Surrounded by empty bottles
Falling off my bed through the night
They wake me for a moment
Reminding me I am far from alright

Pictures I once drew
Staring at me from that place I knew

Think of me as a knight
A drunk or a punk
Makes no difference to me knowing
I am in fact less than than

I cut myself tonight
I needed to feel, but I still cant

Maybe ill take another sip
Maybe this one will last
And if not I got another waiting
My throat is parched, not yet numb

What happened? And where did I go?
Lost control of my thoughts
Thinking I still had control

Curious to take a bite
Out of this pie of glass
I hope tonight I savor what I always lacked

Think of me as a wonderer
Or a painter without a brush
Dont need a canvas, dont need a cast
I draw the lines of ecstasy
With the blood from the past

When crying became pointless
Hours past as if i was forbidden to wonder
The lights down the street marking
That thinning and empty path

Gram by gram I wonder
Could you **** my very essence of lust
One line after another and I still
Feel nothing more than a rush

Think of me as a lover
A lier or a ghost
Think of me as I wonder
For this night I wish id never ponder

Gram by gram Ill shallow
The thin lines of dust
Hoping one day I find
If I can feel the corners
of a square made of glass

Good night, rest well
I said to you every night I lived

A kiss on the forehead
I gave to you holding my heart in a pinch

Your tender sweet smell
My sons, for you I gave my very self

I walk the streets at night
Hoping to one day I find
Your ever loving faces
Telling me “daddy, we are back”

I walk a dark path
Because the truth is, without you im lost

I dance a line which vanishes
The moment I close my eyes.

My soul cries every morning
Because I dont get to wake up by you

I drown myself at night, knowing
Knowing I can never get you back

My angels I wonder
I hope with every last breath I grasp,
I ponder moment after moment
For the moment I lost you
Took away the sanity I once had.

Night after night I shelter
In the last few corners i have

My babies, my boys
Ill once more hold you closely
Im trying to make my way back.

You got taken away from me
The truth is, i had no fighting chance
There are demons around us
And someday youll rest
Knowing they took you away from me
While I begged and begged and begged.

I wish I could hold you
I wish, I wish
Hold you near me
Sing to you one last time
I wish my loving rocco and tili
For you own my heart
And my every beating beat.

If I could Id tell you
What is like to surrender.

If I was able to, Id show you
How a dead soul mourns at night.

Shivers that dress me in madness
Waiting for a cold breeze to cast a spell,
Tremors I was once surrounded with
Hold my hand into abyss.

Like tearing flesh with a rotten iron bar,
Or wiping my back open
With the tears of a thousand broken hearts.

Rip my nails, burn me lonely
So I can once again feel.
The shattered picture I held near me
Lost a place to be in.

Like a blade cutting deeply
Into every vein, every limb,
I’ll fantasize of a place
Where pain will cease to exist.

Drag me through the mud now
Mock me if you dare,
Spit on me, hopeless ending dreams.

Rip me away from madness
Carve a hole in my grin,
Create a world of nonsense
Where I can once again wish.

Oh if I could I would,
Hold onto to you once more
I understand is far from truth now,
But would you please explain to me
Why a whisper can travel forever
But a wish would die young?

Show me, I beg you,
The path to redeem.
Guide me, I ask of you
While I drive off a broken and rusty bridge.

Ill pretend to paint a painting
Using some cloth, some paint and a brush.

Ill attempt to describe your beauty
Like I could ever have a fair shot.

Ill dream of casting an image, or a thought
So angels can vanish, knowing they lost at last.

Ill wish for one more moment, as I witness
The stars coming to a halt,
Sitting next to the pit in fire
Matching that warmth spell you casted fast.

Ill drink one last bottle
Tonight and forever shall never last,

Oh, ill win every battle
If it got me closer to your heart.

Ill look at your eyes and pause a moment
So I can understand the endless pit,
With every second I stare
A demon surrenders
In the hope you’ll look back at him.

Ill render the deepest sorrow
Ill walk the longest way back,
For with every second i saw you
A new hell awaits to take me back.

