Dear Daddy,
you found out mommy was pregnant. you told her how happy you was and how you would always be there. you said that you was excited and loved us both, you said you couldn’t wait until you finally got to meet me.
i can’t wait to meet you either Daddy!

Dear Daddy,
i heard mommy crying and really upset.
she said something about another women.
she said she hated you.
but don’t worry I’m still here
i can’t wait to meet you Daddy!

Dear Daddy,
i was just born, you gave my soul a look that said you would always be there
you helped mommy give me a name!
Mollee Ann Langemkamp
wow today was great.
I finally got to meet you Daddy!

Dear daddy,
im a day old and you already are mad at mommy infront of me.
i can’t see you but i can hear your anger.. i can feel your anger
Mommy gave me a have a new name
Mollee Ann Nelson
I guess we will have to meet again Daddy!

Dear Daddy,
i can remember you and mommy fighting over me.
you dragged her down the driveway while she was in the car.
my brother drove after us.
he wanted to **** you
your lucky i looked over my shoulder to stop him.
Because if i didn't.. then Bubby said you would have met god...

Dear Daddy,
its christmas and boy am i excited.
I’m five and begged Mommy for this new dress.
i hope you come this time.
this time i have a good feeling.
maybe ill get to see you and meet your new girlfriend!

Dear Daddy,
its christmas again.
I’m six.
you called.
but you didn’t show.

Dear Dad,
you have been missing a lot of visits
i don’t know why
i cry a lot over you
why aren’t you here..
Did i do something dad..

dear dad,
im 10.
you called mommy asking why she was trying to put you in jail.
you got mad so you ended the call
you called back
i think it was the first time i heard your voice in almost a year.
the first words you said to me were “hey brat how old are you now?”
brat.. rung in my ears..

Dear Chris,
i haven’t heard from in you in two years.
im 12
you fought to get custody of me
the judge didn’t allow it but he let you visit
five hours max
i cancelled a lot
so did you

Dear Chris,
its been four years
i can barely remember what you sound like

dear ***** donor,
you contacted me the morning of my 18th birthday
i went off
you tried to make me feel bad
i didn’t give a ****

I was given someone who decided they would no longer care. They would bail out before i could correctly form words into sentences. I was given a father who as barely even a stranger in my life.
But i was also given a brother who made my life much different..

dear Bubby,
You found out mom was pregnant.
Boy was that a shocker huh, 20 years apart from you will be fun!!!!
I can't wait to meet you!

Dear Bubby,
You was there to help mom when she was crying about Daddy and a woman.
Wow i can tell your going to be a great brother!
I can't wait to meet you!

Dear Bubby,
You was there when i was born.
you were so excited to meet me.
You told mom she was making a mistake by letting me take my fathers last name.
You and him meet with a lady to fix the problem.

Dear Bubby,
Mollee Ann Nelson
Our last name
Wow Bubby i think its so cool you helped mom
Its like meeting a whole new me

Dear Bubby,
Mom fell out of the car when Daddy was backing out of the drive way.
You were really mad.
You told Daddy he was going to meet god.

Dear Bubby,
I know you want me to spend christmas with our family but Its Daddys turn to have me.
Boy am i excited
Im five and i begged mommy for that new velvet dress you like so much.
I have a good feeling Daddy will come this time.
Im supposed to meet his girlfriend but you seem unamused.

Dear Bubby,
Its christmas again.
Im six and you cuddle me while i sob because daddy didn't show...again
You called saying i would have a new sister to meet.. Thats a good gift i guess..

Dear Bubby,
Every visit he missed you were there..
You held me close and told me it wasn't my fault..
You knew he was braking my heart
You knew you would meet a different person.

Dear Bubby,
Do you remember how angry i was when he hung up.
When i questioned why he didn't want to talk to me?
But don't worry he called me back.
He didn't even remember how old i was..
Its like we were meeting at a reunion..

Dear Bubby,
We were both confused when he tried to get custody of me back.
We laughed and the judge must have too.
He was allowed five hours max
I cancelled on you because i was in power to do so.
Your meets will have to wait

Dear Bubby,
I don't remember what he even sounds like..
Do you?

Dear Bubby,
I remember how happy you were for me when i was finally able to tell my ***** donor how i felt about him.
To bad it had to wait until i was 18 huh!

I wish I wasn't wishing for you to be mine but for you to come over.

I wish I wasn't wishing for you to finally say you are ready but for you to say you love me.

I wish I wasn't wishing to run into you somewhere because i miss you but running into your arms for a long hug.

I wish I wasn't wishing for you to open your eyes to see me but waiting for you to wake up after a nap together.

I wish I wasn't wishing for you but you wishing for me.

I wish I wasn't wishing for it to start,
But instead wishing it would never end.

I liked you and hoped for the best for us
its like you fit me perfectly
and i felt on top of the world when you spoke to me
but you knocked me down like it was nothing
i really felt something with you
i felt that connection
but here i am again broken and lost
why did i have to trust your love

I remember when I smiled as you looked down at me tracing  the pout in my lower lip.

I remember when you kissed me for the first time, it was so soft and sweet. I felt the electric pool swimming around us, drawling us together.

I remember every time when you would hold my hand in public i would get butterflies and think how no one compared to you and me.

I remember the time you broke my heart.

I remember when you didn't talk to me for days with no sign as to why you were treating me the way you were.

I remember when you dated the girl you said i didn't have to worry about.

I remember when you guys broke up.

I remember when you wanted me back.

I remembered how much i still loved you.

I remember taking you back.

I remember that being a mistake.

I remembered...

I was forced
I needed help.
I couldn't stop it.
I needed help.
I had a gun to my head.
I needed help.
I screamed as loud as i could.
I NEEDED HELP.

But no one believed me.
No one believed me cause i was a boy.
She held a gun to my head.
She threatened to **** me as she cocked back her pistol.
She gave me a choose.
die or be *****.

Have you ever looked into the sky and thought your not the only one.
Utterly impossible for you to be alone in the universe right?
Maybe something is out there, but we can't see it.
Another life. Another thing
Nothings impossible right?
Something so different from us but yet exactly the same?

And what if we find out there is something out there.
Really. Something that would astonish us to our last breath.
Everything would change. Right?

Absolute shock would take this planet and crush it.
Lives would go on with fear of invasion.
Is it fair for us to do the same? To go and change the way things are.
Eventually we would have to be ok. We would just forget.
Notorious known, we would be unfavorable, we would be aliens.
S**tep out of the blindness you're in, and see them around you.