Sometimes life goes by slowly
but sometimes when the music is playing and the car is parked
and the rain is bouncing off the windshield
giving us a background hum that reminds us that we're on planet earth
(so I don't drift too far into the air)
sometimes life goes by fast
and there isn't enough time to get in all of the things I'd like to say
(I also don't know how to say them)
and you gently press me against the passenger seat
and even though time stands still in these moments,
sometimes life goes by fast.

I'm never really sure about anything at all
and this might not be a poem
and I might have never even learned what poetry is
but I think I write my life across a stage every time I dance
and I have wiped more tears across my face with every grand jete
just trying to pick up all of my pieces
that I shattered myself
because when I was still just a girl
I thought it was fun to take a hammer to my skin and bones
(and sometimes it still is)

i hear a ghost train
and i am paranoid of the past, sometimes
that it will haunt you and i and everyone

but right now i'm not thinking too far back
only far enough to think of a picnic table
where we sat and watched the sun shine through the trees
but after a while, i ended up instead admiring your eyes
(and your lips)
(and your smile)

it is 3:49 am
and i am awake
because i slept all day
because i was awake all night
because you were there,
your lips on mine

I need you to know
that I no longer write about you.

i just want a black bikini and the sun
right now i don't want anything
or anyone
else

but never ever think that I can't take care of myself
because I don't need any ******* help
from anyone
ever.
And trust me,
you may have known me then
but every part of me has changed