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My shadow seems to follow me.
I catch it everywhere.
I can't seem to loose it.
I swear upon the book of common prayer.
I found it once behind me.
Our twisted love affair.
It seems to chase my actions.
Distant like the great Altair.
Yet close oh so many times,
With such pernicious debonair.
A fly, aware of possibilities
beyond the picture window,
taps incessantly on the glass
but cannot reach them.
The older I become the more
I feel like a miserable fly
at an impossible window. How
unfair it is, this aging process,
this melting down of tissue and
disintegration of bone and sinew,
this deterioration, cell by cell;
this loss of vigor and ambition.

--
and such is the love
fearless fearless fearless!
.
dance
the harmony!
.
run boy!
.
mountains !
strength!
(she is here!)
--------
nourish
be nourished
such is love
Two boys
and girls
unclothed each other
simply at a picnic
flush with wine
alongside
sun-flecked trees.

The girls,
easy as the
forest round,
burned,
delicious,
as the boys
eager and nervous
in unequal measure
partly gave up
concealing
their joys
at forgetting
or remembering
in flickers
their bare bodies.

It went on
over nettles
and half-hours
and clambered
trees and
photos taken
almost formally
(on film,
of course).

And boyish lust,
at first sinuous,
a darting tongue,
began to
soften against,
for instance,
the sheer,
unthinkable
texture
of the two
girls carved
now backward
over the bough
of a storm-felled elm.

And there
in the embers
of evening
they learned
to thrill originally
at the vast,
gorgeous
and astonishing
irrelevance
of what
might happen next.
The world isn’t 
black and white.
You react like it’s 
this or that,
right or wrong,
me or you,
one way 
or not at all.
Break reality.
Come down
and you’ll realize
that between 
black and white
there are colors never seen.
Let me rub them
on your skin.
It may feel cold at first,
but once you get used to it
you can spread your
new found language
on me.
Finger paint 
this revelation
on my soul.
Each day she grows stronger.

All physical functions
require acute concentration
unwavering vigilance.

Her invisible shackle's bind me.

Tornadoes my conscience
weakens muscles, bruises skin
Splinters the soul.

Her outstanding weapon?
Relentless emotional chaos!
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