I wait, excited for when I see you again.
touch your fingers
kiss your lips
hear your voice.

But you always wanted more.

Because instead of wanting to see me
you wanted to see how the dress you bought looked on my body,
instead of touching my fingers
you wanted to invade  the parts of my body i regarded sacred,
instead of kissing my lips
you wanted to devour my mouth
and dominate me to show how weak i am,
instead of hearing my voice
you wanted moans and cries of pleasure
screams for the world to hear that I belong to you.

I sit here on the bed.
After your rounds of happiness and my forced labor.
I ask you who was the girl that you were so clearly flirting with last night and you tell me  it was just harmless flirting
and I bite my tongue
because i wanted to scream at you
Is it harmless,
that when you canceled on our date because you said you were sick,
someone told me that they saw you at a club, that you were gripping that girl's waist
and grinding on her like you were her man?
Is it harmless,
that everyday you rub it in my face how immensely inexperienced and timid i am
compared to the other girls you've been with?
Is it harmless,
that you asked me if it's okay if you ***** other girls
and I was taken aback and it was clear that I didn't approve?
You said
"They don't really mean anything, I just need some variety."
I knew right there that even if I didn't allow you, you'd still do it.
And right now
I’m just confused more than ever as I ask you again
What exactly we are and you say
“We're exclusively dating.”
But most of the time it’s more like
exclusively *******
with each other
with other emotions
with our non-existent commitments.
Because after just a mere 5 minutes of you being with me
and I refuse to spread my legs for you,
you have the nerve to lie to my face and look me in the eye and say
"My love for you gets stronger everyday."
And I swoon, being the naive little girl that I am
I am hung up on your words and I say yes when you ask me if we're okay.
But I know that by okay you mean okay with being invaded.
And with every pound, with every ******
The word love is replaced by lust
so now the sentence is
"My lust for you gets stronger everyday
and my love for you decreases the same."

I am so tired and so worn down from the weight of all my insecurities and you come hobbling in with your own bag of insecurities and stick it inside of me which you only do when other girls don't want you to.

Well guess what
For the first time in my life,
I'm
gonna
say
no.

Heaven.
I'd die seven times if it took that many lives to be reincarnated with a destiny parallel to you.
You
Could get the best of me
Is it true that it could be, possibly-
That the entirety of the universe is versed to the melody of our hues and energies;
Energy:
The strength and vitality needed for sustained activity,
A persons physical and mental powers,
Like electricity surging through cosmic showers...
Do you wish upon a star when you see one fly?
Have you ever flown high enough to gaze down at the sky?
The haze of the atmospheres often glares the heavens, but I'm prepared to take you there
I swear
We could frenzy through the air like acrobats
See, I've got wings on my back
Hold on.
I recognize the ring to this song
We've danced through the streams of my dreams
Amongst the pyramids at the first beam of the morning sun
The pyramids gleam
It seems the existence of life has begun
A King and a Queen and a universe to conquer and run.

Are you OK?*
I lack my own approval most days.

Why haven't you been eating?
It's a spiritual fast.

Why have you been isolating yourself?
I'm trying to formulate a plan to save the world.
Somehow.

Any thoughts of hurting yourself?
What's life without a few battle scars?

What are your triggers?"
That's a very loaded question...

You look good with the lights real low
You look good when the music's slow
Tell me how you speak such prose
When all you do is say hello

You smell sweet in the summer rain
And you sound hot when you spit disdain

You curve my mind when you bend your back
and you give me what my body lacks

You feel like butter on my skin
You taste like cake when it's baked real thin

You look real cute when you're smoking soft
You look so nice when your clothes are off

Turn me into what you see
Cuz I can't tell what you see in me

I'm falling here into your hair
Soft and light like kindling fare

It's odd and sweet how you look so sour
When I come home too late an hour

It's crazy how you drive me sane
It's hazy how you clear my brain

Baby I'm just lying here
Wishing you were coming near
Hoping that you'll head my way
From your dimension out in space

Dazzle though, you have your place
and I'll just lie in shadows wait

Fractured prism glitter gleam
like a trick of light off a crystal peak;
You're nothing but a fleeting dream
A puff of smoke;
Dispersing steam