Yeah, Ill melt in your silhouette
Ill dance away in your dreams,
An perhaps one day I wonder,
Would I ever see such a forbidden dream?

Soft are your curves
A decadence in disguise,
A smooth tempting sin

Your skin like a dream
Dancing like they do in the ocean,
for with each touch
I melt, I pause and I imagine

you move like the waves,
God, Neptune must be insane!
to create such a beauty
from the droplets of the seas.

your eyes put to shame the Horizon
two timid looking stars in the distance,
marking a new path to sail on
for the wonderer kings
who only wish is to by you be touched.

your voice like a distant salty breeze,
perfumed by the mysteries
that hide in the deep deep sea
like an universe of sounds,
that compere to nothing Ive found.

for one day i wish I conquer
that which seems to be a queen,
the dancing queen of the ocean
for which my heart beats.

with the chill of the wind
audible in the close distance.
the morning droplets on the dead skin
painting a landscape of hopeless worlds
that will soon perish.

under the still darkness
moonlight glistening on your skin,
under the twisted spell of life
I hold you down and feel your soul breathe
holding you tight until you can finally feel.

I've seen demons, angels and dust
like shadows casted by the old man,
I've seen beauty in the ugliest of places
seen demons with pretty faces
followed angel with a dark hollow heart
baby I've seen, well I've seen nearly all

come lay down for a moment
let that moment never stop
let your wrongly placed tears leave your face
they can live on my chest instead..

rest your fears on my darkest corner
from there I can easily protect you,

lay on me for a second
I like to feel your small trembles,
let yourself feel a little closer to home

quiet down for a moment,
let the tears dry up
your eyes carry so much pain
they don't allow you to see clearly when wet

kiddo, allow yourself to be you
life will never be easy
for this is not living,
but let every step you take under the ****** whisper of sorrows
testify to yourself, that despite everything
the demons cry to have you, because the can't

Dark that seems bright
Like tears down my black soul
Under the night light
Of a timid moon

Beg me to stay so I can go
Mock me or hate me,
So I can numb some more

Shadows that look alike
Like trees on the distance
That hold me alive

Dark is the night
When all i see is your smile
Fading away in the background
Hold me one last time
Dont let me go tonight

The anger surrounding me
Taking over what seems to be everything,
Whats the point?
Whats the point on being nice?
If after every minute
Im last in the race…
Tailored to protect and love
Hammered to hurt and be alone.
Im loosing
Loosing myself again
Loosing everyone again
Im loosing again,
There must be a different way
I don’t want to feel
I don’t agree with life
Or rather life
Doesn’t seem to agree with me…
Then so be it,
If we aren’t getting alone the leave me
Life, just please leave me…

Not sure if its your scent
Might be your sense of humor
Tho Im sure it could be
The way you feel.

Cant quite make it
Why you look at me the way you do,
Why you shy up when I look back
Or how you rock when we kiss.

Cant take it apart
I just cant pick a favorite part.

Is it the way you smile?
Or the voices you make
To match the emotions
When you talk about things.

Or is it maybe your touch
The sensation of your skin?
The way you hold my hands
Or how your fingers dance over my skin.

Cant take it apart
I just cant decide which side of you
Makes me happier

cold are the nights left behind
by a slow walk of thoughts,
lights in the dark like timid angels
that shine on your skin
made of pearls and stained dreams.

it feels upside down,
the hole in your soul,
it feels like a burning ***
of molten stone.

long are the nights left to live
they remind you and hunt you
for what once happen
and shall never repeat.

with everything left blank
in a bed made of sorrows,
depression and dust.
with everything left behind
looking for your next good day
and continues to be in the past.

but your smile brought you back
your timid and fearful smile,
looking for a guarding soul
the smile that cries,
because its without a purpose, lost.

and your eyes, the perfect paradise
where angels and demons
have found home.
where pain and hope,
lost a thousand battles
where my soul shines back at me
with a loss for words.

yet your smile will bring you back,
the smile that cries aloud
for someone to smile back.

your soul knows no bounds,
believe me I've seen it all...
your soul is not broken, it's simply lost.

