You must understand

I no longer recognize your faces

Please forgive me...

I never was a very good human

However

You may find comfort in the following confusion

You see

When I find myself in the mirror

I too am greeted by a familiar stranger

Excuse me

I am a sickly structure with an abstract affliction

I only see in madness

I only came here because I need an excuse for existing

A low day for this brain box

But what constitutes normalcy?

Fine lines for strutting and a head full of holes

I never know what it needs

I found domiciles consumed by powder rockets and fuzzy fiends  

full of cosmic jokes and silver wrapped trinkets

full of window taps and shattered reflections

Plastic plateaus circled by virtual vultures

Capturing memory and chemical persuasions

Pocket tucked and indifferent for the sake of an easy dispersement

Disassembled depravity reassembled for hilarity

A fine insect coating for the main stream

Cancelled glances accompany hysterical stances

what an exhausting display of vanity

Smile for the ghosts who need the most

Smile for the muted mechanics and static responses

I left my plots behind

they are now victims of consumption

scavengers of extravagance

ravaging the proper somewhere over my shoulder

A distant echo now

I want to tear it all down

Skies like lunacy

Earth like excess

between these scenes

Lies a distracted remedy for a nonsensical trajectory

No oxygen left that hasn't been spoken for

Breathe in another song and exhale the sorrow

It is not mine

nor is it yours

We are intruders in an otherwise flawless formality

Distant sighs under spotlight saturation

I've seen stranger souls shrug in defeat

Another jaw made slack by an unhinged notion

Puzzled by such purity in obscurity

how can one do it justice?

I die twice pursuing saner circles

I ride a wanting wave when life speaks lunacy

Found myself accidentally proposing to ghosts on the subway

Never real

Light speed fleeting

Found common ground in contorted concrete

So many lives fighting for meaning

Surely I can mingle in this hysterical crossfire?

I lost it inside a fabrication
I lost it inside an amphetamine

Never knew the quick fix for a trick switch relapse

Never could conceive the means for blissful navigation

Some capable capsules designed for the stream line

Makes paranoia comply for a nervous showdown

Compulsive colors for a stranger skull

repulsive renditions for your ink and freak

I've never been so certain...

That when I sleep I weep for a world that never ceases

Stomach pain for days

Scraped the bottom of another wonder

Found its emptiness worth pause

Everything is so far away from me

Time is a ******

A habit made ancient and unwavering

The proof is merely a paused perception away

I was lethargic in lullabies

spotlight saturated and speechless

concaved cushions and dim lit kingdoms

fell away inside a chemical nap

I came here hoping for clarity

I found the same chaos rebranded

Imagination measured in concrete stretches

factories inspire assembly line portraits

The painters where all noble fiends

sketching skies for pleasant company

Still these habitats prove overwhelmed

exhausted figures faint from consumption

Familiar anatomy
Familiar tragedy

Calming colors on a brickwork spread

I move through their pauses

A mind full of static
A pocket full of amphetamines
Artificial antics from plus sign suitors

While supplies last the mind will not grasp the severity of such resolve

Unless it's contrived and longs for the fringe

Accommodating dust damp bunkers and fallout nooks

Temporary ploys  
Projectile toys

What savage means for elation

Reality conducts seamless sickness

primitive surgery for existing

Confusion now for these faces and graces that perpetually stream

Conclusions now for a sigh that never speaks

I woke up laughing

tripping over notions of full circle lunacy

Reminding me why I never sleep

That escalation was merely a product of miscommunication

thoughts and actions misconstrued

Anonymity amplified for the seekers can only lead to desperation and hysterical behavior

Animosity harbored can only bring sickness when we come faceless and wanting

Declare this head space unfit for sanity if you truly believe me monstrous

Who am I?

With pupils pondering tightropes and nails sufficiently chewed

I will surely be my own undoing

I met a man who claimed him and I came from the same home,
I told him I've never been.

he didn't understand my disconnected nostalgia,
Instead he trusted place and time.
I guess he hasn't had much experience with drafty windows or closed mouths.

I tried to explain to him, home is where you hide your skeletons,
and I've used people and words as closet doors,
when that didn't work I buried them in shallow graves under my skin.

he said he noticed the bones sticking out of my body and I told him,
my search for home as left me starving and unstable,

that after a lifetime of asking for directions
to churches and cemeteries,
I've become envious of comfortable beds and worn-in floor boards.