She’s never quite left you. I can see it in your eyes. Ever since the second she took her last conscious breath and you left her to die. Not one second of the life you live will ever be truly happy again. Her beauty buried alive in your mind and you carry it like sin.

I speak energy... your soul tells me a story before you even look at me.

I’m a cry beast. I take on the pain of others to open wounds to feel heal, seal and gain insight.
Let it stir up my insides, cry about it, start a fight.

My tolerance is worn out by ignorance but I know anything that Erks me is apart on me. A reflection of a person I used to be.. a world so twisted people just want to use you then loose you.

I will stand alone until I know...we stand as ☝️

Breathing you, in hopes of filling the holes of past hurts untold and unknown to the eyes of a new lover.

Here I am dressed in every color eyes sparkling no make up to hide my expression as I play lightly on the surface. Fun is all you see. I charm I giggle and my claws start to creep for I feel starved for true affection. But I can only give what I have been given a book of pictures of what could be. Wounds so deep no ones diving in with me. I must brave up the courage to let you be so I can fix me and not send another running.

I rise to the beat of my own heart. My truth will be spoken even if my voice shakes. I will never bend or conform this inner bond. I am not just full, I am over flowing. I want to connect to be understood and be loved funny how I find this with strangers over loved ones. I will never be slave to your system of beliefs and I truly grasp your hate for me friend. Hate is love anyway so what's the use in getting all bent out of shape. Its just passion retracted and projected on a reflection of self.

Gone. Gone.

He is Gone. Been gone.

Gone.

For quite sometime.

Oh how I miss my green eyes.
my green eyes.
That saw me so fine.
How shinny I shine in your greeneyes.

Fire burn so bright in, greeneyes.

Shake me up. Rattle my insides.
Make be remember where my passion is.
Forever I feel all of you as mine
All of you. All the time.
Had me loosing my mind
_____


You spoke words I never heard.
cut me to the core: had me always wanting more.

I put my self in the best place to be used and push away but I swayed so I guess it has to be this way.

Hearts became one that day, you know. You felt what words can never display with what we felt beyond touch. It melts me awake each and every day. I love you to the change in me this way. Fire is lite my lovin..

Sometimes a lesson replays to allow us to gain what we missed for the millionth time we decided to remain in that perspective that drove us insane again and again with him on the brain. All though my thoughts are conveyed some other way from what he would say. I feel it all. Energy doesn't always just go away. I see you with all senses without you in sight. I hear all that your lips feared to speak. My force of fate landed on your plate but your palent just couldnt take the taste that with never dissipate

It can be quick or slow
But Onion Peels got me ready to flow.

I write to read what emotion I live in my path. Who I am. whats been acomplised. It's all just perseption you know.

I a free moving soul. Dancing on a 70 degress breeze, moving through galexies. While my feet sink deeply into roots. I am all of this on my own two feet you are just as I living your peace. Love and hate swirling to mate. But can never be one. So they create friction that sparks dust fate. We are but star dust seeking its source. Forever living in cycles of form because our minds can't concieve being al(l)one.

Truth is they haven't got a chance. So why play the game. My heart sealed the day it sang from kiss filled lips. Now left with the pain, the desire drove me insane and back again. But never have I felt so full and alive. We started this ride that seems to have no end living in the fear of lies at the drops. Highs got us feeling on top we need no physical human interaction. Our love goes beyond what our minds comprehend leading back to the fear of what we don't know. Feeling the need to hide so no one knows how vulnerable we are in our divinity.  But we have much to learn for all that we are is our strength, beating in our chest and once we find whats right we will be off this ride and on to the next..

In this place between words and silence. Sight and Faith. Closest to my heart are those who are true. This world breeds lies and people who point fingers and deny their own truth. The ones who appeal to my soul aren't slaves to this place and are willing to fight with every ounce of love and grace. As much as I wish I could jump to my feet and take on this demon who keeps nudging for my fate. I will grow easy into my place and collect all that it takes to build the strength its going to take to face the pain and heal wounds. Each life has its own things to recover so we can evolve from hurt and hate to joy and love. So as I work at being my truest version and moving forward taking out what lays beneath... I'll know my place when my reflection is whole with lots more creativity to unfold...

