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mikev Dec 2015
I don't think we ever truly knew each other, she said.
I almost said I felt like one of those icicles that stay the same size, while all their icicle friends are pushing towards the fallen snow.
I just looked at her.
I'm surprised my stomach didn't digest my heart right there, as my eyes ran across the back of my brain, I could feel the static building.
Wondering. Where I went wrong and when.
We had it all.
The lazy Sundays.
The gluttonous nights after work.
The lustful sweat falling to her bare skin mixing with the oils and dust in the air.
Her make up running with angst
Asking to be set free, I know that feeling all to well, I said.
What? She looked perplexed pausing the passion.
Oh, sorry, I slapped her in the face, and she smiled.
Dec 2015 · 307
cold shower (wake up)
mikev Dec 2015
Such a long sigh
for a girl with a such a shortness of breath -
She's explaining to me why
I should already be kissing her neck -
hands all over my back, to be
inevitably covered in sweat, she reads
Comso on her lunch break - (back to)
back to punching numbers in the face -
(day to)
day dreaming how much wine one could taste -
the thought alone, my stomach rolls like a vehicle out of control, knowing cold how much time one could waste -
it's a trait
We grew up with. (and)
I'm disgusted.
Even myself cannot be trusted,
so why would I even touch this?
Frail female with a ten foot pole?
Good thing I'm packing eleven
If they're playing games?
They should fold, I'm betting
with a wrist of aces
a hand that can't lose
how far should I take this?
Dec 2015 · 195
KMA
mikev Dec 2015
KMA
It bothers him
What they say
Think
How they
Show their emotions in their eyes
And mouth. The lies
They mouth, he wonders
When, no why.
Why me?
It bothers him
What they say
How they think
Or, fail to do so.
mikev Nov 2015
her lips pressed against mine
guess
i thought i'd be impressed by
now
this wet met oughta get south
woah -
let's not get ahead of ourselves
take piece of the past
make it a nightmare in fact
so many to choose from
no wonder i never adapted
only reacted always distracted
i can't help it, can you?
living in fear, another year passed
last i remember, it was september
falling tears black - feeling sheer trapped
snap back - to now, i don't know where you are
or who you talk to - what you do
or if i'm in your thoughts still -
and trust me, it's impossible for me to pick up the phone
and call, text or whatever - and forget
sending that letter - i write, like each night
oh well - there's always tomorrow i suppose.
Nov 2015 · 163
stop the presses
mikev Nov 2015
life's a book
you judged by the size
didn't read
see - i get looks
when i go outside
by the grazing sheep
wolf wearing their clothes with amazing teeth
chasing dreams, i refuse to let go of
you just drink and hope to get over - the past
i take a step back, and shake the wet black
blanket they wanna place over my head
Nov 2015 · 568
let me down
mikev Nov 2015
where's the fun in giving a life without sin?
like how am i supposed to like you when
the air is still, (and i can't breathe)
the skies are stale (yeah and these)
eyes are filled with hatred tall sorrows and fear -
black tomorrows become numb no longer rare -
walk by the mirror
i don't recognize myself, but all they do is stare
i am sorry we didn't love each other at the same time
i'm sorry i always worried when you'd tell me it's fine
you're by my side down to ride and down to burn down the entire
city if we have too, this place was pretty when i had you -
but then you'd revealed a fury that's blind
reacting in a hurry, this mind, trust? no -
a mantra that's been supplied, leaves it all unfair
when i can't hide - under spotlight
asking myself - who am i - ?
who are you to let me down?
you let me down
you let me down


