Every now and then there's
A peak of inspiration
The moment may be fleeting
But from this time
Emotions arise, and feelings become clear
And only then am I able to tell you of
My dreams, my love, and my fears

For the first time in months
I saw you again and my heart stopped
I could hardly look at you
But I had to keep looking at you
I couldn't talk to you
But I wanted too
I told myself to let this go
I promised that I'd decide instead to forget
I knew I would find my true feeling
In that fleeting moment
And now that I've laid eyes on you again
I simply can't get you out of my head

I will feel discomfort
It's apparent I'm uneasy
I'm terrified of
Scrutiny
Popularity
Simple conversation
Doesn't take much thought
Mind on a constant cycle
Yo'u can't, you won't, you'll fail
Cycling on an endless track
Soon
My fears will be made apparent
And I will have no choice
But to go back to this place
Which fills my soul with
Turmoil
Dread
A slow growing anxiety
180 days
Then it's done
For me school is far from fun
Cycle of anxiety
Shall I cope?
I soon shall see

Such a shame
A one sided relationship
Shall I add up each effort
All my care
Each phone call
Both shoulders to cry on
With nothing in return
I try so very hard
A best friend to me, you mean the most to me
Why do I not mean as much?
Why must I try so hard?
Closeness is not one sided
I'm beginning to see
What I've tried to ignore
Please, be with me
But if not, just tell me
I can't take this
I care for you so much
If I'm inconvenient
Just tell me
If I'm trying too hard
Just tell me
If I should give up on this
Please tell me

We'll never be
There'd be nary a chance for you and me
I've come to a clear realization
Epiphany
You'd never want to be with me
You want the looks, the face, her eyes
I've got brains, and I'm just so 'nice'
Those were the things you said about me
Not that I'm beautiful or even pretty
'bright and nice'
Well, what does that mean?
Simply that you'll never fall for me
And I won't be in your daydreams
And despite my strong, strong feeling
It's going to total waste
No longer, when recalling you,
Is there a wide smile on my face
I'd love to think your heart would change
And feelings for me could flourish
But in this world, I'm so aware
Your heart remains with her, and I'm just foolish.

Not the easiest task at hand
To gaze into your eyes
Each time I look upon them
It's as if the world had stopped
Pure, clear, green perfection
Big, expressive, infallible
My breath is always taken away
When I come across your gaze
They sparkle just right when you smile
They deepen so much if there's sadness within you
If speaking of the one I cannot be
When speaking of her charm and perfection
And you look into me, directly to me
I wish yo'u were looking right through me

As I lay upon the earth
My lids flutter shut
In an instant I'm transported
Into the recesses of my subconscious
The wheels turn swiftly
Images come alive
Within my mind
Lay my thoughts and desires
In the land where I dream,
It at seems too real
The plans I hope for, the dreams I pray for
The feelings I yearn for
The boy I long for
Too many things, so many things
One track mind, not a chance
While my lids lay shut, my head and heart open
I don't have to see to believe