I'm telling myself to wish you the best,
But the worst could mean so much more for me.
I can't stand the thought of you leaving.
Because your words still echo in my thoughts:
'Maybe'
'Someday'
'Need'
The things you say to make me hold on,
Make me hate you.
Make me love you.
Is it worth it?
I'm hanging on your every move.
And I feel helpless.
And I miss your face.
But I know,
If you wanted to see me you would.
And that's what kills me.
Because you haven't.
You give me just enough,
So I'm there every time you look.
You're just like all the others.
And I'm so easy to use.
Everyday, I lose a little more faith,
That what I saw in you was real.
But maybe you're just scared.
Someone told me once,
Every man is a coward until he's not anymore.
So that's what I think.
I think you're a coward,
Who can't face me;
Who can't love me;
Who can't save me.
Because you're not willing to leave any of yourself behind.
And baby, I get that.
Which is why I wont call you out.
I'll just wish you the best.
And show you what real love is.
And pray to God, you're not too dumb to see it.
And that it wont be so late,
When you wake up and realize you need me,
And you want me,
And you want me to need you,
That I've decided I no longer want you

**At all.

My days are filled with,
Poetry and Pandora --
Read and write and sing...
(I'm nothing if not lonely)
Bug me anytime you want.

Sometimes,
I stare at your picture,
Wishing I had something better to do.
While you're out with
other girls.
But I was supposed to be the one
dating boys,
that you were supposed to hate.
I can't.
Because they would all fall in love.
And I don't need any more trophies that beat.

Waiting for you,
Is like waiting for morning --
By the time it comes,
I'm fast asleep.

I think my rules went out the window
When I said, "I like you."
(like that's so monumental)
I fall in love with every boy I meet,
If only for a moment,
Anyways.
And rules are meant to be broken.
And I'm nothing if not a rebel.

But you,
Oh, sweet you,
You'll think you're something special.
And maybe you would be,
If I knew how to care.
But all I really want is love when,
it.doesn't.want.me.

Still,
I was struck when you said,
"YOU deserve flowers and candy."
Because really,
No one does,
And you know it.

So maybe,
It's your obnoxious arrogance,
Or your strong opinions,
Or the way you constantly disagree with me
Seemingly
just.for.the.hell.of.it.
But
When you said I was something special,
I believed you.

And truly,
You'vegotmehangingonyoureveryword.

You'll weave pretty futures for us --
Promises you'll never keep,
Plans you'll never even attempt...
And I know it.

I'll stare at you and smile.

You'll decorate our tomorrows,
With dollar signs,
And wedding rings,
And a house where we can live.
Empty, empty...
And I know it.

I'll stare at you and smile.

You'll pack a bowl for us to smoke with your father.
We'll promise to watch television with your mother.
We'll pretend to make dinner plans with your sister.
We'll never leave your room.
And I know it.

I'll stare at you and smile.

You'll say how well you know me.
You'll claim how much you love me.
You'll try to read my thoughts.
You'll fail.
And I know it.

I'll stare at you and smile.

I don't have to travel 600 miles,
to know how this story ends.
I'm a better
liar
than I ever imagined.

I'll just stare at you and smile.

Your words captivate me.
And I'm a sucker for words...

I have the strangest urge
To just watch you do anything.
You fascinate me.

I want to memorize the way you move --
Because I've never seen it before,
And I don't want to forget.

I want to know your scent.
Close my eyes and breathe...
I'll imprint you in my memory.
You're intoxicating.

I want to fight against you --
Feel your passion,
Anger?
Strength.
It's palpable; It's suffocating.

I want to lay in bed
And listen to you talk
For hours.

Your words captivate me.
And I'm a sucker for words.

You ache, you ache, you ache;
Why wont you let me love you?
Why must you make me wait?
I cannnot wait forever...

Why wont you let me love you?
I would live to make your sun shine brighter;
I would die to take away your pain.

Why must you make me wait?
Each day is an empty promise;
Each night is an empty bed.

I cannot wait forever --
The more I know, the more I love.
And the more I love, the more I ache.