you used to call me beautiful.
so much it never felt like a compliment.
almost a need rather than a want.
it became fully expected rather than used as flattery.
comparisons between my earthly body and earthly beauty were not uncommon,
and remarks on what you saw in me solely customary.

now i struggle to remember how you saw delicacy in my flaws.
instead your words are filled with incantations of what i lack.
your eyes have lost the old look of loving intoxication,
presently they see what there is too much of,
what could be adjusted or covered.

and where you once found beauty in my words,
exclusively remorse remains.

i knew i was in love with you when i kissed you
in the back of our best friends car
and felt a change overcome me

suddenly i knew i was where i needed to be
and that moment took over
my soul connected with yours through our lips

i’m not alone in being sad.
that’s the worst part about it .
no matter how much i try,
everyone else will think they understand.
i’m not sure if i want them to.
not sure if i want to be alone in this feeling.
or if i’d rather have a companion.

i’m terrified of letting you love me.
of giving that side of myself up again.
and exposing myself to those flames once more.
the burns from her are slowly recovering,
but the fear hasn’t quite left.
i know you would help treat the burns,
rather than leave me for dead.
but still,
the exposure to your heat.
is frightening all the same.

my soul intertwined with yours,
the second our eyes locked.
hearing your voice
made everything feel right.
the way you make time move so quickly
i could spend hours in that car with you,
listening to every thought you have.