Dee, darling... angel in disguise
how can you be so tender
with such a broken past?
how were you tailored
to shine so bright above the dusk?
where did you come from?
and where would you end up?

Your heart puts to shame
the bravest soldier from times past,
yet you hide behind,
every word you let others talk.

You have a diamond for a soul
so why cover it with coal dust,
you past is not your future Dee...
try not to treat it like a fact.

Oh... but I've seen it all
and I've seen inside you, darling
I've seen the diamond, that you no longer get to hide.
I've brushed away some of the darkness
that was blinding you shut.

So hold my hand now...
lets go back home,
trust me, would you?
so I can make you whole.

You said we were done, and it made me loose my stand, my feet started to tremble to shake and fear took over me in just a second and I couldn’t breath, I didn’t want to live.

I couldnt hold your face any longer, I couldnt smell your hair, the hours will pass through me like a forgotten wonder, while I wonder where youve been.

I couldnt think of you as my angel, or hold your hands next to heart, I couldnt hold you close for forever, nor calm your tears with mine... because you are now gone.

Going through the motions now, meeting people, shaking hands, kissing my loneliness away, like a homeless dog tries to look for a heart, searching for what I dont want.

It feels empty now, it doesnt make sense now, none of this covers a hole now, the emptiness of happiness, singing songs of darkness.

And I go through the motions now, filling glasses with liquid poison, trying to forget, looking for the next erosion of my feelings, waiting for them to quiet down, I don’t understand.

My bed feels empty, since the last time you were home, driving down the street feels lonely since I last drove you back. Even the bar we went to, just that one time, it holds my heart with hooks of fire every time I drive past.

And it just feels numb now, everything seems off now, you are too far away, everything ***** now, you aren’t mine, everything is hard now...

You took my heart, and kept it since, I miss my heart, you took it all, we had it all, and you left me none... you have my heart now, I don’t want it back, I wanna have yours back, I want you to hold me now.

Going through the motions now, looking at the mirrors that don’t look back, going through life now, like a used cigarette left in the rain, slowly disappearing into every one else’s days.

But take my hand now, hold me close again, you and I are broken together, but our pieces fit so properly, you and I, the idea of that brings me pain and my smile back.

You and I, could it be? Could I hold you once again?, and never let you go...

Going through the motions now, every day feels further apart, every moment I don’t have you, kills another bit of my soul, every kiss I don’t steal from you, lets me see Im lost.

Its you and I now, but only in my dreams, ill hold onto that dream for now, while I prepare the rope and chair, its you and I now, or could that ever be? It doesn’t matter much now, I couldn’t see you even if you came, my eyes are shut red now, let me hold on to that dream.

Its all over now, good bye my sweet thing.

I need to go,
Need to stay awake
Night walks into the dark
Love songs that are mute.
Because when I fly I die
Turning my head at the shadows of the past.
Because when I die Im alive
Rebound from the ashes
Of pain and dust,
Drowned in the sorrows of lust
Pain simply lets me know
I can still feel.
You are the needle to my arm
The powder to my nose,
And baby, love I need my drug.

Your curves make my heart stop,
seeing you laying there
your pearl white skin
Like a canvas for my sins.

Your silhouette makes me tremble,
lost in the illusion of control
powerless, enslaved to your touch.
like a painter without a brush
I’m forced to used my fingers,
To explore your every inch
Every bit of skin that you let me have.

And then you kiss me,
What a marvelous temptation,
I switch from being intoxicated in love
to needing to have you in every angle.

Let me play with you slowly,
Like a musician playing piano
Over a late night hangover.
Let me inside you, let my fingers feel
Your every type of texture.
Let me hands run free...
Let my mouth eat you out of control.

Keep kissing me slowly,
your lips feel tender, and warm
pressed against mine, slightly open
I can taste your tongue
I can feel its timidness
wet and warm,
like your *****, when I play with it gentle.

