your love is too tainted
[by the memory of a boy
who will never be more
than a memory]
to give anybody else.

Flowers are the breath of the Earth
The music of the birds
The daughters of the trees
Kisses of the stars
Art of the universe
The clouds companions
Muse of the sun

i.
some days are more
worth living than
others; today is not
one of those days

ii.
your words stay pinned
on my mirror, and i
don't know if i am
keeping them there to
torture myself
or to remind myself
that i should stay
alive

iii.
i used to be okay,
and i don't know how
i ever was that way
or how to get back

iv.
you used to draw maps me
on my arms; nobody knew where
they went except for
you

v.
i want go where
you do, but i don't know
how to find you

he tells me he is reaching
his breaking point
(and) he sighs,
(and) he looks away,
(and) i want to reach out to him
to touch his hand, shoulder,
knee

but i am afraid he will
shatter

when i was a kid, i pretended i could
breathe underwater so that if i was
ever caught in a wave for too long
i wouldn't panic- but now my hands are
shaking and i can feel my lungs getting tight
and my ear drums are starting to pound, and
these ceilings are
crushing
me.

Sprinting down the steep hill
Running with the birds
Dancing along the barren ground
Arms spread out wide to embrace the wind
As it drags its whispy claws through my glass ribs
Hair whipping agaisnt my cold white cheeks
Caught on the frost on my scarlett red lips
Taking drags of oxygen instead of drags from cigarettes
Lungs burning
Its just you
You and the beauty of the wind

it would be a
privilege
to drown
with you.

If he dies, he dies
With trouble on his mind
Future looking hazy
This is the end of the line
With a cigarette in hand, walking to the water
He hit the bottle hard, longing for the other
One, in his life that could make all this right
But this is the real world, not a dream
And after that fight
She isn't coming back, he knows this in his heart
As he looks up to the sky
Praying for this life to stop
Not thinking of the good things
Trapped in a world full of pain
Blinders on, paranoia rules here
No love left, just hate
Chemical dependencies couldn't take him away
The six shot revolver, couldn't decide his fate
So he turned his hood up and walked into the distance
Praying for an act of God to please
Simply just end this

The contrast is stunning
Taking my breath away
Only when I'm so happy do I realize
How miserable were the other days
Life is always so heavy
Weighed down by fear and the past
Though things seem so perfect right now
I'm terrified they won't last