Ha No body Cares. Just sayin. It's all about you. Take it or leave it fool flushed *****... If they bring you down, leave'um, if they bring you up conceive them.. but move on. Stagnace, is debilitating...just branch out and grow. You wanna stay the same fine, peace be with your soul. I'm getting mine fast or slow. Each person I meet plays an important roll. I honor that because I love me and whatever I attract  or detest says something.. speaks volume in this life of misfired garbage. I'm here and now. I want the simple finer things. But your all hung up on these deformed ideals...getting wasted away like zombies.. Is it Armageddon? The end of the world where you choose to eat the shinny fruit, cause your all *******. Don't wanna get your hands ***** so you eat of a mans filthy riches.. and in the parameters of the English language I've got run in sentences... And whatever else stumps you from the truth. **** structure **** taught belief.. **** ***** for ***** sake.. forget word and spoken reason. Words are discrimination. Words can't even touch true evolution. But we all try so hard to make them work... And I'm done you silly *** folk. I stay silent and a loaf since the rest of the word is just living to stay a float.

POST

I do. I get it now. All I dislike in you, I have too and all I love of you is in me. The place where I stand is all I have dreamed. Bits and pieces of nightmares to bring flares to awaken me. In pain, in joy, in suffering to bring this perfect me to this reality. My journey isn't yours but you've played a part. Everyone I have ever met I have learned from and they have taken from me. For so long I felt I was missing, broken, and confused until the right mirror reflected my flame that had be suppressed and oh so tame. With this enlightening I was exhausted. For ever lifted and connected feeling my cord through my chest reaching through the stars.

He found me in my tree
Fearlessly climbed to me.

His eyes opened wide
A little shy I hide.

Nerves make me ramble
As I speak my souls preamble

His stories calm my waves
In day light we sit and gaze.

I impress you sounds just right.
The end of the tunnel is so bright.

I can see you want me close.
I hesitate to uphold my pose.

Too many have played this role.
So I'll wait before I unfold

I came to you in my dream last night
still wanted nothing to do with me. Thought if I met you there I could have you the way I always wanted to..
but my dreams reflected the reality
my imagination ran out.

So I said forget you finally
and took a flight through the clouds.

I was thinking you were the love in me but it was the other way around.

Now all that's left of you is a spineless slimy shell. A coward is a person to awaken the love in another with no intention of loving her.

Still grateful for the spark that made me realize I am the love in me
forever swimming
in the glorious river of eternity

and your lost scooping crumbs of what I left behind.. but even the crumbs need love and maybe that's your role. Wishing you all the best my not so friend after all."

  I am filled with all from above and I thank GOD I am WHOLE. So blessed the obsession is gone.

Healing is only found in Pain.

Pain is found in hidden Truth.

Truth is our Fears brought to Light.

Light can't shine without being Bright.

Bright is only the contrast of Night,

Night is in darkness without Moonlight.

Moonlight is what moves me to See,

See to believe is just a lie.

Lies hinder Healing so the Cycles never Die.

Die to be reborn.

61 poems in 16 months

6+1=7     1+6=7   7+7=14

1+4=5

5 is my soul # so I'm exactly where I need to be.
Numbers have a frequency... freaky.

They say time heals all wounds but absence makes the heart grow founder..

**** what they say. Who are they anyway.

How about my heart says its never over and my heart begs my head to find logic in this lifeless love affair. Ego crushed as I stand forever bare. Words just floating in the empty air. My name on your lips cutting all despair still you are not there... but I feel you as if you always were.

I wear your scent like purfume
When i sweat i sweat you

I basque in your energy
Its all i am and want to be

I breathed you in to last an eternity
Although alone phycically

I see me through your eyes
Vivatious and whole

Such beauty to unfold but your scared to death of me.

Now that Ive seen magic I can never go back..

Our hearts beat as one.. spirits meet in the stars. Its more then chemisry. Way bigger than you and me.

When I miss you I breath in deep and pull back memories of between the sheets. When my soul was set free from body and our energies collide creating a light show in the sky  breaking all logic and time.

Forever lovers in moments;
living in thoughts and memories
of what feels like seconds in time.

Hearts left raw and open wide
Changed perception of mind
Sight now filtered through a third eye.