soundcloud.com/the_mikev/let-me-down/
Nov 2015 · 308
ready
mikev Nov 2015
One minute it's fine
the next it's knot
I've tied tight ready
Hands steady eyes heavy
Let me do it!
Barking at identies unclear.
Shadow darting startled in fear.
Breathe. It's time.
This is for you, he said
raising a glass of their blood
This is for us, he said, with a nod
across the room, the cross almost
glows against the ****** walls.
He's ready they said.
Ready for answers they said.
Oct 2015 · 403
clean
mikev Oct 2015
when it makes sense
the air is fresh
access is with ease
it's just what you needed
Oct 2015 · 508
the madness
mikev Oct 2015
i think
having known the sinister side of
anyone at any given
time, - it could, come crashing anywhere
even at work, or school, this parking lot
you - them, they'll never know what they are capable
of - depression fueled by hatred - a toxic cocktail - I don't
understand how this isn't a bigger issue.
Oct 2015 · 608
the feels
mikev Oct 2015
I'm ready to go
she said.
I can't find my keys
need to tie the shoes
sunglasses missing
It's not my fault I'm not ready.
mikev Oct 2015
got her a gift I
thought was clever and hastened
I tell her I'll always love her, I can be exceedingly patient,
through whatever weather
I'd be there in a fire and rainstorm
told her that forever I’m staying
so when she said
let's take a vacation
my eyes light up
a permanent one
oh. wait.
no, me? - no - when -
she said, when you begin to intervene with scenes of dreams we breathed?
I'll say you're lacking persuasion
and - don’t ask the occasion.
They’re reasons I cannot be placing.
And life's short why would I waste it
with you? (the eyes)
plus
someone else’s name.
I can taste it
and stupid you and I
with the everyday doubt and shame it became abrasive
don't you see?
the pouts and pangs started replacing
every-single-*******-thing we were chasing
so everything small claim brings out the fangs
I'm so sick of thinking I’m all there is to blame
until I'm on the brink of insane?! (eyes)
I don't owe you any explanation
I don't care what you consider courageous
you don't know how anxious my core is
imagining the sort of - future we'd have
- No, I’m sorry -
I mean, I feel your pain,
everything around me, just happened in a hurry,
people and shadows, blended entwined and blurry,
all that **** before, I didn’t mean to instigate such a worry (the eyes)
I don’t know when you developed this fury
I wish I could help
I wish I knew sooner
instead of assuming useless rumors
always clueless and using excuses
fine. I agree to not be.
but please there's some putrid humor in this
maybe I got the chance to think for myself
maybe the cards I was dealt
got me almost broke on the felt
and since every emotion I felt
since the moment we met
was new
but maybe things end
without without clear reasons
Oct 2015 · 532
really bad dreams
mikev Oct 2015
what an odd position -
- my opposition -
what was a small percentage
grew tenfold, those once instrumental
to my success, chose to withhold -
and not speak -
- true intentions - evading patience
now why i sweat and stress shaking
hands with a red face pacing
hallways making
aching to be making
something outta nothing -
- what else is new
Sep 2015 · 3.1k
the grapevines (nsfw)
mikev Sep 2015
My heads pounding
My necks twisted amuck
think I'mma stop giving a ****
Light up a blunt and do what I want -
woah wait -
ain't that the **** that got me
here in the first place?
Worst case I nervously pace
the halls for a day - two or a weekend
Blasting the weeknd
Entire enviroment reeking
shrieking -
Nah -
I'm better than that.
Can't latch onto the past.
That's the trash that got
us there at the start - instead
I prepare it in art
And share from the heart, with you.
And you.
And you and you and you.
Because why not?
It helps forget about that pinebox looming-
Thinking outside the winebox lucid -
I mean Windex, clean em out
And a win decks, stacks paper chips
You can't say this isn't some matrix blips
I am not losing ****
I am manuevering this beautiful thing
up past this ******* Nuva Ring
Cause that's life - you can get beat
or keep it on a leash - jeez
that's sexist. I don't know
where this became an accepted
comparison, its embarrassing
comparing them - to K9's
But we hear it through the grapevine
Turns of phrase we make fine.
Sep 2015 · 399
open books
mikev Sep 2015
who'd of thought
pulling her chair out
would have me
pulling my hair out?
friends say it's
nothing to be embarrassed about
we all have our unfair spouts
of bad luck or streaks, but
i swear they just do it to **** with me
what - maybe you don't understand
the damage done when things got out of hand
abandoned out of greed
and stranded out to sea
i refuse to float in hopes of finding the land that i need
to eat to breathe please
i'm used to being exposed to those losing clarity


*https://soundcloud.com/the_mjv/open-books
Sep 2015 · 741
Define: Defiled
mikev Sep 2015
the devil, It asked me too, and
I obliged with great charisma
A welcoming gesture:
Dinner
Drinks
Dancing
Laughter
Each minute lubricant tempting
anticipation in impatient people
Because why not?
The house is so quiet without the cries.
My head, so empty without the dreams.
The bed so still.
Still, I don't know you.
Sep 2015 · 296
I don't
mikev Sep 2015
https://soundcloud.com/the_mjv/i-dont*


