If you ever forget how much
You mean to me,
I'll mail a bouquet of thistles
To your doorstep so you
Remember my sting

I'll blow you kisses from my bedside
And end my prayers with "Oh God,"
Because sacrilege is the best medicine
For mediocrity

I've got my eyes on the sunrise
Meet me at the gate
And tell me I'm your yesterday

There's a nail in your skull
And you're pulling it free,
I can see
But it's not my place to help

Instead, I'll read mysteries in the café
By the waterside and wish you the best
With your boy trouble in the Golden State
But I really wish you'd
Ask me for advice one of these days

We're the bezel-born,
Birthed on the outskirts
Of all that's known to
The world that chewed us up and
Spat us out

I know my place,
Little angel,
And the time;
It's on the little silver band
On my wrist and
All you have to do is ask

I was born from snow and glacier
meltwater from the lands the sun
doesn't touch

I was born from blood and the ink
on the writs for a million ancient
creeds, lost to time

I was born on broken promises and
the dream that one day, California
will be mine

It's my American destiny to be haunted
by roadside attractions and to drink water
poisoned by my dog's dying howls

I dream of porcelain snowfall and moonlight
on your upper lip as we kiss for the last time
before you lay me to rest

I sing of a legacy forged in steel and stone, set for
our children to gaze upon, a great mausoleum
destined to fall to our greatest adversaries

But if my dreams don't come true?

Breathe me back to life

i'm wishing you well
and i want to tuck you in
but that honor remains
to your own hands

filthy ******* disgrace

this is my warm month
my brown month
my i'm so safe month

its time to say goodbye
to the earth and i'm a worthless lie
and it's everything to me
that i may die

huddle by the fire and sing old bible hymns
to me as i fall asleep
and the leaves outside are my lullaby
as i descend into my deep sleep
this november

I think I messed up again,
Father
And I come to you seeking answers
And I'm sorry that's all I ever ask for
But my mortality demands it
If I'm to remain sane

I start issues I can't resolve
And I know it's unfair to lay this all on you
But they told me this is what you're here for
So can we work on this together now
And go to trial later?

I'm on my one track mind
And all I can hear is the laughter
Of who I was twenty four hours ago

Can't give up now,
I tell myself
It's too early to lose faith in myself
But I'm all I got left

Except for, you know,
Everything else

That's the one I was talking about
When he broke your heart and your only escape was the keyboard?
I was listening
I'm being the best brother I can
But we've all got hiccups
And the choppy waters never end

The best we can do is to wait for
Landfall and hold onto hope until the world swallows us
Again and makes us into something new
But I see an awakening for you
In these coming months
So please, don't let go

I want to hear the waves crashing on the shore
When we crash into each other
Lost to the music
And I don't wanna come back

I feel the wind kiss my forehead
Like the sun never did
And now the clouds are here
It's more than I could ask for

I never did learn if you love the rain
Like I do
Or if you feel the rhythm
Like I do

Baby steps
Decades lost to time
I'm singing to the waves because
You never will

I'm so nervous, so tired
I want to walk with you on old leaves
And sing love songs to the quiet

I don't think we should stop this
You caught my eye when I first saw you
And I crave it now more than anything

I've lost myself
Once again

I think it's better this way
To swim and never once think
About surfacing for air

I think it's better this way to gather
Gold and never once think about
Its holy volume until it's all spent

Today I got a perfect marks on an
Examination I'd previously failed and I
Adore this illusion of second chances

I think we should all be afforded this luxury

I wrote of desert stones many months ago
and I lost my pen to the paper and
sacrificed my ink to the moon

Written with blood, this writ
sings of my dedications and
poems penned with names in mind

Unmeasurable love and adoration
beyond simple words, I feel more than my
body can handle

So please, stay here, and never
leave me to the night, for you are
my light and I am your shadow

I am too fearful to return to that
which birthed me

Blood on my hands and
I don't know who it belongs to
And it's not something I can
Easily return

Pull me from this arena

I can't stand to feel that sun anymore and
I can't help but tear myself apart for
Ruining their lives so many
Hours ago

Take me back in time
But I know this is not something
I can easily escape

I want to see the sun
Blinking through empty space
Unaltered by our atmosphere

I want to feel your skin
And your warmth on
A rainy Saturday

I don't know who you are
But I'll sing to the dark
And wait for you to answer

I can't help my itching despair
Tugging at me like an river
I'll deal with it someday

I want to hear your voice
When you talk in your sleep
Maybe later

I'm a raging retort
Burning air and searing flesh

I'm rough rainfall
In the dead of December
When it's too warm to snow

I'm a scarred navel
Touched by lips unknown

I'm a dog left outside
To rot in the Sierra sun

I'm a satellite gone rogue
Thrown off course by an
Unfamiliar gravity

Call me Telesto in that
Solar voice of yours
Pin me down
Against the stars

Give me up to younger worlds
Made of packed stone, rich with
Potential

The best I can do is watch
And fly
And wait for the day upon
Which you will finally devour me