Birds of a feather, flying high.
Leaving each other on the side lines.

The wanting and wonder try to take me under.
But above I rise, no more fear aloud inside.

On this path I started with natural fright.

Now the Fire burns bright: I can't stand the sight.

I have found the inner river of life.

So I breath..  release... and heal with ease.

Months and Days
The tears came no filter
Laying bare in bed
Saying, never again.

I gave a collector the keys
Blindly with no thought

Crushes me from within
As he licks the ***
Now forever filled with beauty
And darkness.

Was that your duty
To dazel use me.
Tender are my thoughts of you
Wrapped in painful pleasure

Left pondering possibilities of love after heartaches. Once I fully understand my lustful experiences are only a hinderance a misguided act of ****** instinces... It will be over. I am a lover. I take *** appeal to another level Cause I just want to feel what they feel or what I perceive is felt but then I wrap it up in fluff and silly stuff to fit in with what this world calls love.

I'm out of my mind, I like to rhyme. Living in this body making the best of my time. I chase what propels my heart to race. So my soul has space to reach beyond my heights. What you see is only a shell of the beauty that's coming with lights so bright. Dancing in the shadows of the moon. I am a flower continually in bloom.

I'm never getting over it.. everyday just trying to except it. My feelings run deep. your beyond that.. out of sight out mind. Waves of energy crashing into me.. You may not know or even feel but to me there is nothing more real. I was made to love you endlessly like the ocean loves the sand and maybe we just aren't meant to stand. Every living piece of me worships you... worships me for this new life. If that's all you are I'll let it be... but no one will ever take your place you'll forever be.

Snuggle me don't let me go. Let me stay and make a home. Rest my head in your chest. Legs intertwined. Blinded from the world outside. I'll close my eyes and squeeze you tight in that moment I can rest in delight. Away from faces, voices, and pain. I'll hide myself securely in your bodies frame. And when I'm rested and recuperated from the weight of this place we can rome like children with everything to gain and fall in love with the stars that made us Aline and shine side by side in this promising life waiting to be defined...

I've conducted myself as you secretly know that we are one.. I'm a silly girl for letting it leak, seep, explode out of me pieces at a time. To a person who is all primal and ego driven. Soul so lost inside a parasites mind. My heart I've sent out to you only to find it in a pile of mush all twisted up. For you have no love for my divine vessel of pure everlasting energy. I live while you die. I thank you repeatedly for what you can not seen has been freely given to me. Goodbye for the last time lost love is a lie my love is never ending but I'll try.

Just like all the other bad habits you appear just when I thought I was in the clear.

Now face to face with drinks between
Mind flooded with images from past lustful mornings and sleepless nights

I cut you to the core was a pick up line
You'd leave me on the floor waiting to die after you ****** sweet nector so you could servive.

Another vampire you are, disguised
Your victims have no chance because you wrap yourself in women's light.

You are the same as all the others in past lives. You got your piece.. I feel it missing from me. But as you float on ******* life to live. I create it so Peace. You make me sick.

Mirror flip. Enough said. :(

In my fantasy world
I asked for you to appear

In reality you showed up
Filled with delight

The words still refuse to come out right
We know I'm a bit crazy..

CrAckling of electricity the world goes quite, my cheeks turn red, oh the pleasure and the pain of your presence.

As I stand strong and vulnerable... Open and raw from our last encounter
Still I love you the same..

So I push forward into the fourth demention so that I can grab a hold of you. Shake your psyche so you could feel the urgency my soul craves us to be.

But I know if it's meant to be it will be.. And all my dreams and thoughts bring you no closer. I must let you be free so you heart can decide where it's meant to be.

Truth is I barely even know you as a human. My visions of you are of a life we lived or a dream of what could've been.

Truth is you never really showed an interest. I pushed forward because in your eyes I felt a blissful urge to be physically one.

Truth is your pressence indused my soul to come bursting into life. A fire got lit and forever burns bright.

