A sinful habit is the result of negative actions in repetition.... negative actions are the result of trying to gain control because of negative emotions… negative emotions are the result of  negative thoughts and negative thoughts are the result of not feeling accepted and not feeling accepted is a result of having more faith in what other humans think of you instead of what God thinks of you.  Sin starts with a thought and it starts with acceptance and we all need acceptance. When we reject the acceptance of God we chose to be accepted by the world. The world’s acceptance is money, power and beauty and guess what it never lasts …High debt…greediness, divorce rates, anxiety, narcissism, pride, jealousy, eating disorders, depression…infidelity…drug abuse..alcoholism..violence …suicides …****** perversions…the quest for materials…..even religion being used for personal happiness….are all the results of choosing to be accepted by the world whose ruler is satan. It’s never ending and we always need more!  In this model we invite the invitation for negative thoughts , which produce negative emotions that create fear and confusion.. …. ….Hence these sinful actions become our habits and then our habits become our identities……. When enough peoples immoral actions become their identities it then becomes apart of our culture which then  becomes the law…which makes sin one of our rights making sin the norm………. Our nation’s current atrocities are reflections of our aggregate sins and compromises manifested as normal. The devil uses these deceptions to rob your life and always lets you think the blame is on others. My brothers and sisters make no mistake no one can avoid sin. We all sin and were condemned to death and that is why Christ died to forgive you of what we could not avoid. But make no mistake sin starts in the heart and if left unchecked leads to action. Sinful action is worse than sin that stays in the heart because sin in action hurts others. Don’t be over whelmed by this just pay attention to your actions and you may find sin being justified and trust me sin  always leaves a paper trail which means we can investigate them through God’s Words and strive to repent of our inevitable sins before they hit reality. Hence we can be forgiven without our sins further hurting others within our world…if enough people change the world changes…It’s easy to point fingers but it’s not easy to change but it all starts with Acceptance…where do you get acceptance? You might be rejected by the world but Jesus Accepts you…… just follow the paper trail……

A picture says a 1000 words but poems speak where senses fail. I can’t remember or recall my awaked dreams scribbled with scattered penmanship.

Before ink dries I cry in the passionate silence of inner groaning till I exploded into the unknown. I don’t know my poems but they new me….
1 year later on the date I read them for the first time and saw the faces of yesterday’s fear in full ignorance. ….

OO poem you waited in my timid soul so to face my yesterday right now.
I wish to kiss you but you’ve passed on….leaving a poetic obituary of the human journey,, where present words fail…. Holy Spirit  guided me from death into life……..”seek and you will find” ……..

How many ways can humans prove each other wrong? Let me skim the Library of “i know and i know” i can blow you kisses or punch your face, call you a loser or get you drunk with lips that pour sweet nothings. Sugary or bitter, with noise or dead silence, “your wrong” is the song to be sung. In a castle of pride locked and tortured by criticism, even a friend can turn foe in the realm of ‘i know, i know” But who can ever let go of the self-sacrificial blade that bloodies the soul into the sweetness of unseen pride? OOO our language is tainted with poisoned lips that drip gross mentalities of perfection on earth, something’s killing me in this world of ”i know” So here i go, eating bread crumbs that lead me back to where my heart once was and in that darkness so dank with tears, i found what i really KNOW…..NOTHINGGGGGGGG

A shooting star hopeful burns my soul as quick as it’s majestic motion cracks my wish bone. A promise by flesh is smoke, A promise by darkness is vanity but a promise by light is everlasting. Patience pays dividends in the galaxy of my heart.. My flesh stumbles to the hopeful soul that is held tight from the black hole that stands in fearful awe of Yahweh. Clash from a comet oo yes I’ve drank my share till smoked chest burned to the echoes of a different dimension. My flesh said I can’t go on.. and the world said I was hopelessly delusional but my soul cries Hallelujah. Meteor showers of Love came from the mercy of my mistakes speaking fire that weights the scales of a mans heart…”I make all things new” .…When He speaks its forever…..Jesus is Faithful.

