II**

They flooded our boat
Like Dante’s lustful souls
Screaming, crying, bellowing--
They descend upon salvation.
And their faces-
So pale!
So frosty-reddened with tears
I have never seen faces so ridden with
Defeat.
Utter, valiant
Defeat.
The dearest Carpathia decks held
A strange, huddled mass that night.
In all my years
(And I am indeed with many,
Many years)
I have never seen such a silent desperation
That has made me close my eyes in such
Fear.
I reach, my hand becoming my heart
In fear for these depleted souls
And take them--
One by one.

III

Out of the corner of my eye
I watch our rosin-graced bows
Rotate to our rhythm
Our bowties are fresh and
Pressed
Our vests clean and buttoned
I smile at Fred, who
Turns to grin at Hartley
What fine folk
Our wooden bridges will greet
Tonight


We are a dream
Hartley directing us like a grand symphony
We are voices to keep thoughts off of
The maiming waves
The melancholy miasma of
Starlight
Glints on our strings
People screaming, bellowing,
Fighting
But we play on, men
We play on.

IV**

Ma boys, ma boys
I hold them close in this canvas
Lifeboat
They look me in the eyes and say,
“Papa, where is Mama?”
How is it answered?
How do I answer sweet boys
Who question me in this canvas
Lifeboat?
How can it be said:
‘Boys, Papa take you away from
Mama
To Liberty Land
Where streets are gold?’
So I
I say nothing to quiet boys
In lifeboat rocking on the sea
Dark water is like truffle blood
I cannot see.
Away go we
On dark sea.
Small boys stop asking
Where Mama go
When they know
How I take them away.
I hold them tight
And look for dawn.

I like you in the morning,
your eyelids still heavy with the innocence
Of sleep
The sunrise still soft on our skin s

I like you at noon, in the heat of day
Pronouncing German, invoking laughter.
What I would give to stand with you,
The sun warm on our faces, our hearts
In some lost and faraway place
If only to quench our Siamese wanderlust

I like you in the evening,
Your strong arms around me
Watching HGTV;
Or when you play me sweet melodies,
(that violoncello will steal my heart)

And yet,

I like you best at night
when you dream aloud-
Hands searching-
Breath quickening-
Skin touching-
Words failing-
One becoming-

You are most wonderful at your most vulnerable,
Most pure

Let’s discover the world together-
Tomorrow?

V**

I hold my lantern high
Its glow illuminating only feet of water
The others were so confused, for I
I didn’t want to let them die
Forgotten.
The water is like black silk
I dare to brush my hand across the surface
And feeling the ice of the ocean
I fear.
With a sweep my eyes scan the horizon
Up ahead, ship **!
There lay remains of the beauty
We once thought could wall us in
And protect us from the nightmarish world.
Bodies of the dreamers
Lay floating in their pressed white
Life jackets
And I call for anyone
Anyone at all
Who will make my voice worthwhile…
--We waited too long
We waited too **** long
A tear slips down my cheek
And sweat racks my spine
As I wait for
A sound.

VI**

No.
These books lie.
These words and these voices and
These photographs
Hoodwink us into thinking
Titanic is really gone.
No.
It was the Olympic, dear
Baby girl Titanic is still out there
Twanging lovely cello notes
And drifting with smooth propellers.
No.
Adrift like a ghost
Is she…
**** those photographs
They feel so untrue, because in my heart
I was there
I am there.
So I am drowned?
I am facedown in the water
Gasping for a breath my
Body cannot take?
I am dead?
NO.
My boy is still alive
I am still holding his hand deep
In the sea
Blue blue ocean
If lovely girl, Titanic, has broken
I am broken too.

VII**

The water starts easily, helplessly
licking my tires with passionate peace
As the current builds I can feel my hubcaps rusting
peeling away all those years of clacking British
pavement
and dogs taking a leak despite scolding
strangers
and children’s bouncy *****
gliding just short of an auto wreck

the icy ocean digs underneath my doors
it cuts my cushioned seats
like cobra teeth
Tearing away the midnight kisses
rides to dark places
and the beautiful dusk rainfalls
--If I think a while, in this bubbling
reverie
I can feel the sizzling raindrops
pattering

When the water reaches my wheel I
moan my engine
collapsing inside, wishing I could cry
but any oil would float away
and infest the souls I know will soon
surround me.
It isn’t long before I must hold my breath
and my wheels gently feel a folding of the floor
wood splitting shatters the still air that has
entranced me into my imminent
sleep

nothing, nothing
I all rust
looping bubbles and
twirling like a gumball down the
candy store machine
fallingfallingfallingapart
I explode on an ocean floor
with no hope of returning
even the memories they gave me won’t set me
free

so I only
watch the dust
settle


settle

VIII**

When I was small
I dreamed of free-falling—
I would imagine my thick chocolate
Hair
Swirling around me like a parachute
And I, World Class Acrobat
Would land-standing up!-
To be greeted by
Earth-shaking applause.

Yet there were no cheers when I jumped
Headfirst
Off the unsinkable lady’s bow.
Nobody applauded my grand feat
When I came twirling up for air.
If only I had trained
On the trapeze
I might swing away
From these fatal ropes that now
Suffocate me.
If only I had learned
To escape from life-binding chains…
A miraculous act, they’d say!
See how she cheats death…

Of course, I think all this
As I sink into the
Dreamless sea.

IX**

I rust.
I, who they called ‘unsinkable’—
--once
Sleep in ghostly slumber.
In my cradle I sense
Bodies breaking down.
They cry with me about
Loss and sacrifice,
sometimes when I forget to feel.

The Grand Staircase is screaming
Every last table and chair are
Kneeling
Baby dolls are weeping-
Do they lust for eternity?

At times I yearn for my lost children
Those that lie yards
From my mast
And those generations descended
Alike
They should walk my bow
Caress my stairwell
Dance in my parlor rooms—
Shake me awake
For you are
One thousand, five hundred
And seventeen
Perished
And I am
One
Not yet dead.

X**

A clear night wraps us in a
trance
and my eyelids flicker slowly with sleep.
To pass the time we count stars
as if they weren’t an endless void.

One, two, three…

Our chests heave in unison
with fatally sharp air
And I think of how pleased
Helen will be
When I am in her arms once more

Thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine…

Joseph boasts of when we reach America’s
shores
He’ll kiss every girl in the street-
Maybe he will settle down someday.
I give him ten years.

Seventy-one, seventy-two, seventy-three…

I am the first to notice
a dark, looming shape—
Dead ahead, Joe! DEAD AHEAD!
He squints into the thrashing waters
And we both cry out in strength
just zapped into our spines alike.

We send the signal, but a
squeezing knot
inside of me
Knows that we are too late.
What if instead of stars
we were counting souls instead?


One, two, three, four…