Something about the recongonition of your essistsnce has forever changed my sight. I am forever grateful for your part in my life. I thanked you with my body but all it left me with was a quest for more. I could OD on the thought of you and the passion that follows.. Nothing can change that now. But it's done because somehow this feeling wasn't reciprocated and I feel silly now. I say this out loud so I can see how crazy this last year has been. I am only becoming all of me. You were a link to progression, a lesson in this section, a piece of the picture, a glimpse in an unseen mirror. When someone truly touches my soul I have a hard time letting go.. So I'll just grow old forever loving your soul. Appreciating what you showed me in myself. The true beauty and ambition. The spark that brings the world to life.. Forever in me is you. Is Me. Is everyone honestly but my favorite is in crazy green sea..

It's no wonder I get drunk sometimes this reality *****.. Some days I rather swim in a bottle with my delusions and forget all the pain that's come from being insane. My struggles are internal never ending battle the ying and the yang make sense to me now. Doesn't change what's behind and in front of me though. It's the here and the now that's got me spinning around. Angles and perception got me dropping my crown.. of ego. Flesh is in torment of what I'm depriving it now. My souls to great for this body to be locked down. Minds conditioned in the way of the world, body follows suit.. These chains continue to drop leaving me open and raw to the reality of my destiny and I know it just comes down to me. Can I live up to what my souls meant to be or will fall to the heals of the heeping herd of sheep. Stampeding through life without a conscious clue of what they do. Pointing fingers never taking blame. Living on the surface. Worshiping the fame. Doing what their told. Believing what they read. Letting the master plan unfold with ease. It's pathetic and sad.. My only truth is in my heart so I'll just let it bleed if that's what needs to be. Buh bye to that bottle it's only brought me grief.. Live and let love Peace.love and Harmony xo thanks for the read.

Living amongst the walking dead.
****** cold black eyes.
Roaming through life
hands ****** with no alibi.
Sickness swarms like butterfly's
in a open sky of lies.
All we know and are taught
are the twisted plans of the elite man.
As they twiddle their thumbs and watch the madness unfold of his thoughts untold coming to light but who actually knows. The hate it took to make this country. America the debt we never wanted the void that can never be paid. Even us in the know choose to be part of the demise flooding our minds and bodies with poison and suppressing the soul. Feeding the flesh not giving a **** about the rest. As we awaken may our own steps be all that we question.

Fluke
DECEMBER 20 · ONLY ME
I miss you. It must go unsaid.
I want you. The thought you must dread.
I hurt you. I feel it. I couldn't wait. I put you in a place you didn't want to be.
I hurt me. I said it. The natural flow of what could have been. Is behind me.
No light shines brighter. No soul brings fire. No touch moves me inside. No eyes charm harder. No truth seems truer.
The feeling of utter bliss. When the birds sing. Bodies collide. Breathing you in so I can keep you. I could shower in your scent.
No one has done what you've done to me. I want to hate you. But it was all my fault.
the crazy one. Yes I am to blame. **** me for eating the cake. Just as Eve tasted her apple. Forbidden fruit.
It was you who was forbidden fruit. The dying urge to taste you just wouldn't subside. So I sneaked and I lyed and I fought for my moments. Because in them is all I was and I couldn't watch another pass me by. I seized love locked in time for ever in my heart. I know when you said I was just *** you lied. You had to push me aside. I feel you. You know it. I remeber your words.. I lived by them. They tare me up but keep popping into my mind. I cut you to the core. Your eyes bring back lifetimes of heartbrake and soul shaking love. Come to me my runner. My bride. I just want to shower you with love will everything that I am. No one else will do.

So in love with my reflection in your eyes makes me feel like I'm stuck up on cloud nine.

The energy that flows between us is electric. Burning in the deep blue, my soul feeling like this is all that's true. Everything else could be an optical illusion. When our eyes meet the room goes silent and starts to spin as if we have been meeting just this way for centuries. I see you **** beyond your physical body. I read your waves for days with no words able to explain what your existence has awakened.
My Muse. My Love. I wait.

Who am I

I loose sight to often in this life.

Caught up in past lives
Feelings and Soul ties.

Giving my mind more to ponder inside.
Twists and turns thoughts go leaping astray

Living in the moment is light years away.

Until awoken to the words I hear myself..

