we walked down the hall
laughing
honestly i couldn't of been
more happier
or more content
if being with you
causes this much happiness
let happiness ensue
i want to be with you.

today you didn't
put your arm
around me
because i reminded you
to grab your jacket
and it took my place
in your arms.

i get restless
sitting in my desk
the clock is barely visible
from my seat
so i tap my foot
my fingers
tap tap tap
i've complained about
the clock before
clock just ring.

i find myself
doing things
or saying things
that you do.
and it may be
because i've spent
so much time with you
and you're worn on me
leaving fingerprints on my skin
as well as bruises
but that's my fault as much as yours
and i've buried my face in your shoulder
and i've inhaled
your scent remains in my lungs
i'm not even surprised
when i do or say something
you do.

when i crawl into bed
i get a feeling
of intense longing
for you to be beside me
and four pillows
and six blankets
doesn't make up
for the heat
your body
could provide
next to mine.

you said you would never
hurt me
but you did
but i know now
what happened
and i cried
but i won't tell you.
just laugh jokingly when i declare
"i thought you were mad!"
"i thought i did something wrong!"
both understatements
i looked into worse case scenarios
harvesting ideas in my thoughts
and let it plague me.
you responded of course not
and you put your arm around me
and held me close
and indeed
i felt safe.
just like you
want me to be.

i couldn't even ask for a hug
when i really needed one.
my courage lacks
in areas like so
and i can't seem to
bribe the words
to leave my mouth
so my dear
i won't ask for hugs no longer
even though i usually need one.