I can kiss you back to life
Give me your hand
And I can pick you up again
But, oh
What strength lies in my bones?
Eliminated
Shot
Gone years long past
I'm weaker than I thought

Kiss me back to life
But we're both falling
Twirling in this dance of death
Ever-distant
Growing smaller

Give me your hand

I hear a voice in my ear on odd Sundays,
it tells me to set my temple on fire
and sing to the sky
when nobody else is near

It's my cookbook of old confessions that
makes me want to kick the wall
and throw in the towel on my
biggest ambition

Nobody deserves love, I found,
and I found it on the lips
of a lover

I hear a voice in my head on good Fridays,
it tells me to leave my heart to the wolves
and look at the ground
when people start to leer

Nobody's got a ******* heart,
I realized, 'cept for those who
have everything to lose

Sing me that four five eight
and fold open my book
and read me till I touch the sky
and blame it all on you

Lock and load, shut the door and
hide the guns

We're gonna to wait this one out

Baby, I do
Hold me when the lights go out
Kiss me when our ears bleed
Show your battle scars;
It's time we feel something new

There's blood on your breath
and ice in your heart
and I hate to see you fall apart
but life is born from death
and this is only the beginning

We're gonna wait this one out

I got my hopes up again, friend;
I prayed to the wind and it went quiet

Left me in the dust again
and I don't know if I can
pick myself up this time

I don't know if I want to

I got my hopes up again, friend;
I prayed to the wind and it went quiet
Can I breathe once again, when on the ground I stand,
My vision turns blue, I need to forget you

I need to bury the past and kick it back
and hold it where it belongs
It'll eat me alive, friend;
Come and save me

You picked me up when I felt weak
and my voice was too soft to speak
but you read my eyes and told the truth
and on young souls I cut my tooth

Lift the past and burn it down
and throw the ashes to the wind,
so it can never find itself again
A chance for rebirth

But I don't know if I want to

I'm leaving my windows open tonight
with the hope that it'll help me sleep
because when I wake up
I don't want to feel like I'm falling

They say the eyes are the windows of the soul
and I'm looking out
seeking something
and I want you to tell me what you see
when you stare at me
because I don't know what to feel

I've heard songs sung by long-dead stars
recorded on instruments divine
and I want to know what it sounds like
when the rings of Saturn spin

I'm getting over a fever
that's hobbled my mind for far too long
but instead of triumph I feel only
emptiness

It took everything from me and I took it all back
but I'm looking down into my outstretched hands and
I don't understand what I'm seeing

Take my hands, please, and cure me of this
disease

Close my windows when I wake

I miss the touch of candlelight on my skin
Faces pressed together without discretion
Thoughts projected onto cluttered walls
Littered with forced memories of years past

I'm confused by nostalgia
and conflicting desires
and the will to make it all right
when it's not my place to do so

I remember years ago when I looked in my wall-wide mirror
and realized that I'm not who I think I am
and I never will be
and I'm different by every sunrise

Reborn in a new light
singing new songs
humming old tunes
reclaiming lyrics from scrapyards

This is my destiny, I realized;
to be ever-changing

Each night I find myself clawing
the skin off my face

I find myself singing along to love songs
that I'll never relate to
not because I won't find love
but because I won't let myself

Each conversation blocked by doubt;
this is my curse
and my blessing

I'm forever safe, guarded by gates that
will never open

Is this all I'm good for?

Rewind.

Newly charred, you look like a
match lit twice

Oft cheated, I see the darkness in
your eyes

Pull those strings, boy
Look me in the eyes, boy,
It only gets worse from here

Never bothered to count the years
between you and your lover,
he left you broken on the roadside

No better than a puppet, you lay
seeking salvation

No fairer than the day, you lay
losing breath

Is this all you're good for?

I'm biting down on wax and steel
I say,
Turn the lights down
I didn't ask for this

Sing some ******* about silent
tears, we'll listen and root for you

Shy away from moonlight, lest it
change you into the animal you are

I've got my mental caps lock on
and it's taking its toll

The days roll by, iron gray and cold
as gunmetal
It only gets whiter from here

I'm waiting for the snowfall on winter's eve,
savor that blue sunrise, slough off the orange
at last and take that warmth for granted

Journal entries scrawled in black ink,
smeared by rainfall,
as only a fool would write outside

Only a fool would get glowstick gel
on his hands

I found a plastic fish that's meant to
go on my keychain; I lost
my keychain in the summer of '07

It's been too long since I've really been alone
and I'm tasting it again

It's salt on my fingertips
It's words I can't vocalize
Carnal
Primal
Dead

Suede shying from raindrops,
I think;
How long until the dawn?