Bring your mouth closer to me know,
Its time to feel it from a different angle,
kiss my body all the way down
until you have me inside you,
You do it so so slowly,
your mouth...
God I can feel you wet and **** mouth
Wrapped against my ****,
As you slowly go up and down
I get harder and less gentle.
Let me feel more of your throat,
I cant promise ill be careful,
Your tongue, playful
Matches the rest of you,
Especially in this form of paradise in heaven.

I walk down a path of red steps
my own blood leads the way,
I can run but I choose to crawl
I need to feel lower
closer to whats lost.

people who stare at me
like mirror images on a wall,
whispers that sound furious
screams that calm you down.

I am death in chains,
I live to hurt, to induce pain.
your tears match my anger
me soul crashes with despair,
lonely is the path I walk
full of bodies and doves.

When you look at me I tremble,
not for fear, or injustice
not for charity nor remorse,
but because I know I'll hurt you
my breath, my look, my very own shadow
will hunt you until we are consumed.

we become one, you and I
when you chose to leave me,
when you left me alone
you and I are lost,
together we are better
in the worse possible form.

look at me,
**** my soul slowly
so I know I'm alive...

like a cold glass of wine
touch my lips...
so I can be alive.

Let me be the cause of your screams,
the reason why your legs shake...
provoke me,
so I can have you.

like a warm cup of tea,
your skin feels against the sheets
my heart pumps faster
each time you stop breathing.

Slowly dance for me, love...
show me you desire me,
come home with me
you will feel good tonight.

walk into a dimmed room with me,
hold my hands...
I only need my lips to make you mine.

love whispers dancing on my ears,
every time I feel you, or hear you breathe.

your soul drowns me,
it keeps my head above water, where I die with no air...

I smile at your silly moves,
while you sharpen your knife with lure,
you tease me and drag me to you
like a pig walks to die cold.

paint my tongue with your lust,
embrace my every moment like the last
tell me, whisper...
that in your arms I live
until your love kills me.

so destiny huh?
that demon prowling behind reality,

I feel my steps crumbling,
I walk down the path of darkness
I wake up, drunk on my sweat
I crawl in darkness, looking for you,
I look for you.

I wish I could stay forever lost,
without the ambition of you,
the lack of you in my heart,
the pathetic empathy shown by love,
make it hard to breath under the stairs of heaven...

I was dying fine, before I saw you
when I didn’t know I was lost,
when my dreams got wet by the idea of you,
when the only thing real about you...
was the byproduct of dreams left behind.

but destiny had a laugh,

I met you, down the hallway of love
you where onto me, as I was onto you,
I saw you and realized I never could have you
the fire that now burns my fuel
will now never find a host.

but destiny had a plan...

I woke up this morning,
thinking it was a dream,
I look to my left and saw my angel
I saw you, holding my hand...

no more days being lost,
nor walking down the same path,
we now make our own way through life,

Destiny, tiny demon...
to you I owe my soul,
I bow down with old hands...
to you I owe love.

Over the breeze of a dream,
one day while I was walking on the moon...
I sat with an angel,
and over one or two drinks we talked about love
we talked about you, and she asked me...
"is this real? ...it sounds like a dream
a dream we angels have,
about a goddess, the forbidden incarnation of love."

I'll stop time tonight,
see you for the last time, until the next time.
I want to come home tonight,
and while I hold your waist upwards.
kiss you for the last time, until the next time.

Where was I before the time I kissed your lips?
I knew I was doomed, you made me the luckiest.

its al the same,
now is raining outside my room
i bet, i bet it feels wet and cold.

I dream to find a fake paradise,
far away from me and this,
I think, i think it would be pretty.

I have it all and nothing at all,
it's dry and raw, around my eyes
tears find where to live, they long left their home.

Maybe you'll stay away just today
I don't like to tell you I hate you,
our history, our passion and dark nights
I depend on you for my sanity.

Take control of me, when inside you it's easy
to not think, to be numb...

But wait, I hate you
I despise your every angle,
the thought of you shuttered on the asphalt makes me smile.

