No different now than it was before,
You thought I was mad at you but a
Resting face isn't under my control

And empty words are the same as
No words at all and I can't figure
Which one I prefer

Because they're both ******* aggravating

I see it in your eyes -
The endless inertia, energy spent
And left behind, recycled in an
Overcrowded skull

You were killed in the snow
And left to dry in the sun,
Beaten back like the weeds,
Held down like a martyr
Underwater

You've got a one-track mind and
It doesn't feel right
Doesn't rub me right

Breathing in smoke,
Inhaling fear,
You're a cyclops

I can't remember if it was me
Who gouged out your eye
But either way I've got a debt to pay
And the time is now

Oh honey,
Don't try to hide

You make my skin crawl;
Just the way I love it

Cold scars, blank eyes,
The only things that scare me

I know you're fragile
And when I tried to hurt you
I helped you instead

It's all in what
I never said

You took some time to yourself
And it's time for me to do the same

I'll never get to watch you drown
So there's no sense in sticking around

You said to me;
You don't deserve what's happening to you
And they don't deserve you

I'm praying that it's true
But you've never known me from
Less than a million miles away
So how can we be sure?

I don't know what's wrong with me,
What does God want from me?
So I can be perfect and funny once
Again, youth restored, safe so my
Heart isn't bored

Drenched in despair,
I've already been replaced -
I watched it happen, day by day,
And I can't help but hate
That which is better than I am

I need an escape and a place
I can run to because this town
Isn't my home anymore;
These aren't my friends anymore

Long ago,
Rain fell and music rolled
And instead of fog
They knew smoke

Long ago,
Crisp was muddled by
The sky and the sun
Rose and fell in grid-like rows

But I can't go to an age that's
Lost but more earthly

Pro-blade whispers on the edge of things,
There's no running from this

Forcing myself to sip water is different
Than drinking sunlight and taking in
Attention gets me high but it never lasts

By the time I'm home the world has fallen
And I'm putting the pieces together to
Figure out why it broke and if I
Caused this myself

Keep this boy alone

Can't find a reason to stick around since
It's easier to dust off bad looks and
Double-meaning words than
Rely on a dead man's grip

It was the same yesterday
And today and tomorrow
And I'm praying for a change
But abandonment is the solution
I don't want to accept

By the end of the day and the sun is
High I find myself forgotten by
Those whom I love and I begin to
Feel that heat in my chest

I run home like a child pushed to breaking,
Hands tense and clutching denim,
Breaths forced because breathing is hard

Praying for change, denying what I
Know is true, I need to
Escape these echoes

I'm an inconvenience
And time is short no matter the hour

Weakness in every joint
Every vein
I'm struggling to carry
My own weight
My own breath

I'm struggling to bear
My own binding writ to honesty

Endlessly entangled in bloodred twine
Torn from the hearts of dead lovers
I need a means of escape
From this magic pair

I can feel it in my chest
A dig site in flesh and soul
Spades cutting bone, I know
Your promises never last

I'll start with the first line of
A song I'm listening to and
It all rolls out from there

Knowing you act like you love
But I know you don't -
It's the purest form of torture

Let it all out
Let it breathe

If the sky can draw a breath
Then so can (*******) you

They're telling us to calm down
But it doesn't make me any more sane

Listen: it's been no different for me --
We've both found a future and a truth

And I remember the flashing lights at that
Concert devoid of pyrotechnics or
Rube Goldberg machines but it was
Perfect anyway

Do you see it?

Pretend I don't care
Masking this face with another
Lips touching on nothing

GONE WITH THE SUN ON MY BACK AND THE MOONLIGHT IN MY HAIR, I proclaimed, and I left with a trace in the form of six footsteps perfectly aligned in the soil post-storm.

I PROMISE THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL FIND ME, I bade them farewell, my message scratched in stone with a knife that if it were any sharper then I swear to God time would've bent to it and not the other way around.

I LEFT YOUR MONEY IN THE FREEZER WITH THE WINE YOUR MOTHER STOLE AT HER FINAL MASS, I called back, the words rolling off my tongue like an afterthought, and this fleeting carelessness is all I wanted in life and I was ecstatic to finally achieve it.

"And if it takes forever,
Forever it'll be,"
I promised

And lying in the grass with
A perfect blue sky above me
I knew it had all gone to dust

And your perfect face haunted me for
Years because I began to wonder,
How could I have been so blind?

We were supposed to go to church
But you tried to **** us first

And I know you've gone too far and
Maybe now you can fix things for yourself

Your friend almost killed us in his car
And you were strangling my brother
And when I called the police on you
I was happy you were safe

I feel like now playing chess
Through hasty key commands
We're on equal standing

Sigh is not born from weariness,
Rather a sense that things have settled
Before they're shaken up again

A moment of rest before the rest I
Must come to weather

An instant of respite before I
Must face a lying world again

And Sigh will culminate at this
Time next year but its truth
Will follow me forever

I'm writing this on my phone and by now
I'm hoping you can pick up on my mythos
Like how my number is my name
And how skies and geometry are closely intertwined

I love and
I live
And that is my resolution
For this year and every
One that comes after it

We could be monsters
If we tried hard enough

Remember when two people worked together
To ruin a song for me?