I'm lost in a forest
The sun is hiding
I seek to do the same

Reading lines off cue cards,
I'm singing
I love you
But the words aren't mine

A boy can love on a blue moon
or when the sun sets in the east,
and I'm wondering if this is a curse
or a blessing

As I'm working up the strength to tell you
I can't do this anymore

You had to be there to live it
to feel it, to feel that wrath and peace and chaos and blood swirling round your face
so many were there, but not you
not anybody who's still around

i'm the only one who recalls this legacy
clocks don't tell, and neither do skulls

I can try to explain it
what it was like
but i never can
never could
never would

you'll never understand
the blood that was shed
the sky that was cut
the earth that trembled

my poetry lives to say
my blood warms to sway
my skull cracks to warn
my bones break to cry

Your beauty knows no bounds such as language or gravity
or thought, light or night or flakes or crystals.
They only pretend to enhance you, and it only enhances our
understanding of you, for you are perfection, and purity and
whiteness and blackness and the sun and the moon and the
snowfall promise of a late winter dawn

I dream of dark nights
when the moon hangs high
when the wind is crisp

that we sit on roofs
wrapped in each other's arms
breath the silent warmth

I dream of dark nights
that we sit on roofs
and watch the stars in silence
that our eyes be as silver as the moon

Minimus lux,
with little light

I dream of dark nights
when we would not see each other
so the form means nothing and
we are bound by mind and
soul

I dream of long days
when we sip tea or coffee
free of stress of social things or school
that we can enjoy each other's company
and not worry about deadlines or evenings

Oh, claim -
Claim my heart and my hands
Break them again
Take them again

Leave me gasping in the rain
again
I love you (x2)

I'll take lightning over rain
Fire over pain
Any day, any day now

I'm pleading
begging to the skies;
render your cloudy splendor,
let me close my eyes

Oh, claim my heart
and my hands
Break them again
Make them again

Leave me singing to the sun,
I love you

--

They say we're gone again
Gone again

I think I'm lost again
Lost again

Washed up on foreign shores,
your eyes the moon
sweet skies the boon

They say we're gone again
Gone again

I tell them to keep their
lies and choke again
Choke again

--

Because I plead you -
Claim my heart
Claim my hands;
Take them again
Kiss them again

I love you

Blades and cogs and coins alight on my carpet,
the one which I purchased from the courtyard vendor:
his name is Copper, for the wire

An orange beard stain'd by rusting iron, white
by nature for his age - eyes sharp and gray,
like black smoke from the pyre

My home is back behind a long-forgotten throne,
atop chipped flagstones carved from the riverbed,
the one which we call Hyena; the first name is long lost

Hunting dogs from towns far and wide gone wild in the heat,
children kept high on shoulders  - we rather the sun than
the dogs' sparkling teeth

Twisted aspens and birch among the rains, turning
green like veins of jade beneath our feet -
axes shattered from our forefathers, unusable on stone,
our only defense is our teeth and bone

Skies span blue and brown in season,
sands stirred up in far the east,
I blame the winds here and again:
dust killed my mother back there and then

Ceaseless shouting:
an echo in the light

Shadow has its mystery;
the sky 'nspires no plight

Bring it back to the days of
our forefathers and the infernal
cries of horror --

A constant back-burning is no
writ of lore

Dredge in the fields and harken to
our mother-chiefs, goats will be the
death of me, like me,
they gnaw on ancient skulls

Like spears cast in soil and seeds
sprouting young, the claw quick in
grass will scout the thunder's rolls

Blank as blanket clouds on northern holiday,
black as boots and blood in forests
deeper still, like the young crow's 'gotten trill;
death be found in my last shield's holes

Forgotten statuettes of Sophocles:
a hum of our queen's new families

Boots on my feet, heels on cold obsidian.
This is my land now. My proclamation;
every stone to the east and every wave to the west.
Evacuate.
Eyes on the sun, gun in hand: this is no place for dishonor.

Eyes on the prize.
No tomorrow.

Say, you see when the rooster rises and crows?
Take a hint.

Clouds abound and far
Glittering emerald heights
Smokestacks at the base

The illness catches branches low,
heralds beaten unseen woe.

It grows inside me, spark by spark,
a fire in my favorite park.

Jewels forgotten, rivers clean,
mark it by the ashy sheen.

It's gone again; it's worth your while,
stab yourself and spit up bile.

Your days are done and I will rise,
I am back to claim my prize.

Rock and roll on the radio;
forsake me

Mud between my toes and teeth on my tongue;
they hate me

Laugh with me,
leave them behind,
don't let me get away

It's our day, Friday,
forsake me and
never forget me

Mud between my toes and teeth on my tongue,
they hate me

Laugh for me and relish in that song,
I said,
"Are you gonna leave me behind?"

