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fdg Sep 2015
today i dreamed that you were ******* me
and then i fell back asleep and dreamed i was ******* myself
and this girl down the hall was saying "it was just middle school"
as everyone looked at her scars and I was thinking
wow I'm glad I thought it through and only cut myself on my legs and hips because who would want the attention of ******* wrists
and it really was just in the past,
then this girl named maria tried to relate saying oh her boyfriend accidentally cut himself when he was drunk trying to cut pizza
so the blonde one said, "that's not really the same thing"
and I continued sitting on the floor, thinking
who the **** are these people
thinking her scars seemed awfully small, does she ever feel embarrassed that they're not bigger,
thinking wow why did I think that, that's not appropriate at all
but if they were on her wrist anyway-
and self-harm isn't cutting pizza
or comparable with scar size
self-harm is just the embarrassing middle-school *******
we're stuck living with
and when you can't see the scars,
it's still in the back of your head when the girl with the big glasses says, "wow that's so sad"
and the girl says,
"no it's okay, it was all in the past."
fdg Sep 2015
Every time I think of making decisions,
I try very hard to think
What would I choose if there was no you?
Where would I go if I was alone?
But
sometimes I truly believe you could push me to go so much farther than I ever thought I'd reach
And working together doesn't scare me
fdg Sep 2015
Truth is,
I'll say I want to lose weight so I'll eat less tomorrow
But I spent all day today feeling especially more bloated than usual after eating half of lunch, and the rest of the day I felt full.
So now I'm laying in bed at 1:43am and my stomach hurts and it's grumbling? Maybe digesting? Maybe I'm hungry and I can never decide if going to bed hungry is a success or a failure in my mind currently
But I know what it should be
fdg Sep 2015
Since I only write love poems,
This ones about the way he said he could see me for the rest of his life and wouldn't consider it a bad one.
I don't remember what I ever say back, exactly
All I know is that it's 1:30am, I've got an 8am tomorrow and I can't sleep because I'm too busy enjoying my daydreams thinking of all the things I could enjoy with you
fdg Sep 2015
There are a few things that I don't care about in life and some of them are:
-why you're a vegetarian or vegan
-who my boyfriend is following on social media
-if people hold the door for me

I do care whether or not people respect your dietary preferences
If people think their girlfriends can't know who they're following on social media
And if people slam the door in my face
fdg Sep 2015
I am surrounded by love
(which sometimes I mistakenly forget)
and I am full of it
and have plenty to give to others and myself.
Everything else is an over-exaggeration.
Because even if there was seemingly no love around me
I've still got me

so I should always remember
that it is impossible
not to feel loved

because it is always there
fdg Sep 2015
Don't worry about me
When I write,
I usually just need sleep
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