i wanted to paint
you a galaxy,
but all i could
put out was
a mere speck
of paint.






*(mer)

my coffee was
bitter, but the
sky was giving
me the jitters



*(mer)

you were temporary,
always going to leave.
but you left a mark
so permanent.
i could scream &
no one would hear it.
you wouldn't have
flinches at my piercing
cry, even if i was in front
of your eyes.


*(mer)

i feel like i'm locked inside a cage
a wild animal striped of its freedom

i feel like i'm glued together, but falling apart
amputated, but longing for ability

i feel like i'm at a dead end on all four sides

i feel like i'm broken
all my pieces scattered across the floor

someone will see the pieces & clean them up one,
someone will find me aimlessly wandering & guide me,
someone will fix me,
someone will free me from this cage one day, right?

will someone ever see that this body is weakened to the bone & slowing decaying & washing away?
the real question is not will, but when?
when will someone help me escape myself, my mind, this body?

how much longer can i take until i give away?



*(mer)

one day, i will have
a body that you will
have never seen nor
touched & it is that day,
that i will be free at last




*(mer)

if there's a "God"
i want him to tell
me why he chooses
to stop the breathing
of everyone i love

why didn't he take
away my breathing
when i longed for it
to stop? he just took
the one's i loved away,
leaving me inhaling
& exhaling



*(mer)

pulling weeds is like
plucking the dreams
of someone with so
much potential &
leaving them to die.


*(mer)