I found the perfect life partner and to my surprise, I've only written a few sappy cringe love poems about him because I get to live the love poem out loud every day of my life
It's almost been 4 years of loving this man,
and from day one, I've never been more sure about anything:
this is the purest, best love that is so good I thought it was only fake
until I found it.
there is no perfect set of words
just a crawling smile on my face every time I think of his name.
to love so nicely, and to be loved so incredibly in return is life's greatest wonder
how did I find this love that comes with no complications?
"how?" every day, but it's a question you shake off because you don't need to ponder it for too long, before you know it you're just 3 hours into a new conversation, legs touching while sitting on the couch, a glance over while you work next to each other separately, head thrown back in laughter as you share a bath in the tub, running errands together happily getting ketchup for your fridge, holding hands as you wait in line at the doctor, playing with his hair as he rests and he smiles in his sleep, just constantly in wonder, in awe, in love

You tell me what you think
I'll stare back, maybe nod my head
I am older and still not wiser,
I crave less and less but want more
Most things seem unattainable - is this where it starts?
Is this growing up and losing hope? Has reality finally set in and I've realized that in order for a dream to come true, you have to first fully realize what that dream actually is, and it has to be so specific that you can taste it before it's even accomplished?
At 25, I'm unsure I ever really knew how to dream, then
All of my desires are so vague, maybe I've convinced myself they're more likely to happen that way

is there something to be said about this?
letting it out, but only quietly
only in secret
speaking into the void so no one hears me thinking
i think it'd be embarrassing, having everyone see you mutter words, you chose those words, you structured them that way, and you want the world to listen to them, lacking composure?
i think it'd be embarrassing.
But instead i prefer vague public interpretation, you tell me what you think i'm thinking, does this arm movement tell you what i am craving, does this ****** shaking show you that i am not content, does me on stage twirling around for a paying audience make this crystal clear?
I'd never tell you what i was thinking, but here's a little summary, take it how you want and judge me for it.

I'm 24 but haven't thought much about it yet.
Still poor and unsure.
Sometimes bored and unmotivated.
Sometimes inspired, consuming media and art and thinking, wow, how do humans really create this? I feel like I could create something good someday...but will I ever have the money, will I ever dedicate the time needed to fulfill the potential that I feel I have?
If not, hopefully i have fun regardless...is that more important? Is that more successful?
Anyway.
I'm 24 and disconnected.

staying up late to feel my teeth crumble under the sugar in this wine
watching scary things on the television wondering why in the dark, I think the shadows might be out to get me.
I dont know what I think they are or why they scare me. Do they even scare me?
Left unfinished, playing in the background, the scary tv shows become my night light so i dont have to think about the shadows in the dark

Red tinted teeth
Stained nicotine
I am so comfortable alone, but only after I've checked each closet for monsters

Sink into the middle of the mattress
Slight buzz of the air conditioning still on
I miss everything so much
Every experience I've had, every person I've known
Maybe I'm too soft for this world, for the human condition
One day I might afford therapy instead of ******* hellopoetry
But thank you all for watching me grow up.
..if you're still alive over there, on the other side of this one sided 4am recurring chaotic conversation I've been having for years