My subconscious owns me;
I have no control.

I am --
An explicit enigma.
A steadfast storm.
A controlled catastrophe.
A delicate disaster.
An awesome accident.
An intrepid injury.

I am --
Carefully.constructed.chaos.

And sometimes,
Even I don't know me.

If I never sleep,
I never have to wake up
To another day,
I'm just not ready to face;
Why can't time just stop at night?

I spend all this time,
With my head lost in the clouds,
Thanks to you; and yet,
I'll keep your feet on the ground.
It is beautiful up here.

My emotion hides.
Your eyes, your smile, your laugh...
Suffocate me in,
Every single thing you are;
I will love you from afar.

She says,
"Stay here, where it's safe."
But what if I don't want to be safe?

Put me in a room filled with smoke and strangers,
And music so loud
You can't hear the mistakes you're making,
Or the sins you're saying outloud.
Feed me play-time poisons,
So all my inhibitions slip right off.
And everything I feel is unreal,
Until I don't feel anything at all.
And then
With fuzzy eyes and ringing ears,
And sweat dripping down our backs,
We'll fall in lust
And call it love,
Just for tonight.
And I'll let you take a piece of me,
With little coaxing.
If you promise to remember my name...
Or my face?
Or maybe just the way my body felt against yours,
The way your hands moved over my curves,
The way I had you gasping for air,
And The way I left you wanting more.

And you'll feel it tomorrow.
When the pound in your head
And the twist in your gut
Feels more like a hole in your heart
That's shaped like me.

Or at least,
That's what I'll tell myself.
Because for those few hours,
I was on top of the world.
And from up there,
I couldn't feel the pain of being me.

She says,
"Stay here, where it's safe."
Well,
That's a risk I'm willing to take.

Oh, insomnia, thou art a heartless *****.
And yet, I embrace thee --
For staying with me every night,
When no one else does.

My bed is quite the companion.
He keeps me warm,
When it's too cold to walk away.

So, wrap your arms around me and we'll wait for the sun to rise together.

The winter months are the harshest --
The nights are far too cold,
The days are far too short,
And every minute I'm awake is never-ending.

I hardly ever see the sun.

I'll swallow something bitter;
Let my stomach catch on fire...
And sing silent songs to the stars --
They listen to me every night,
When no one else does.

I think I'll let you hold me for a little while longer,
Because I love the warmth
As much as you love me.
And you might think I'm cruel for letting you hold me together,
But you need to feel strong
Like I need to breathe.

Baby, be my savior in an empty parking lot;
Be my laughter in the evening,
And my strength when I am not.
Honey,
You can drown my every care and keep me warm at night,
But I'm never gonna need you, 'cause you're not who's on my mind.

I think I'll let you use me for a little while longer,
I love to feel needed
Like you love to feel free.
And you might think I'm blind for thinking we might get together,
But I need the lie
As much as you need me.

Baby, be my savior in an empty parking lot;
Be my laughter in the evening,
And my strength when I am not.
Honey,
You can drown my every care and keep my warm at night,
But I'm never gonna need you, 'cause you're not who'd on my mind.

And you can tell me
That it's empty
And it doesn't mean a thing.
Well, I'm hoping
Just for your sake
That is what you really think.
'Cause the truth is
We're all users
In a drug infested life.
Where the cause
Of the effect
Is being lonely and alive.