I would say my heart beats
Like the ticking of the clock.

But now that everything is so digital,
I can honestly say
I haven't heard the ticking of a clock
In well over four months.

Which goes just about the same
For the beating of my heart.

We can lie in bed
And I will hold your head on my lap.
And we can stare at the ceiling as you cry,
And pretend that it's the stars.
I would be perfectly fine with that.

I will kiss the tears off your cheek.
The little wide eyed girl
We both saw in our dreams
Is getting eaten alive by the wolf,
And we can't save her.

A white dove is perched on the tree
He sees our jaws graze the floor.
He doesn't care.
The wolf is just he puppet,
The dove is the hand.

I have shed so many tears for
That little girl with the wide eyes.
Those eyes should have seen everything.
I want to find the white dove.

How come we're the only ones who have to pay?
Why is she gone?
SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN OURS RIGHT NOW.
Who is the white dove?

I hate the girl.
I hate the wolf.
I hate myself.
I love the girl.
I hate myself.
I hate you.
I hate myself.
I love you.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.

I lied.
Don't cry.
I am not be perfectly fine with any of this.

I don't want
to write about
fireworks,
and butterflies
and pretty
stars in
perfect
skys.
I want
to write about
the gaps
in your teeth
and the way
your voice
sounds when
you're angry
I want
to write about
the mess of
clothing
that you
don't even
wear,
all over
your bedroom
floor
I want
to write about
the tears
on your pillowcase
and the way
you so often
fail to make
sense
in the morning
I don't want
to write about
all of the perfect
things you do
I want
to write about
why I'm
in love with you
and
I want my words
to prove that
there's nothing
you do
that
I'm not
attracted to
...

I suddenly remember your face
From the night you first kissed me

Kissing & smiling alternately

Holding my hand, curling into a ball, wrapping yourself around it
Nailing me to the bed, pouring your kisses on my lips & my neck
Playing my curves like a guitar,
& spinning the world around me

Between resting & waking dreams
So close to me you breath in my exhale.

Its not just the small piece of rhythmic flesh
This heart that beats,
slow & fast, to the symphony of our love making
Its our souls intertwined, drunk & hungry

Just
flesh and bone
blood and hair
nerves and sweat
now all stripped bare
a heaving, gasping, tangled mass
Of love and lust and rage and greed
of want and lack and take and need
the wet and hot and cold and true
the aftermath of me and you

you are

maddeningly sweet
infinitely kind
shockingly ****
nauseatingly cute
surprisingly stylish

and i am
hopelessly romantic
for you

but darling,
mon chéri,
when you kiss me in the night rain
with the glow of the sodium vapor lamp on your skin
(or is it happiness?)
and i see your eyelids,
ever fluttering
blinded by our love & raindrops
i hop on a leg
and jump once more in the puddle
(splashh)

(i'm) flamingo legged
& shy
so kiss me again
oh me oh my