She's happy she's confident
be happy for her
be happy for them
we can all shine together and be happy together
why do you must be above someone else
we can all make it
we will all make it together
the society standard pretty girls,the lesser "pretty" girls, the "have's the have nots
...**** it
forget the labels us the humans of the world
we are all equal we are one...
lets be bold and beautiful together
take my hand...
dare...

Sometimes...
I feel like i attract the wrong people
like i'm all wrong
like i ran a marathon but no one noticed
no one even cares....
idk sometimes.....

When i see that bolt turn on
I'm excited, afraid, and somewhat confused
Like i'm excited that first of all i got a like
that my poetry might've spoken to a soul out there
that you know i got a like...
i'm afraid of letting success go to my head...
i'm afraid of the torment that i am capable of
afraid of "dependation"
like idk its a personal thing.....
but i'm somewhat confused because i'm a pretty weird *** soul
....and i've never fully been content with myself like right now i love myself but i'm always wishing for better...
and there's a belief in my mind that everyone's out to get me
that i just don't belong anywhere
and i don't know if i'm ok with that....
it's so surprising when i find people who still talk to me
when i say something outta the norm, stupid, when i dress cray cray
but i guess those people are out there
...and i want to thank you for tolerating me
and accepting me

Theres just something about people
who can not give a **** that gives me chill's...
idk....
i recently watched videos on avril lavigne and like miley cyrus...
and like they dont a give a crap at all
...it's really intriguing
and i get kinda jealous
...because i wish i could be that way
life would be so much easier
just a tad bit more
i'd be a go getter
i'd be daring
and i feel like....that's who i want to be at the moment
but the moment wants me to stay right here
and kiss my life

My life right now
As i browse my laptop
searching the world for a new activity
....i feel pointless
like i have nothing to live for
like i'm living for nothing
blankness
like we live for money.....paper
clothes....cotton
people..for worth
and life.....we don't

The midnight sky glistens ever so beautifully
with stars ever so ******* bright
my lines come to life as i "rawen them up"
i say **** and i say ****
because life thats why
but this ******* universe
there's a ******* galaxy out there
maybe even more beyond our eyes
maybe a parallel universe
someone exactly like you...
maybe aliens
maybe a whole new species race...
you gotta believe in somethin...
that life is more
it's beyond

hearts beating
in unison
as the world spins round and round
same heart but different soul
as we come together in a giant melting ***
different backrounds, different paths, different perspectives...
we are more united then we think
but the real beauty is when...
not only one color is revealed
but when you are able to appreciate the rainbow
the abstract things in life
...thats when youv'e discovered true beauty
thats when you know

People this year really ******* surprised me
..my Mom, my "friends", and aquaintances
but throughout this whole year...to think not one person that truly loved me...accepted me
and this year has been extremely hard because...i felt really lonely
that no one got me, that I had no place, and i chased people who were pushing me away
i felt like a strayer, like mud left behind
this year I've really been able to see the hate of the world
when i've been nothing but kind, when i went out of my way to be accepting
but i could sit here and rant
or I could say It is finished
even if it's not 2015 yet...the past is done
no going back...
and i don't regret anything
but how i treated myself
and allowed myself to act...

2015...i come into you
with an open mind...
knowing that your not going to be perfect
that you might even be a bigger ***** to me than 2014
...but im having faith
that i'll find new forms of happiness
...new experiences to learn from
...that it wont be a repeat of 2014
but a redemption
that what i lost
will be found
through faith
in the mighty name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
...Amen

2014 had its nice moments
but was a total ***** to me
but i know it was out of love...
I went through heartbreak, anxiety, insecurity, the struggle to find myself,...i learned new things
about people
myself
and...
i just want to say thank you
thank you for being such a ***** because without this year...
i wouldn't of known what direction i stand in
what i need to look forward to
and most importantly...self strength
so thanks for being such a *****

Having joined this website again for the...
like 15th time..
i finally feel like poetry is me
i don't feel like it's a way or excuse for me to rant on about my problems
when i write poetry...
i feel the thundering of thoughts just bolting up a storm in my mind
...its like im in a trauma state
its like once i'm writing it's almost impossible to stop
but joining this website...
has given me a little hope
a little...
like all my faith is in God but what i mean is
Im finally feeling like pieces are coming to me
that something belongs to me
and I feel somewhat complete
...ya know

How does a morning so delicate so perfect...
turn into such a miserable day
to insecurity
to me shaming every single thing
carrying around a frown for fashion
....i guess i really want to sit up in here like i usually do
and mumble, rant on for hours about my so far **** day
find the answer i'm looking for than come back 3 hrs later
i guess my real thing is
is letting life flow
and i know exactly what that means...