My heart is inside out and yours is outside in…….. Push……..You wouldn’t come in and I wouldn’t come out….Push….. My mind and your body….Push…..My Ideas fly me far from your touch while your touch sails you out of my mind…..push………You shape the world with your eyes but I’m blind….my lips are the air of the unseen yet your breathless…..push……Your North tries to conquer my winter and my south tries to claim your Summer…push…opposites attract only if you let them…. Shaking I set my North to your southern sun….now were outside in from the inside out…. Eyes and ideas are joined to witness our minds meeting our bodies…I’m scared...But I see your smile……..I won’t push……..thank You Jesus for teaching me to Love deeper

Lost in the double clicks of my minds inbox I stand numb at the breach. The new years banner of past and present dripped a surrender deep into the gray matter of my consciousness. Beguiled frozen and depleted I lay captured in overwhelming emotions divided forever in the blocks of my heart's spread sheet. Sure my Birthday marks my age but the new year marks the world's. In this moment more than ever do I realize that my life is falling quicker than the confetti….I am dying! I have spent my whole life building this empire and on this day I find my self alone with the truth. I can’t stand and turn to delusion anymore! The resolutions of-Money-Health-Finances-Etc- only deceived to rescue me to  false masks of success that are engraved with deluded promises of happiness. That’s how our world speaks through its endless peer pressure. How these hopeless actions painted false lines of empty wisdom. I’m done  working for this body..... it's now time to peer into the deep waters of the heart…… With phone in hand I fired these thoughts through the tip of my trembling left index.…..Instead of this years resolution to the flesh, I make the call to my soul……. ring…ring…ring..ring..…...and finally I pick up……………….Now………………………Jesus calling

You were a glutinous 24 feasting on my anxiety and confusion. Where Art thou?! Where art thou!? I yelled begging for the pebble to hit my bed side. My sweat pondered so quiet due to the wheels from the warden. A drip sparked the alarm…. the I-V signals to move my hopes to the Montague. Fresh gown and a half bath slightly disheveled and lightly shaking…. a white cape..... a deep breath and a few beats marked his prestige. It felt so right until night..... when his words cycled out with the shift. How could I betray my Love for a moment’s hope of the Montague!! I knew better but only when I was better but now worse and how quickly my mind reversed. OOO Romeo OOO Romeo where art thou my Romeo! Behind your pride and obstructed by your fear… what I-V were you dripping? Didn’t even remember to grasp the brown spine? AHH the top drawer... Slow to anger and don’t fret.... be patient and wait cooled me off from luke warm to ember …Welcome Montague, I now understand where my emotion meets your position and by your smirk I can see you knew I was never a Capulet to begin with…..Trust Romeo.......Jesus

There was a rich man trapped in a dangerous pit along a less traveled path in the desert... another traveler heard the screams but did not move to help because it could possibly cause him harm… as he walked away he suddenly recognized the mans voice and remembered his bountiful wealth…in an instance he ran to the pit and extended his hand at much risk to his health—
He raised the rich man on his shoulders rejoicing as he carried him back to his land. Only a minute into their journey they stepped over a half eaten carcass contorted in the sand. What a disgraceful way to die they both agreed….. Changing the subject the rich man vowed to make a statue of his courageous rescuers face and in reply the traveler exploded “No need I’m just happy your safe!” But deep in the invisible dark silence of his soul he brooded violently about how much reward and recognition he could possibly receive…

The day before the rich man was rescued there was an elderly man that was blind and mute and for hours he frantically tried to track the location of desperate screams to their roots. He clapped his hands and stomped his feet risking his very life by chartering blind in unmapped terrain....Even in his greatest effort he missed the pit by 50 yards. The rich man in the pit heard his noisy attempts and all along cursed his name for not helping but still that didn't stop the blind and mute man from trying. Within his persistent attempts he critically gashed open his leg against a jagged stone and began bleeding out. Alone the old man cried himself to death as his blood soaked in the grains of the dessert. He could still hear the rebukes of the man in the pit cursing his soul as the coyotes fought over his wounded flesh....with his last bit of life the old man wished in his heart that the man in the pit would be safe..............................

A Rich man laid trapped in an evil desert obis.
Meanwhile a bounty hunter searched for a disabled elder a miss.
He heard the screams desperate deep and blurted.
He ignored his senses, weighting risk like none had heard it.