I'm a fool cause I thought I could trust you,
you said you'd be there for me to be rescued...

I want to drink so I can forget,
one drink per thought,
and now I see clear and blur
at least I muted you for a while...

I've gone without you for long before,
when I didn't feel, nor react...

I own you,
why won't you obey my commands?
why the only way to have you, is to be lost?

For every thought I'll drink some poison,
for every night I'll take a pill,
until I can feel my heart stop,
and with my last tear, hear you shutting up...

[whispers]...are you there?...
[whispers]...
... [gasps]

Life moves in a string of fate,
yours happened to cross mine, not long ago.

I seat on a broken window, and look inside
of my heart bleeding by the pain I’ve done.

Shattered thoughts, falling down the stairs
of a dark room I call self.

Hate me by my many errors; hate me by my wrongs,
hate me because I've hurt you, despite being in love.

Hate me because I've made you cry, because I've made you lost;
Hate me because with my eyes, I've shown anything other than love.

But love me baby, I beg you...

Love me because I love you most, because without you I'm empty;
love me because I've loved you, like no one had ever before.

Love me because I'm yours, because our souls are tied
love me, my love, my angel and I will forever love you more.

woman in white
dancing under the lights,
shy for a kiss
stopped and looked at me.

woman in white
your soul has no owner
the writes of your palms
paint the sky over my heart.

woman in white
dressed for me,
let me walk you down the isle
while you hold my hand.

woman in white
dance with me tonight,
let me draw your lines
with the color of my heart.

Dancing on the rhythm of your lips
dreaming by the command of your eyes,
I walk by your soul's moon light
skipping worries by the touch of your hands.

Each and every wish i ever came across
get fulfilled every day,
every time I spent an afternoon inside your heart.

I get lost in your eyes,
the deep light blue I was meant to see
the sweet color hue I was born to enjoy.

The shape of your skin,
the curves of you,
the delicate lines that make your beauty
visible in your body,
the heavenly silhouette that draws your face
the ever so delightful contour
of you pure soul shining through.

Silent words I whisper to you,
by the tongue of a writer
therapy to my heart
are the words by my hand.

To the world I gave my coldness
my glass full of hopeless intentions,
my doubts, my sorrow,
to you I gave tomorrow...

To the people I give
nothing but a box of smells
I mere reaction to the faction
I often carry around.
But to you I give today...

I scare you with my dedication
to you heart, soul and happiness
you spent a lifetime looking for me
and because I love you with passion
you hide, and run away
you turned our fantasy into a daily repetition of your past.

You cut my ropes
you've built inside me hopes,
you promised me the future
and gave me your pass wrapped in delusion.

You tell me you want this prince,
and you fully describe me,
yet I give you all that and more
and you push me out
and build in me a great remorse.

You believe that I need growing,
that my head is in the clouds
that I need to without you
become a more stable companion.

To that I laugh inside me,
you need to do the growing and the finding,
you claim you want this man
when all you expect is a puppet boy,
you say you want our love,
and each day you make us
a mirror of your old present.

Stop trying to make me less
just because that makes you comfortable,
exit out of your premediated safe zone
built by years of insecurities and control
and give in to us
even you said so yourself... we are soulmates,
stop molding us to your doubts.

I am grown,
I do know what I want, it just so happens to be you
no, this doesn't make me less of a man
this doesn't mean I don't know my heart,
it doesn't mean I need a life without you
to know how to be apart.

My love means that I desire you
that I finally have found you
the love of my life, the pocket for my heart
the only person in my life
for which I have ever and will ever
surrender my pride, and give my heart.

I don't know knowledge
Really… I don't.

All I know is lack of comprehension
And lust for self-inflicting control.

I don't know what there is to know,
life is full of uncertainty,
lack of direction and a good share of false hope.

I don't really want to know,
it will save me from the pain
from the fate of collapsing
or the rare well-made mistake.

I know just some things...
and of those I really am sure.
I'd share them with you, my dear friend
but they won't serve as knowledge at all.