I can feel the warm ******* embrace
I feel the flowers slowly beginning to sprout...
where darkness overshadowed
.....
the faith has taken over
and i feel it
it's real
God is real

Don't you get it MEX
there are real people who will accept you for you
for your own personal struggle
your personal weirdness
so uncooth right
but there out there
just keep being yourself
cuz that's truly all you can be
try being Miley Cyrus and you feel ****** up why....cuz your not her
your awesome, your weired, unfiltered, ****** up
so be as loud as your mind

So for a long time i've searched trough every rock of life
for some form of validation of my personla purpose
and i've been through the popular stage...
the slutty for boys stage...
the paris hilton wears pink everyday stage and puts herself above everyone stage...
than the misfit stage...
and oh this stage it stood out amongst the rest
i was so intersted in it
and it felt like i hit home
like i could do anything
and i mean i really like what these people stand for
Miley Cyrus, Kendall Jenner, stoners, lady gaga, gay people, different people
....and for a while i've felt like this is where i belong finally
like i belong with people who don't give a ****, and people who get me, and all black weird clothing wearers
with dyed hair, who listen to punk n gaga
like it felt right for a while but now it feels like all my other stages
it feels all wrong
like idk...
im trying to hard to fit in
and truth is
my place is in my heart
i belong to myself
with my own heart
i fit in with God and myself
and that's all i need
i fit in no where on this earth
for me....
im through needing validation
for my life....
i define my own life
the purpose may not be apparent at times but i now its there and its in my heart
and it's there for eternity
my worth, my loves, my everything
lies within my place....
my heart

TODAY WAS FURKING GREAT
ITS FURKING AWESOME
LIFE IS FURKING AWESOME
AND I HAVE RIGHT NOW TO DO ****
RIGHT AT THIS ******* MOMENT
AND IM GOING TO DO WHAT I WANT NOW
AND CHILL BECAUSE I'M LIVING FOR ME
like today i was chillin in my car and some lady just stared at me like full out stared, turned her whole *** back around too...
and my instinct was to show her how much i didn't give a **** about her
but you know what it's my life, people have no in on my life, they can't change who I am and i should'nt be afraid of that because if i really allow myself to love myself i'll be fine
like...
people don't even exist
it's only me and my life
whoever i let in is my buissness
whoever i don't then i'm sorry we couldnt chill
but life goes on
i can't continue to aspire to be proud of having boys google over me
or be ashamed when people laugh at me
or get embarrased or continue to get jealous over societal pretty girls
like yeah i'm different so the **** what
i'm done trying to prove it
so what i do what i do
it's my life isn't it
i only have this moment and the rest of my life to LIVE
my life is winding down
and i might have wasted 2 months of it...that i can't get back
like...
life is like a big old ice *** full of millions of people
melting little by little every second
beautiful but messy as ****
like were all beautiful, unique, different from each other
Africans, gays, lesbians, whites, native americans, like everybody we all shine equally
life is not a competition
....why does there need to be a high and a low
....lets ******* co exist like God intended
...i dont know about you guys but I'm done fighting myself against the world
the world has enough hate that i just don't want to be apart of and add on too so im out
I'd rather just chill in my own little world
with my people, new people who will come in and out...and maybe back in
...but my world is of love
...when someone calls me ugly...i say...ok and keep it movin
theres  no need to prove to them that i'm not what they think i am, or prove that i'm worthy
...not neccessary
...simply because it's my world
my life
no space, nor time, to be thinking about not giving a ****, about people, about life 24/7 like i think alot more about life thatn i actually live it and its ****** up
....i'm cutting all that uneeccesary thinking out, all that trash talk, all that rebellion against haters, no time to compete
no interest
...i value what i value
i love what i love
...i do what i do
you have your way i have mine
i define my own worth
i define my life
and simply i can choose
so **** U