His body walked on but his nose smelt loot.
He risked his life and clawed him out honey to scoop.
Boosted on shoulders the triumph tasted lick on sweet!
A statue I will make in your honor for your courageous feet!

“No need I’m just happy your safe no need for honor!”
But deep in the invisible dark silence he brood for his daughter.
Then a stench of half eaten carcass ransomed the moment gross and misplaced.
Staring in disgust they agreed “What a pitiful disgrace!

The day before walked the elder man whom was blind and mute.
He heard a cry from the soil and searched in earnest for the root
He clapped his hands and stomped his feet
Risking his very life in blind eyes deceit

Grabbing at the wind, tired broken in vain.
The rich man heard his noisy attempts and cursed his name.
That didn't stop the blind and mute man from trying.
Instead a jagged stone gashed open his leg leaving him bleeding and dying.

The grains of the dessert soaked the earth and cried for his rest.
As the coyotes fought over his wounded flesh....
The rich man claimed “my life I swear will be in your place!!”
With his last bit of life the old man wished the man in the pit would be safe................................

Intuition, facts and ambiguity never not but always accepted at every lottery ball that falls in their care. A balance of intelligence and humility is their blood draw and it’s been tested ….You’ve seen emotion at its pinnacle and worn red to the bull fight but your mouth would never tell it because your eyes speak vitals. That was the assurance my mind needed and you were always right on the button…. the clock couldn’t tick to the schedule and the daily planner yearns for the leap year. That’s what I saw but my gowns perspective is shaded from any dream of totality. Thank you for being registered it’s time for me to check out…thankful for the excellence.

Sweat dripping from my puke, trapped and chained by an IV..my inner stereo screamed from 102.9 and on top of my ride I felt totaled. Darkness and alone with empathy blind to my dungeon. Why do you treat me like this? You don’t even know me! You don’t really care! You only care about yourself! Give me a second of your time! Don’t you see my heart is bleeding?! I was justified and as usual my finger went to point but at that point I realized I’ve always been the MARK. HAHA did it take disease to realize the disease. You see from the outside and don’t we many look so pretty? Hip Hip Hooray they say to my accomplishment but inner drive selfish like the parasite. I could have lived my whole life white picket ignorant, world successful and none the wiser. But I can’t trade it for nothing I had to die through a sickness to see the re-mastering of my soul by His remedy… Blood........ Light on “Would you go again?” Are you kidding! I’d go again if it kills me!.... No half and half I’m all in… I understand and want to Love like my own marrow. I’m coming back to you kids..I love you and no circumstance matters for this man. My unseen finally got engaged to the fire of my actions and……………. I DO

The clock struck mid-night London on the cheeks of her rosy smile. Glancing at Big Ben her high heels shined posh over the moon. Bold, intelligent and independent she stood at the corner of Westminster and Margret upon a shadow that faded her invisible to the alley of the ******* door. She wanted a walk on the wild….. so with crimson lips the brazen beauty blew a kiss that knocked deaths door three times firm.
Beauty: Hello sweetheart. Could you be a doll and crack the bolt. She playfully inquired.

Death’s Door: “****** off!” I’m tired and about to hit the rack!

Beauty: "Eee you cheeky monkey" Do not play coy! For you may be a Fit Bloke for most but I’m
Karen Wankerstien the sexiest women in England! Crack the bolt I say!!!

Death’s Door: Who?

Beauty: Don’t be a ******! I’m Karen Wankerstien, business women of the year and the toast of this year’s Queen Charlotte Ball! Crack the bolt I say!!

Death’s Door: Who?

Beauty: You Nitwit. You know me well. It’s me Karen!

Death’s Door: OOO  Hi Karen!!! You know I don’t recognize any of those fancy titles! For once you pass through these doors they all vanish. It’s best you live your life for the unseen beauty that never fades! “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” (proverbs 31).

Then crack goes the deadbolt!  Fluttering her spine with the momentary thrill that danced upon the sun-rise of her temporal fairy-tale identity.

Transformation, transformation, Transformation,
Mantra, root, fins, Mantra, root, fins, Mantra, root, fins
repetition,   grounded, unlimited,
concentration, stability, malleability,
focus,  still,  movement
Transformation, transformation, transformation.....

