Here I am, back on the ground and beaten down. Filled wit love but wear the mask of a clown.. I'll tell you honestly, I was at the top I flew among kings and for a moment I had thought. These angel's with wings, who's soft lips did comfort lonely soul.. Why would it stop?.. Now to go on, supposed to find our roads, to search for my own "beautiful life", a brand new rose? "This clown, this joker, this suffering artist", call me what you will, but kindly I leave with a parting gift- This is not a shout for "help!", I'm not trying to connect, jus that I am like all of you, another clown in respects. It is easy to stumble, it is easy to fall, but we are here for each other, Heart, Mind, Body, Soul and All..

I guess that I knew,
From the first time I lay next to you.
The way your body fit mine,
As if by some other beings design.
Just the unreal softness of your skin,
Should have clued me to what would begin.
The enchanting smell of your wondrous hair,
Intoxicating, as we held each other on your living room chair.
Looking back I wonder how we did not know,
Just how much our love would come to grow..

The light is gone,
there's nothing but darkness here.
Can you feel me?
Fingertips to lips.
Darkness enshrouding,
listen..
to the first aching note.
Your heart stirring,
in time to this melody.
Draw your warmth in close,
and you'll find me there.
Heartbeats coinciding,
lips pressed gently,
hands entangled.
There is fire smouldering,
passion in your eyes.
Clinging to memories,
fading in the night.
and they can't reach us here,
here, no-one exists.
Nothing but your soft breathing,
your gentle smile..
A nothing that is everything.
And the light surrounding you,
You, my most beautiful of hurt.

I'm not sure anymore,
Which part of us is right.
We're together somewhere in this darkness,
Even though we've lost all sight.

Pure intentions lost in translation,
Maybe we've lost our focus?
Like two impassioned artists,
Spilling paint onto our canvas.

Despite our mistakes though,
I'm sure we can save our work of art.
For even though we paint blindly,
Together we create an image of pure heart.

I am nowhere,
And I've been working for years to get here.
Something inside me is broken.
Pulling, and pushing; it's pain I cannot bear.
I am chilled,
But not from the cold air.
Some part of me can't help but pick,
At these silent scars I wear.
Everything good is muffled,
I feel guilty in your eyes.
And I am so ******* scared,
That I may never truly rise.

And you deserve so much more than this.

As we slept
In each other’s minds
Through the night,
Fearing commitment
Equally as much
As striving for it,
I kissed you
Thinking that maybe
I’d let myself pretend,
Having finally uncorked
That bottle of wine,
All hesitancies
Had disappeared

But I tried to kiss you
Again in the morning,
Thinking
As I think now
That if it may be
Our last chance
I want to take it:
I want to swing dance
Through thunderstorms
And sip our wine
With nothing
But the certainty
Of one another

But you pretended
Not to notice
My eyes meeting yours,
And filled
With all the reservations
That should have been in me,
You averted your gaze
And walked away
(As I still worry
You will one day)
From that surreal bed
Of whispers
And fewer tears

Dear fall,
Be better to me then your sister summer,
She whipped and scorned me with her heat,
She made me so busy I had no time for myself,
My disappointment of her misuse of the weather made it inexplicably sad,
Oh fall be better, with your wisdom and your slow grace,
Like a woman growing old,
Do it slowly,
With your warm cider,
Your gold pumpkins and your soft cool evenings.
At first summer was my first love,
But I'm a little mad at summer,
So I'll talk to my second love fall.
Give me time to myself to think, and paint and draw,
Don't hassle me all the time as summer did and make me worry.
Treat me with love and show me more family.
For I miss them so.