giving you another chance
was like reloading the gun
i had just shot myself with



*(mer)

you never loved me
as much as you said
you did & you will
never love me as much
as i love you.


*(mer)

i sleep with five
dreamcatchers
above my bed

but i still seem
to have night
mares of you
& me, together
again.


*(mer)

awake


i can lay for hours just thinking

about death

& all the things i’ve never done.

if i would die tonight,

i’d be disappointed

because i never took

those chances when i could have,

i never said what i thought when i

should have.

i haven’t done very much, so

maybe i don’t want to die;

not just yet.

i want to live before i go.


*(mer)

feelings

i am sure of
mine, but
are you sure
of yours?

cause somedays,
i know you love
me.
but other days,
i’m questioning
you.

because sometimes,
you talk too much
about a girl you once
had, who once was
your everything, who
once was in my place,
who once gave you
everything.

& i wonder,
am i enough
for you or
does she
put out more
than i ever will?


*(mer)

i loved you with
your bad habit
in between your
lips, but you did
not love me with
mine on my wrists


*(mer)

i had finally reach the top of the mountain
i was enjoying my view
the sun shine & the world peaceful at last
but suddenly
the mountain started to crumple
crumpling, crumpling, crumpling
i was falling with it
i wasn't tumbling quickly, it felt like slow motion
i didn't know when i was going to hit rock bottom & start all over again
i didn't know if i was was ever going to be ok ever again
not after this fall from the top


*(mer)