So like i wowke up
and i was like i'm gonna read me some poetry
and i did it like..psshh **** it i did it
and i ripped 3 of my faves out
and decided i was gonna be positive right here right now
and decide to be ready for whatever comes my way and to change
because whatever i can't handle now...was designed that way
...so that i could grow and learn from it
so im sorta prepared to change
jammin to miley currently
and i'm just gonna chill
and be completely in the moment
doing my thang
because first of all it's my life
and we don't live in eternity
we live in a world full of people trying to make it
feel important and interpret life
so i don't blame them for being complete *******
but this time around im focusing solely on me
...time is winding down..and life's too short to count up who the **** hates me
and wonder how am i gonna show so and so how much i don't give a **** today
...like my life should be filled up with joy, adventure, and i'm gonna push my self to do that
me personally chooses not to give a **** about ****
that's me
that makes me happy
and ******* can talk, can laugh, and what not
but it's my life
straight up like i'm sorry if i offended you or if your angry of something that's going on in my bubble
but whatever our world right
but i'm focused on what i'm doing and on what the **** I want do
and I know you people viewing are like what the hell
your right

Do you ever just feel so angry at the world
have you felt so alone
...that everyone was out to get you
that you had no place
and every ******* little thing erked you off
have you just walked down the street and have ab billion people stare at you like a monster like youv'e done them wrong...
and then you started to believe them..
began to transform yourself into miss confident but still comforming to look normal so people don't look at you like your "out of place"
it's like i have all this knowledge on confidence, on embracement, on individuality
and i don't know what the hell i'm missing
like i dont want to spend my life in the shadows of others
i want to be able to live
L I V E
like right know im breathing...
but im not alive
barely atleast
everyday i wake up
the first thing i think about is my ****** day that always awaits
my problems with anxiety
and i constantly tell myself all this crap on why i'm important and blah blah blah
the same exact crap every single ******* day
it's like i'm sick and tired of this crap
this life
i hate it right now
i hate being judged and hated for doing nothing to anyone but be nice
I'm sick and tired for being judged for who i am
i'm sick and tired of caring but i just can't
i can't
its easy to say it to yourself inside of your home
but once you step foot outside all bets are off...
but right now my only hope is faith
and i know that God will come through for me
but I can't take this crap any longer
and i'm looking for an overnight transformation
but God you have my word
I know that you love me, and you want me to learn from my experiences and mistakes to shape me to who i'm supposed to be...
and i'm holding your hand for comfort
i may not be the girl that i want to be today
but as long as i'm alive there's hope

I had a dream...
about idk
i was in a school
i felt so insecure with myself
i fed on the opinions of others
especially this one boy James
but i know that it wasn't from 8th grade
i felt so excited when i saw him
but i didn't talk to him
i just kinda flashed my myself around
you know my body, my ***, and what not...
but it really kinda just took e back to the person i was back then
and i woke up feeling disgusted not knowing why...
but i think i know why now
I feel like the dream was a message
that i can't be who i was before and the person that i'm going to be at the same time

I woke up...
unsure...
slightly feared...
the only think keeping me going my faith...
and my new heart

It feels peaceful...
different...
a little scary
but rather nice...
as my heart beats in unison with my bae Miley
I feel so broadened
so on going
i feel infinate
my mind is clear but my heart just keeps on expanding
I mean i still feel like anxious old
wanna not give a **** me
but i steppin up
and i feel the embrace
and i can't wait to see what's in store in my future:)

Sometimes life surprises you
you go from pink and sparkly
to black
from this girly girl
to a tomish boyish thing
you go from society
to individual
or atleast on your journey
you really don't know what will pop up next
what challenge
who you'll face
what you'll face
its scary but exciting at the same time
like...
you could become a millionaire tommorow
you could meet your fave celeb
you may finally find your answer to all your problems
like...
life is that roller coaster
that your so mutherfucking excited to ride
but them it starts up and your scared as hell and you dont know *** to expect from it
it may go down
mybe to the left
or upside down
like you don't ******* know
but once the twist is over
you relax and realize it was nothing after all
but in life we can't control a lot of things
like people
things just bound to happen to us
....life
but i'm practicing patience
positivity
and faith
because that is all.....

Up down, up down
round and round
zig zags
and a little bit of throw up
and you have life
it's fun
but it's also a *****
but what i've learned so far is...
be a bigger *****
look it in the face and say
i know the ******* that your gonna throw my way
but im invisible and im gonna kick your ***
and then do it

Idk this girl is just so amzing
she's my idol
Destiny hope Cyrus
******* awesome right
taught me how fun it is to be yourself
that it's ok to be different
to value something different
she showed me a whole 'nother world
a gift but also a curse
like i feel like im chasing myself along with the world
it feels like im alone but im not
weird huh

As the intense waves poundering away in my ears
my whole head is filled with an excitement
a burst of i dont even know
so intense
just blasts all of my current worries away
so ******* soothing
people ask why
i say idk
but it's somethin about the music