Gray sky light my way
Only way I know
Directionless in a tunnel-vision world of straight and narrow,
I'll never pretend to know who I am
but sometimes I wish I had better clues

My first love was so pure
We are all so toxic and broken now
Nothing will ever be so innocent and selfless again
15 and best friends, figuring out how to kiss

"to love is
to hurt,"
you whisper,
eyes red and
bones hollow;

ah,
whispers a
voice,
*but to hurt is
to be alive

I'm such a ******* idiOT
I want to be nothing
I want to be bone
I'm ******* tired, but
the clock is ticking so fast

I'm not sure I believe in love anymore
but I've been getting the best oral of my life from a guy who sings me songs at night.
I feel selfish for meeting a kind soul at such an interesting time
(I'm not sure I believe in kind souls either)
I can too quickly drop love
And forget what it was to feel anything at all
(Did i feel anything at all?)
I felt too much
Every time.
And feeling too much will come again, and then I'll realize I feel nothing in the end.

I think I'm too empty to properly deal with this heartbreak
i'll take it for now because I'm sure a lack of feeling helps
(it's 4:17am, i feel nothing)
just heaviness behind my eyes, weight on my shoulders
I should lose a few pounds,
feel lighter
feel anything

i thought i'd have more to write about this
but i've got nothing
this whole summer i've been nothing

if anything makes it to autumn,
please let my plants live