It the competition bro, It’s the competition bro.
Its them against us, it us against them.
Reactions rooted in our brain stem, **** them means win.
We compete against our own human skin,
our own akin, Luke Anakin, I’m your father.
Competition have you Kane and Able, killing your own brother.
Competition is division, submission, inferiority, hierarchy, inequality, habituated, into a sophisticated jungle of pleasure and identity.  
Can’t realize equality within a system grounded in competitive mentalities,
the Olympics, our games, who you rooting for? Lebron James, it’s all the same.
You can stand against hate, you can hate injustice, throw you money and morals, type a tweet and rest on your laurels,
but till competition dies,  it matters not what's spoken oral.
It’s all a power struggle, its us against them, and somehow the ideal is everybody wins?
The hierarchy continues and you are a part of what's condemned. Lets not continue to pretend that its all racial,
competition accommodates all ends.    
This dynamic wont change, don’t hold your breathe, number one death is cardiac arrest.
Fatality by food, that’s fear and survival, too much is never enough….don’t be fooled or get political correct tough, competition is cannibal, makes us remain animals,
breeds one to see threat, to defeat and make victory one’s meat, to compete and civilly eat another person's heart beat.

Our natures are naturally selfish and what we desire is oft times not what Divinity desires. Deep within we know that this disparity is real and throughout time we have tried to justify what we intrinsically know is wrong. If this statement was untrue Philosophy would cease to exist, it would have no utility. Our own happiness would be an unquestioned Truth. Digressing from that matter it is realized that our questions are often confounded from true Divinity because it's Truth can not be molded into what we individually desire. Hence we turn ourselves into philosophers that are repulsed by philosophy. It is importantly noted that people also confound others because they distort Truth of Divinity by selfishly forcing their religious beliefs through sinful actions which are only  fears  disguised as righteousness. Life is good and bad and so are  the actions that war within our chest but a sin is a sin and no good action justifies even the smallest of sins. Our sinful natures only wants to feel good but alas we can't escape the burden of the bad... But in this darkness a light shines... Jesus takes this burden and washes our sins. You may of heard of Him and most likely you've  had someone foolishly distort His name  in selfishness (like I've been guilty of) but please leave that be. This truth I proclaim is not demanded of you but it is only an  invitation to a relationship of freedom which my words or  sinful nature cannot offer...."Knock and the door will open, seek and you will find"

NEED TO LEAVE A PIECE OF YOUR PAST BEHIND AND IT'S HARD? I WROTE THIS FOR YOU.... I CALL THIS PIECE 'TIME CRISIS"
Pocket full of clocks ringing music big hand to little on a slow motion free fall to the right. They know the time but still this one cuckoo clock stays frozen. My heart moves with the present ….. but cuckoo why don't you get going! Eye's shut then in a moment eye's open my two hands strangle hold chocking the minute and the second. Indeed it was fear swollen holding them back so subtle. Release and pop goes the birdie and it's singing your not who used too be ….I'm singing I'm not who I used to be sorry to the past I still love you and you can move where you wish but I got to get going…That's not who I am anymore……Time to tick with Time's best buddy ................................……………………….Eternity…………………….Loving­ Jesus

To all Women: You are beautiful in places where eyes cannot swim, in the ocean of unseen eternity, no more or no less… without face, body or dress, you’re a Cinderella dancing in the image of God. “Looks and beauty are fleeting”

The average person sleeps 1/3 of their life!!! So by the time you hit the age of 30 you would have already been asleep for a DECADE! That would make a 30 year old only 20 years young in awake years! Haven’t you realized , as we get older that the time starts flying more and more?!! Here is a list of averages that shows where the majority of people spend their time .

1. Eating--- 32,098 hours translates to 3.5 years of our lives spent going “yummy yummy yummy”
2. Driving---The average person spends 37,935 hours behind the wheel. That’s 4 years! Depending on the commute and of course city driving good luck.
3. TV---The average American watches 2.8 hours (quite conservative I’d say) of Television each day equaling over 85,000 hours which equals 9 years of a person’s life!! ( not to mention video games)
4. Working---from age 20-65 a person with 2 weeks vacation per year will average 90,360 hours----10years of the 9-5!
5. The internet----28,300 hours surfing the net (that number will rise)----equaling 3.2 years of life! That’s a lot of Facebook updating and youtube videos!
6. On average a women takes 40 minutes to get ready to go to work/going out---30,000 hours adds to 3 years of life. LOL get in the car already!