Slow steps, headed to a path of abyss
dragging my thoughts through the streets...

The shades and the shadows that hunt me alone
they follow and follow, nothing I do makes them stop.

Each corner I turn, I'm hoping to become a homeless soul
intending with every step I take, for the last to be all...

It is now 3:17 am, and the stars never looked better before,
it feels almost like they are happy to see me be gone.

Broken bottles on the pathways, cutting through some old shoes
it is only real pain and blood, that grants me another go.

I open my eyes and it was all a false hope at being lost,
I'm afraid to close them again, afraid I liked the nightmare more.

I dream of taking my life
for this would be a sweet paradise.

I hope the hours of my last breath
to be as peaceful and quite as my blood leaving my body.

The moment when I'll get to feel nothing
when I could again, be loved by nobody.

That sweet memory of your eyes scarring my skin
when you broke me, while being cold blooded.

Angels let me die, demons take me alive
make every moment in my life
vanish before my dying eyes.

Dark were the nights
where my heart left the room,
a heart I lost to you
about eight months ago.

With every drop that reached the floor
a new part of me lost control,
for which I knew with certainty
it was you I just lost...

The nights by your side,
the long hours of talking about nothing
sitting in the porch
side by side to the lonely fountain.

That I had just lost
the person who I loved,
with whom I played with
every time my demons won.

That fight after fight
I poisoned you blind,
I shuttered your everlasting
sweet and pure brightness.

That the very thing I promised myself I wouldn't do
that, which I thought I knew I had control,
that for what I hate myself everyday
"that" won, and I've lost.

Somehow the angels looked down on me,
and saw truth in my cries,
they must of seen it...
saw how I became nothing,
how in my darkest moment
as you were leaving
and my soul was aching,
that if I didn't have you
I would have nothing.

The stars aligned once again,
I had you about 8 months ago,
I knew I didn't deserve you
I knew I had no worth
to be called your boyfriend or let alone, your love.
Now I get you again,
you saw something in me
and I think now I do too,
I see an immense love towards you
one I know I can't go without.

Nightmares that chase my demons
are the kind I like to dream,
when I curl up in bed
sweating and crying,
gasping for hope and dying.

I dream of killing myself
this would be a sweet rest,
tired of fighting
why my heart wants to die
when my mind doesn't allow it...

That sweat moment I dream of
when the blade splits my arteries,
or the bullet reaches the ceiling
carrying with it my sadness.

paint me the color you want
to see me as,
I'm white, but you see me blue.

trace the lines of my thoughts
in the shape you want,
I have many curves, but you only see one.

sketch me as your needs
it doesn't matter who I want to, for you be.
you'll see me how you want.

erase it all

let me take the brush

I'll handle the drawing
of the life I want.

let it go

what are you so afraid of?

you asked for me to love you
how no one has before,
but now you complain I love you
more than the day before.

I'll color my thoughts white
and trace your my lines around you,
for when you wake up and realize
that I'm what you wanted all along.

The tenderness of your heart, boosts my emotions
To alter my reality into a million other options.
The clarity of your iris, the expression of your big blue eyes,
The candlelight feeling, of your hands on mine.
Because you choose me, over all the rest
Because being able to be loved by many, you gave me the chance.
Your prince is who I am, but your king is who I get to be
You as my princess in a white long dress,
You next to me, in our kingdom we call fate.
Your passion, your love, you show me every day what I have lost
You, with your sincerity, and the purity in your soul
Allow me to see every night, what is like to fly.
The sweetness in your words, the innocent little imperfections
That makes for the perfect place for me to stay at.
And is only when I get to see you in the mornings,
Next to my arms, laying over my right hand,
I seat up to watch and observe and try to somehow
To make sense on why it is I get to get you.
My sweet **** white bunny, you make me happy like others could only wish for,
You give meaning to a life, filled with pain, lust and false hope,
Because you are the one for me and me for you,
It’s because I love you, because you took my heart
I took yours, because holding your hands I can finally feel calm.