet not a reason to.
Minutes turn to hours which turn to days...
I forgot to eat again..

Watching your self age is the real 'reality TV show'.
I've cut off my connections egger to be my own.
But now I'm paranoid and can not get close.
I watch myself wither away in the smoke.

I stumble with words and never look them in the eyes.
I'm quiet and awkward and timed and shy.
I used to have confidence in the future.
But now, only questions and fears.

A perpetual debt hangs over my ears

From social-butterfly
To anti-social,
That’s what happens
When you get cut off

It seems I have forgotten how to make friends.
Or perhaps I'm too afraid to.
Once the life of the party.
Now the one never there.

This journey to be my own
Will be long and slow
Unless I get up and get on the go
Yet my fears are like shackles
And my debts are glue
They keep me sitting

Always I sit

set me free
ill show you the real me
the unconditional me
the  me you seldom see
i just want to be me
the me i hate
the me i love
the me that longs to be
you could love me
as can i
i just want to be free
free to be me