******, ******, ******!
Why must it end like this all of the time?
Of course he has a girlfriend, he’s perfect!
It wouldn’t make sense if he didn’t have one.
Why do I do this to myself?!
Every time I meet a nice guy the same thing happens.
I start to talk myself up and yet never talk to him.
I make myself believe that I have a chance.
I’m pretty, smart, determined, occasionally witty.
But most of all I am a coward.
Sitting in the back corner with a hood over my face,
Blind and unnoticed by the rest of the world.
This is who I am.
Nobody.
It’s my fault and I know it.
I live in my mind.
It goes to places it should never go.
It sets me up for heartache and disaster.
It keeps me from going after what I want.
I am a coward.
A nobody.
I am me.

Our relationship
Doesn’t work

You only need me
When it suits you
You only use me
On the occasion
Of maybe
Knowing
That I remain
Your only option

I won’t always
Be here
For you

Let the wind blow my memories away
Let the water wash my thoughts
Let the fire burn my dreams
As the earth takes what’s left of me

I like to be alone
but don't like the loneliness
the feeling is empty, yet heavy
How can something so comfortable
be so unsettling

I am done,
You have seen me
Unravel,
Wilt
And shrivel.
No longer a flower
But forever bound to your garden.

I apologise  for peeling your eyes back
And letting them burn as they watch me suffer.
I never meant to be your trigger,
I never meant to pull the trigger
On your fragil stability.

I wish, I wish
You didn't have to watch me die.

I'm done. I'm done.