Did you know it has been widely studied that it takes approximately 10,000 hours to be an expert in something? Imagine if we didn’t have to sleep 1/3 of our lives. Over the course of a 75 year life we would have roughly 219,000 extra hours at our disposal! Enough to be an expert in 22 different fields!! Well not sleeping is obviously ridiculous because we know everyone needs his or her beauty rest and eating of course is a must. But what about the rest of our time? TV is cool don’t get me wrong but to give a decade of my life to watching “CSI and dancing with the stars!” I mean I’m already giving up 1/3 of my life to sleep. How about work? Do you love your job? Does it just pay the bills or maintain your level of luxury? Do you really want to spend another 10 years just paying bills or acquiring materials in between sleep? How much time do we spend angry, jealous, getting drunk, or gossiping? Really here is the big question, how much time do we spend caring about what others think of us? Women I hate that our culture makes you feel that you have to look like a god. You are beautiful just how God made you and your heart is what a man should spend time on. Life is short. What are your dreams and gifts? How can you use them to bless the world? Where do you spend your time and how can you spend it wiser? All glory an honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He died for you to give you time to know Him for an eternity. Jesus teach me to spend my life and time wisely so I may Love as You have Loved me.

So if lust and adultery is same why can't I act out my lusts? God says there is no difference between lust and adultery."I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Sweet so since I'm already in trouble can I have *** now? Well hold on first it should be duly noted that temptation is not a sin. People often mistake lust for being physically attracted to someone. Even more importantly it should be understood that it is impossible to avoid sin. We will all sin in action which means hurting others is inevitable to our human nature (which is definitely not good and hurts God) but it happens. Non deserving and all that is exactly why Jesus died on the cross so we can actively repent from the sins we can't avoid (external and internal). If we could somehow avoid all sin the death of Jesus would not be needed. Really we would not need God at all because we'd be like God. But since we sin daily it's important that we are speaking with God everyday . That is what makes any relationship tight. And that is exactly what He wants. He is preparing you for His kingdom! That's why we have His Spirit within us so we can speak to Him direct at any time. Sin in action becomes scarey when God gives you knowledge over a sin and you decide to reject your relationship with him for a sinful action that you know will hurt someone else (happens with *** all the time). "As a dog returns to its *****, so fools repeat their folly" (provers 26:11).But why do we return to ***** ( I know I have in the past)? Most of the time it’s because we fear rejection of people more than God. The world is very tricky and can eat you alive. We must have acceptance by God alone and a relationship with Jesus is the way..... no book,poem, thing,****** act,money, or person can give you that acceptance. He died for you…He wants you!!! May Jesus bless and protect your heart.

The homeless are blind to My unseen blessings for it is not the lack of dollars and cents. Their heart has gone bankrupt…defaulted on Hope……But I the Lord exalt the poor and meek for they are humbled and pure to be filled. But why aren’t the rich or comfortable exalted?
This is because their titles, comforts, degrees, accolades, possessions, beauty, and jobs become their identity. You say God is good but your faith is a phantom! Woe to you and your worldly masks that trick you into a faith dependant on your self, proclaimed in My name. I can’t fill you because your full of the world!” They are the hands of hope, empty and ready to be filled …..Distribute your wealth but I say distribute my Spirit for then they will see My light and I will anoint them in blood and from these ashes they will become Kings that will come to your rescue when the tribulation burns your masks to dust.

I don’t need reality because i can hold eternity in my TOY CAR Forever….i don’t listen to wrinkles and aged bones… why should i? i drive from death in my toy car forever…..every day I make it look better…better….and better…….my toy car forever…..i could save the world!…with my toy car forever...it needs my time and im almost there….if I just keep working..working..working…it will be ready….i’ll give it all my life in exchange for the fountain of youth….a delusion echoed from a little boy in a picture frame…. ….a frame resting in a casket……..he was old and dead….buried in the rusting fender of his toy car forever…………..toy car forever… toy car forever………………………..

