you can judge me for bleeding a different shade of red
but I'd rather you not see my blood at all
I know it's in your nature
to dig under my skin
but please just this once
let me bleed on my own
so that soon enough I won't have to anymore

It wasn't just losing the love of my life
it's losing half of my heart
and it's losing my mind
it's losing my best friend
it's losing myself

Please be here when I wake up
because if you aren't
I'd really rather
not wake up at all.

please continue to wonder
why I'm slowly disappearing.

and ask me again why
my knuckles bleed from
tooth sized cuts

but don't forget
to hide the fact that
you know exactly what I'm doing,

you just know I'm too far gone
to be worth your help.

i keep thinking
of the would ofs
and should ofs
of what
we would of
and should of
had,
but i know
that none of those things
would have happened
because i'm too distracted
by the illusion
of what we could of had.

                     (s.a.z)

My special blanket
It covers my mind

I'm used to my blanket
Like a small child I carry it everywhere

My mind is a dark place
But my blanket makes it not too bad

There was a time it wasn't there
& it was a nice break

But that was just a break
A holiday

Time to get back to work
My blankets in charge

It tells me when to eat, never
It tells me when to sleep, all the time

My blanket used to give me breathing room
But now, its suffocating me

My blankets choking me
& I've stop struggling

My mind has put the blanket in total control
I shut down

I push everyone away
Even the boy I love

I know it kills him
To see me this way

But my blankets my minds dictator
It calls the shots

I love you, I promise
But this blanket will **** me in the end

Like a blanket of snow
My depression covers me

& I've let it win