TBC

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Sometimes I want to crawl out of my own skin. My body craves what my soul tries to cleanse. I can be my own worst enemy. It's like a team of destruction in my head the best thing I can do is go to bed. My mind can't keep up with the knowledge that it's feed. My understanding is based on a sensory and pretty much it's how you adapt to me...
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Lines.
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                       •Rhymes•Drop•
                               •Beats•
                        •Music•Energy•
                  ­          •Creativity•

Finished from the first kiss.
I pushed. I chased. I lost.

I feel the future in my bones.
Love. Swarming LOVE.

I dance in the thought..
I whistle the Song. I want.

The crushing never stops when the thoughts of past paths cross with the sad secure truth. In an instant the pain so real of what I let you steal. I defied natural grace just to have a taste of what blew up in my face. Now I see you still attract the beauty and I all that I want dead to me. I know what's needed to change the coarse of my faint. If I just trust in that small still voice I am safe.

This is not a dis on the needy but possibly a moment of truth for the greedy.

It's always the same ones with their hand out. Relationship hopping to **** you dry of life now.

Don't give those vampires a taste of your blood. Greedy mother *******. Giving back to no one.

Invest your time in the ones who love. Who bring out the sun and remind you, Your blessed with the warmth from above.

You can't save the ones who choose hell. It's their story to unfold and their future to tell.

I'm done going with the grain.
With all the shame I've put on my name. I've got no one to blame. So I'm breaking free from the pain.

Every days a new start to evolve and grow. Mistakes happen so we don't keep slipping on that same *****.

People take advantage of a good loving heart. Don't stop loving , but pull yourself apart.

Find the rare kind of person who loves to love and make that your reflection.

I want to romance you like I've tried before. You want nothing to do with everything more.

I let you in fully aware of your only aim. I thought that was your game.

I felt you saw me the way I saw you you. Beyond body, past words, through my eyes we danced.

So

The cool breeze. Sets in.
Fluttering leaves. Help me See.

Chest filled with Warmth.
Eyes craving new sites.

Swarming thoughts.
Like bee's around a common yarrow.

My dream filled Soul.
Won't stop nudging. Tick Tock

The Clock spins quickly.
No more time wasted on a wanna be.

Feet move in the Only direction.
Life is here to be tasted, felt, and Seen.
To be Heard.

New flavors, feelings, sites, and sounds.
Await, Like Songs to be sung from a birds air filled lungs.

Sweet sweet Sun. Show me my home.
Take me away. Onto that Road.

Leaving the dust brimming wind behind me.
You see. We know not what time has for us.

What will your duration be in the monotony.
Stretching to new heights. Taking a leap in my reality.

Forget what was to build something bigger than us.
We are just a vessel of never ending love.

Humbly I come before you. With life times of love and loss. Blow my kisses to the warm sun and think of them touching you every time you look up. The fire still burns. Dim at times but that electric blue continues to get me through. I close my eyes I see you. Feel your smile. Hear you say my name. Oh lost love. In this moment nothing has changed.

You live in my poetry. What a lovely place to be...

What seems like worlds apart. Layers of reality.Time has no power. Bodies hold no form. We flow like the breeze and freeze in the sight. We know this feeling that's brought such frightening delight. We gaze with a charm and touch with passion. I Breath deep and speak. You just stay hush, because you are gone.

It would seem over night
The wind through my trees
At just the right speed.
I say GoodBye.

I can't seem to see you in that light.
Once I was determined to get close.
You held my face as far as your arms reach.
As all my love came pouring out to you.
You smile: You like it. You like me?

Smirk of pleasure: to see such a fool.
I blew your mind with the craziest mush fest.
Took you all wrong..
I can't speak for your soul, your heart, your mind.

I swear I felt you.. I still feel you in this heart of mine.
My soul will forever dance.
My mind will let you go.
For you are cold : Soul shrugged into a corner.

I wish you felt it when your soul met mine..
But you live in ego.. loosing track of time.
It was far beyond words. Thank You.

You sparked the flame that helped me ignite.

In the midst of the built up romance...

Deception

So real in my mind I warmed my heart with lies.

Perception.

Understand this to no end. Emotions are not a fact.
What you feel is not reality. Love is a matter of Tact.

What you see in others is just a reflection of you.
The beauty, the ugliness, in a vast sea of blue.

Still I am you and you are in me. From now until eternity.

When I think of you my heart opens wide.
When your eyes meet mine, I want to climb in and hide.