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 Jul 2013 SeeNhlanhla Moment
st64
round and round
they go

counting, counting
so long....


1.
hardly time to eat
let alone a coffee-on-the-go
yet always make an effort
for two or three daily suspended-
cafés
a poor soul will pop in later

no time, no time...


2.
emails by assignment
work-related crap
for this assiduous pair
very* far apart
alive and available
yet caught in
formulae and science
holding sway above chit-chat

no time for play
just punch in digits
and calculate
always counting
without accounting any real loss

computing life-time
for
success


3.
then, one day
by sheer chance
he sent her an Einstein quote:
"Not everything that counts can be counted,
and not everything that can be counted counts."

in her tiny office cubicle
she suddenly saw flowers
of all colours
blossom before her
erstwhile
unseeing eyes

she didn't understand....


4.
for one full year
they swopped more than equations:
         deep reminders of life
         such gems of worth
         paradoxical beauts
all encapsulated in
the vessel of silent words

he loved sending her quotes
      to uplift her quiet spirit
she repaid his efforts
     in heart's core poems

PC keyboard playing postman
while
heartbeats monitor
new algorithms

then, they saw it ....
they finally understood.


5.
work progressed
and presentation due
project done

although never met nor seen
       they felt growing synchrony
       and developing emotions
they battled to chase it off
as they both were
born of discreet essence

they agreed to meet in a year
at the fountain near
the oldest tree in Paris
at the
Square René-Viviani
in the fifth arrondissement

oh, so very long to wait...


6.
many weeks were spent
in daydreams
of delicious crêpes-suzettes and strawberries
with maple syrupy strips
and super-strong espresso
at bistros on
cobbled-****** squares

and munching baguette
with Emmenthal and salade
         walking in parks together
         lancing wish-pennies
         and getting portraits near the Seine
blue skies in dream-eyes
with birds in elm trees

deeply into each other


7.
then....
some shock was revealed
which would spin
e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g
so wildly out of orbit
for her

fate was playing games...
and laughing so wickedly
awarding such onerous toll

she understood....


8.
the time ticked by
mails became sporadic
he wondered why

the rendezvous time was close
to meet springtime love
and it took him
enormous trouble to get there

she didn't show


9.
he sat
waited
had a decaf
alone
despair settling upon him
like an overgrown and heavy wintercloak

but the sweet footfall he wanted
did not approach

that's when he assumed some ...truth
she didn't love him
she couldn't
not after this stand-up

he didn't understand....


10.
she had really tried to tell him
but ran so ungently
out
of time....


he understood
but only
some weeks after that day....
when postman delivered
to his door:
algorithmic package


11.
now, in her inbox
lies a Mother Teresa quote
which remains eternally
suspended:

“Yesterday is gone.
Tomorrow has not yet come.
We have only today.
Let us begin.”  


little counts now
so long
....



S T, 2 July 2013
saddened by news of p.brosnan's daughter....lost the battle - ovarian C.
may all be blessed, her 2 kids and all her family...and her.


"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
~ Einstein






sub-entry: 'math in the mix'

1.
yes, sir
we understand
we get it, ok!

2.
now, what could the theorem of Pythagoras
possibly teach today
with souls a-flounder?

3.
actually, a lot
think of that triangle....

a right-angled one!

(maybe :)
Of what lies the fate of being One? The aspirations of a paradise fast forgone.
Peers that flux to tame tide. Dreams of Heroes they far together glide. Morrows they lived to prosper in love. Affections that glow, no one needs to plough.
Rustic although was dark. ***** although civilisation was lack.

Yet! Still yet!!!
The bluntness of the spear cuts through many hearts.
Her invincible hand drops inventions of it kind to dirts.
A long journey into the wood is what draws nearer.
Moonlight folklores, dominating smell of affection in d air. Hopefulness of hopeless tomorrow’s meal a Dear.
Sounds of the storm, through pavorated doors, roofs left ajar.

The storm of life rages to scatter the sands.
Erosion into throats wanders fleshes into pounds.