Because on both ends of the balancing rod,
They gave a new meaning to the word insane
And I learned to avoid those younger than me

Don't destroy our safe haven
Because it ****** you up a bit

I don't click

I'm a healer when I get attached
But now I'll try to limit that

I love music from every era but the
Past is most comfortable to me

I make tributes to those whom I love
But I remove them when times change

My only love is brotherly

When we begin to recycle titles,
Apathy with the past becomes apparent

When the heat rises up in my chest and I
Feel that anger again, I hate that it's so easy
To mistake it for love when there's no
Affection but only hatred for myself

All I can do now is turn up the volume
And wait it out

All I can do now is lean into my pity party,
Light the candles and close the shutters
Make love to the music

Looking your way,
I'd be hard-pressed to admit the
Beauty of an angel even if
It ****** me to Hell

You could say I ruined everything if
Everything wasn't ruined already

We're so quick to blame but have
You taken a moment to make peace
With your shortcomings like I have?

Acknowledging mediocrity in and of itself
Is transforming it into something more, since
An effort at least is never worth nothing

Yes, I truly resent you, but I don't resent myself
And I wish you the best in seeking the means to
Enable yourself to say the same

Until then, rest peacefully

When I was younger I knew wonder;
And now I can't see where it all went

I've been praying for a hunter
To bring me adulthood's head

It's a beast I knew was coming but I
Never thought it's real
And now I'm nearly overtaken and
I'm fearful I can't heal

I need far more than a rescue;
To escape this war at least
But I might just have the courage
To face this colossal beast

I don't where this blood came from
That's leaking from my hand
'Cause my blood's red and
This liquid is whiter than Greenland

I've won this fight for now,
I've been taken up in arms
But all I can consider now is
How to avoid harm

Faith delivers miracles
And this keyboard is too loud;
I'll probably wake my brother while
Typing this all out

But before I lose my train of thought,
Remember that I'd rather die under the lights
Than lose you to them

I can't express how titles
Dictate content, or how
Names are formed after I
Hear the voice behind the face

I've got a fuse when it comes to
Simplistic affection

It makes me feel small again and I
Don't like to make sacrifices

I feel sick inside when
I'm all of myself at once and
The beats fall out of touch and
My rhythm fades to dust

I think you're lovely but
Neither of us are good with groups
And it's during times like these that
I wish I could just up and flee

We were spoiled rotten with
Music and soul and
Time runs through our fingers
Like sand in an hourglass

We judged the most beloved;
You stole my mind and
I stole it back

This is my apology

I know you feed on gossip
******* yourself off in the corner -
You think it's glamorous
But that gossamer mask is gone and
Between the **** and the half-drunk
Smiles, the truth was always there

You pretend that you don't care but
I know
That you care too much and it's this
Fear that fuels you through the dark night

You're the one with a fist
Around my heartstrings
And I don't see the benefit
In projecting your crimes

I hear you around the corner
And I want you to show
Yourself so we can
Be good again

There's no such thing as freedom
When you're being chased, love

You've got a lot of nerve,
Coming back here after
What you've done

There is no peace in greed.

A revival means nothing when
Nothing changes the second time around

So why would you lie to us?

In this inferno do we spill our passion
And when lightning flashes dark
We will remain silent

There's been a delay on the press
And a shout in the streets; they demand
"Give us our books!"

And lo, such a tragedy is this
That we must wait for the
Yeti to emerge on this
Winter holiday

With several years under my belt as a living, breathing human, I've decided that it's high time I evaluate who I am. Deep down, I'm real. I know this. Amidst tests of life and vitality, I've resorted to prose to find my inner truth.

This truth is that when we are alive, there it a reason. When we die, there is a reason. Although it may not all be pre-determined, I know that when there is an action there is a push. Like a deep sigh from the ever-dark of my lungs, things come to light, and they come to spread about in the air and go on journeys untold.

As a young author,
I've published earlier
Years' worth of poetry
In hefty anthologies,
And that which has been
Allotted for 2015 will
Be published on Christmas

This book is called Yeti,
And if you care to pursue a
Purchase, a manner of donating
To a young writer, the link
Will be in my biography

Merry Christmas!

I confessed to you that
I'm a devil at heart but
I started to doubt it
Moments later

I still wonder
Why?

Can't I be sure of myself
When I finally figure things
Out

Maybe
I'm something holy,
Beyond what I had in
Store for myself so
Many months ago

Maybe
I'm something sacrosanct,
Something God wouldn't
Touch for fear of *******
It up before it got a chance
To bloom completely

Maybe
I'm something awful,
Maybe I crawled up from
Some rotten hole and I'm
Waiting for a hero to
Finally end me

I'll have to cut the title
This time so you can't
Find my tracks but
I don't know what I've found

If diamonds are rare,
Then this is rarer

We've done this before,
You and I

I mean, it wasn't
You and it never
Has been before but
The spirit never changes

When you look at me
I feel faint and
It's all I can do
To go to that spot where
We first met in hopes
Of finding you again

I don't know your name
Because our meeting was
Fleeting but maybe we
Could fix that, someday

Or not