My love ill meet you  at your emotional two left feet and  i won’t ask you to dance …

i’ll just sit on your eyelashes till you ask me to slow dance with your memories…. till eternity or  glass slipper.……............------women-------

Love of my Love… my life… my very breathe.. Please show me where to meet you…at the place where i claimed to love You…where i said nothing was above You…a place beyond fairytales……..-----God-----  

i struggle, i struggle between prayers and cuddles im troubled how much more i long for one over the other………………..Father Guide me to Your acceptance

Thief can steal, People work hard, gluttons eat the fruit of idleness, others diet, murders demolish temporary temples, others save a heart beat. the televisions disperses fear, a friend comforts, the greedy a mass riches, people give to what pulls heart strings, a culture loves euphoric pleasure in the horizon of dreams.  Yet all this is one in the same if it is for the world and the soil of it's earth and it's food that leaves you hungry. The  civilized war that sets brother against sister-husband against wife. Winner or loser. The haves and the have nots. It's all the same vanity!!! For where winners and losers dwell, so does pride and jealousy.  Another battle, producing fear that traps, mind, body and soul. Time is short..The victory is narrow-the victory is opposite emotion--- death and defeat, sacrifice and  service to one another, giving away worldly victory for eternal glory. The stone has moved not for one but for all through the One who saved us............Die and live.....................

Life will offer you a fork in the river that rages the veins of your soul. One path new the other old and familiar. Our habitual rapids have weathered emotional scars that cover thick skin. For how long will you travel this pain before you fork towards the congruent path? Your potential is waiting. It is your choice alone. Still many never leave the rapids of their youth. If you so choose Yesterday becomes Today, what was left is now right, up is down and who am I is a stranger. At first you want to change back and many do but every paddle will wish you to stay. Both riverbeds argue over the spirit. Opposites attract for this reason and if one stays till the swell settles the downstream becomes upstream within the adjoined depths of new life. What was old is new. What was dead is alive and you feel it in each heartbeat………………..The gift of baptism…………….Jesus

Did my thoughts touch reality today?
Did I question in unadulterated Philosophy to the reality of my being or was I swept in the fear mongering deluge of productiveness. I know What but not Why or Who’s doing it. The trap is set on a materialism that sits on the sheets of the American dream. You either have and want more or can’t get out but still want in. This is a fraudulent joke of false individualized eternity spinning on an axis of evil that feeds delusional happiness to our sinful perspectives. How many thoughts and lives are wasted on the will of willingly submitting to the selfish hoarding of monetary prosperity? “Eye’s but no sight, ears but no sound”  I guess we rather willingly enslave each other than to unclutch an idol. But can I ask a question for the sake of asking a question? Can I ask a question for you to ponder and only answer to yourself without its relevance being associated with the happiness of a 5 year plan?............. Who are you?...........

No taste for the aged body who fears the winter.
Their lot is a shinny robe of deceit.
To be destroyed in the fire of death.  

Spices so deeply seasoned in the soul who renews through the winter.
Their lot is the painful snapped bone revived in a veil of TRUTH.
In the fire of death you emerge refined in Faith..Hope and Love...trials are coming but......
He makes all things new....... Lord Jesus Christ

One must not confuse the truth with distortion.
The best ruse always has some validity in its portion.
You can’t see the other side until you want to,
The fear of the ‘other’ is a reality that will haunt you.  
One reaps what they sow,
but its a mistake to think,   that whats peeped…. is what’s known.
There is more than what you see, all actions are convoluted in the unseen.
Not to mean that polluted actions shouldn’t be transcended,
but any social justice grounded in violence is upended.
An eye for an eye, is self-righteous anger, fire with fire.
If you hate fire, why more fire?
Death for death, breathe for breathe
Underneath it all its fear for fear.
That the person you curse is not different than the one you kiss and call dear.
, the Evil other is an extra-terrestrial,
Wholly  different from what you are….putting yourself on a moral pedestal.
That’s the throne of a Pharisee, with no-analysis to compile, just burn um at the stake, sinner, sinner its a witch trial.