Everyone, many one, all one soughts to touch what brains now serve as it grows. Big houses, bigger pockets, a good life as it goes.
Exodus of now, without a Moses of now into a promised land that Joshua never belonged. Pillars of light, Amalekites in all ways with many Yawehs.

Now! All is touched, many is known except a paradise that used to be. Crowds are made, Banks now a pocket, and so are Devils that flux as Bee.

Nostalgia haunts like nightmare. Ways back summons with all lyrics.
All ways looks like that fare. Heart longs, threatens to pieces.

I set back to trace all tunnels.
All tunnels that lead to paradise far forgone.
A Granny that gets all into her without funnel.
An uncle that treats all for one.

Journey that used to b an epic now concave. Rural that reminds paradise now like the hell forgone.
All I long to see now gone with the wave. Things are no more the way it used to be while we were one.
Kira is gone again,
Loose from his cage.
I don't understand how he manages it
But he squeezes himself between
Thin little bars
And enters the freedom of my bedroom
Time and time again.
I only catch him
With sweets and good luck.
He's a tiny little mouse,
Black and white speckled like a cow,
Such a sweet wee thing,
But much too adventurous for his own good.
I'm lucky he has a sweet tooth.
She looks at her reflection,
Everyday.
And everyday she finds something she wants to fix.

Scared that she might go back.
To eighty pounds ago.
Scared that losing eighty pounds wasn't enough.

She exercises,
Everyday.
And everyday she feels too tired to function.

Hoping that she might look "normal,"
A term that is so vague.
Hoping that one day she will feel okay with herself.

She stares at that mirror,
Everyday.
And everyday she wonders why she's like this.

Wondering why she can't feel comfortable,
With her own body.
Wondering why she isn't proud.

Because when she looks at that mirror,
She sees flaws she can't fix.
Everyday.
I know I used to feel like this because I had to work so hard to be a "normal" size.
I think it is really important to acknowledge your accomplishments that you have made for yourself and love yourself. Love everything about yourself even the little flaws.
How can you not see? Hello?
I am right here.
I feel like I have to scream for you to hear,
I could stand in front of you with a sign saying I love you and you wouldn't see.
You wouldn't see the hopelessness inside of me.
take my money from me

take my virginity

it’s lost at sea

along with all of my hopes

I want purity

something heavenly

cause I’m drownin’ now

and there’s no land to swim to

just some dark clouds

I don’t think I’ve ever screamed so loud

but sometimes the sun comes out

and I scream pretty loud
You,
You and those pale blue eyes of a full moon,
How I cannot stop thinking of you,
For some reason you've entered my mine like a scar on my body,
There is no erasing or forgetting,
I've locked you into my heart,
I cannot bear to think of letting go,
The infection has spread and I've been shot by cupid's bow,
But our fairytale is beginning to end,
You are not the once you I first met,
And I'm hurt and terribly mistaken I fell for a ruse,
A **** ruse of promise,
Now I'm alone and unsure of what I've gotten into,
A long summer ahead, of fear and unsurity of what next step I may have to take,
I don't wanna lose you, just win what I somehow lost,
I wanna whisper lost secrets in the edges of the night,
And look towards a morning of more you, The you I once knew,
Please make it all come back soon
It's here I sit, looking at beauty's start
Yet here, I laugh at my bewildered heart
Her eyes match that of starry skies
Feelings for her greater than family ties
If I lost this there will be a great demise
  
Set sail amongst troubled sea's ,this boat corroding
Against the oceans heaves, my will is being broken
For my words lack the skill of spoken
And this ship is going down, In lieu of a captain
Neither, took lead of this troubled vessel
My mission is now to end this situation deemed stressful
  
  
Now, to her I am god yet, strange and unfamiliar
To me, I am a goblin, beautiful and familiar
It's a shame I have to end this, Now the darkness begins to overcome her
I now live in a world of undetermined reality
I apologize for my obscenity and crassness
I lay her down to sleep, For I am a prisoner in this madness
I am the warden in this madness
I lost all sense of what is real
I gave up all sense of what is real
And now, I lay her down to sleep.
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