And you said,
"Only if you can't catch up."

Take my hand, darling--
move on to the stars and watch as the sun sets
See those silhouettes?

It's a summer retreat campfire beat and
sticks on railings in the dead of day

"Bring me back," they plead, but
that's not our way

Oh, no.

Look at the past and swallow your regrets
and make bad jokes about your fading silhouettes

Cast on the wall as a saucer after their call, broken
Take my hand and lead me through
the garden of our broken promises

An echo of "I'm sorry" in the embers

Send me screaming and spiraling to the encore, bravado of the loved, into the inferno that brews with each pant

I'm running.

I'm fleeing and my feet hit the concrete a little slower each time and the passenger of the sedan on my left is pulling a gun

I'm on the ground now, blood soaking into the pavement, laughs echoing off empty buildings

My old home.

Why did I ever come back?

No soft down of the goose
No suspirations of peace and condolence
No love for the broken

No volume of kind words will ever heal me,
no amount of rose-tinted promises will ever convince me that I'm not alone in this fight

No pillows for me when I fall from my great heights

Only the justification of my actions and the tissue to the tears I forgot to shed

Take from the poor and give to
the poorer

Drink scorched gold on ashy
bread

Bronze in your fist and silver
in your tooth

You're surely ******,
highwayman

--

Running to hills and sighting clouds like kids again,
Chasing memories that don't want you around

Resurrecting demons like foul-mouthed holy men,
Bones stir deep in your blood-soaked mounds

Hey, man, why do you bother?
Hey, man, why do you care?

Tell yourself again: It's not worth it,
Look down deep and you will find
the twisted nature of the highwayman

Running to the hills and sighting clouds like kids again,
Chasing memories that don't want you around

Resurrecting demons like foul-mouthed holy men,
Bones stir deep in your blood-soaked mounds

Tell yourself again: it's so worth it
Look up high and you will find
the blessed nature of the holy man

(Take from the poor and give to
the poorer
Drink scorched gold on ashy
bread
Bronze in your fist and silver
in your tooth
You're surely ******,
highwayman
You're surely ******,
holy man)

"I am not your enemy,"
whispered words and blood
drips from bleeding lips

"You can trust me,"
hoarse voices carrying on
sour winter breezes

"I'm the god now,"
and strength returns once more
to one who deserved to die

I kicked the radio - I admit

Hey, remember when you crashed the truck and
lost your phone while trying to replace a tire?

I remember when you stole the sun and used it to
warm butter for your popcorn

The radio's just a tinny audio ****-up, blasting bad rock
on bad speakers

That wasn't an insult.

-- It was my own **** fault

Clawing eyes out, drawing blood, kicking shins in,
busting skulls on hardwood floors

Just a tinny audio ****-up

Broken radios, trucks, bones, hollering calamities

It's a repeating pattern, I screamed. The clouds listened and they began to cry for me - I was all dried out

Summer sun will do that to you.

Oh, carry-on bags and Aeropostale apostrophes,
mere fabric catastrophes

It's a half-waltz dance to a song with few words,
all of which are in garbled Italian

It's a murmured What the ****? and a
high laugh

Tripping over your own feet has never been
so elegant

There is hope beyond a papery pharmacy
that is stocked with ink and sheepskin

The clerk is finicky and silent, and elixirs evaporate
as you browse the papyrus shelves

There is hope beyond this paper pharmacy,
so abandon poisons crafted by pen-laden fingers

Hear the bugle call - the woods shudder

Beyond the eyes of glassy sands and
blue elm trees, blood pours in fountains

It soaks stone,
cracks granite

I seek him out, picking through faces unknown
to me and oft seen of you, seeking scents unfounded

Swipe, the blade goes, flinging at the end of my arm,
and the skull goes flying true

Show yourself,
take what you want

Steal my words and my craft
and my beauty

I am more, I am the
killing song

I will rise above the waves and
slice their heads from their bodies

Rending flesh,
rendering muscle and sinew

Veins of sea spray down ******
rivulets, and there is nothing left

So, may we
start again?

Here, this is my haven place:
My light-rain windy dew-bound place.

There, that is my chaos place:
My flip-turn shattered axle flaming place.

Now, where is my solace place?
My hidden-thoughts mystery space?

Taking a look inside is harder than it looks
when my eyes stare out into the world and not
back within.

Glimmering, beset by glittering ocular retinae,
I see the ghost of my whispered solace place.

It is more than I'd ever hoped for.

please go and
sing those songs you
used to sing to put me to sleep

there are echoes and they
aren't satisfying anymore

there are knives and
daggers in my skull that spin about
with great fury and fervor

when will the bone give way?