I'm a space case
blinded by cosmic rays
And in this is space race, I want to vanish.
The first person to cultivate another planet
- wins?
So then why wouldn't I explore
behind every door and
down every corridor
just to make sure?
Ignoring warning signs -
they're not for dying stars -
Tell me why wouldn't I assume the worst -
knowing what's occurs on Earth?
mikev Sep 2015
going through that same break up twice.
Sep 2015 · 432
if Google had Parkinson's
mikev Sep 2015
does it really matter?
that I don't remember?
does it really matter?
that every minute I'm enveloped
by letters - patterns and combinations
of words making sure I comprehend where we're
headed? maybe your city is sinking
maybe you're make up isn't as pretty as you were thinking -
genetically speaking
rotting what remains on the weekends
I don't want to forget I guess
it's just what happens next I guess
it's just what happens when you're laughing
and the seconds are flashing by
You're friends are gone by the time you realize
what time it is - the lights are on
their lights are out - I should be asleep
but I can't figure out how
to get there in what's deemed a reasonable time
by the time I have to be where I'm told
I wonder how many times this will happen until
I look up to the mirror old - and grey
I was told, this would happen someday
but when? I ask -
I don't think it's too unreasonable to want to know.
mikev Sep 2015
heh, i know i'm dreaming
but i can't wake up.
she's over there
talking to the wall
and i'm still realizing it's summer time
at a beach i've never actually been too.
there's waves and sand and there she is
with eyes so hollow i can hear my echoes from them.
mikev Sep 2015
I can't afford basic income
I'm too full of selfish thoughts
honestly I'd probably just cop a quarter pound of ***
and smoke it down until my entire mind rots
and maybe other people are okay -
letting their private lives be watched - which, for me
is fine - I have nothing to hide, but don't ask
"by us or them?" when we're supposed to be on the same side.
Sep 2015 · 250
and then she said
mikev Sep 2015
pleased to meet you
you piece of meat you


ok.
Sep 2015 · 324
mate tricks
mikev Sep 2015
watch me saw her in half
but i saw half of her i wish i never had
pulled a rabid animal out of a hat
cards i can't face
dice i can't keep
coins ringing my head
i hear them say
heads or tails, no matter what
you lose
binary contradictions
wonder why nobody listens
just the reverb of your own voice
wishing you still had the option of conviction





https://soundcloud.com/the_mjv/mate-tricks
Sep 2015 · 363
foot, meet mouth
mikev Sep 2015
no tie
third button unbuttoned
bare knees
open toed shoes
but what good is it
if the yellow tape tastes like plastic
Sep 2015 · 636
blips of decay
mikev Sep 2015
somethings wrong
somethings off
the nights are short
the days are long
bleeding together
it's too raw, being together
it wasn't always awful

but what kind of basis is that for relations?
brutally escaping in even the most catered of places
chasing - those exit signs i guess
bad at following directions i guess -
so much time passed at my expense
with my ex, spent
so much energy on a situation run down
just closure after a foreclosure - back then we both
double-down on what seemed a fortune but where's the fun now?
little did i know we'd both been better off had i chose to ignore you
but of course  explore new
territory, and now it's terrifying
got gory with all the hellish lying
if you hear this, know that i am fine
better than before and
i hope the same for you
and i aim to do what i came to do
though i'm not a soothsayer
i know that i can't abandon a trail
but maybe that's what happens when
gemini tries to stand on the scales
get suspended in air -
she doesn't end in a veil
let me just end it right there.
Sep 2015 · 378
odd predicament
mikev Sep 2015
when you work with words
they hurt you worse.
some startling things can happen by
disheartening dreams through marketing schemes
- and I would've dropped out if need be
but instead I spent time and bought a degree
telling myself, debt doesn't bother me
- it's like a motivator
so when she left
I  got on the next train to Vegas -
mentally so to speak, a vacation
in hopes to hit the jackpot
maybe pay off some of the burden I racked up -
but wait, back up.
I can't just bet on a lottery -
- that behavior is odd to me
I like games I can influence and see new ends
because this sea we're in?
There's sharks in the darkness! -
they'll not give us the chance to dart and
rip us apart all heartless - and then
I begin to wonder if this
sinking feeling
is how you start the process.
Sep 2015 · 547
black licorice
mikev Sep 2015
passing strangers
with stranger angers on all their faces
i don't know why
you're all so mad.
mikev Sep 2015
I had
no sign no angels
warning me
just Satan himself
courting me
ordering
thinking
This beautiful life's
rewarding me!
me
me
horribly bordering a drunk and disorderly
currently imploring virality of spirituality
I hear them saying
we ought to be quarantined
for unseen mistakes
exploring these train-station streets late
wincing at these morbidly boring estates

Don't tell me things could be worse.
They are, for someone else, somewhere else.
Sep 2015 · 291
crossfader
mikev Sep 2015
the possibilities are endless
leaning against those city lights
Sep 2015 · 263
strobe blight.
mikev Sep 2015
words can hurt people
ways actions never could
i said, it happened
but you didn't see it
outside of your projections
Sep 2015 · 372
American Change.
mikev Sep 2015
14 years ago?
I was getting
off the bus walking
up the stairs
thinking something
was off
all day.
The low voices
The lower eyes
I was getting off that yellow bus
walking up those stained stairs
as an anxious new brother
Her feet were in the air giggling.
My mother said
(almost from the other room)
"Something has happened."
I went to make a joke
and then saw the television.
I thought it was a joke.
I wondered why.
Now I wonder how
one act of evil justified another
and another and another and another
And when
it will end.
Sep 2015 · 307
the gaze
mikev Sep 2015
puddles of flesh
warmth by liquid
splashing against insides
of veins
everything buzzes yellow
as her lips rise and tremble
her eyes, widen and resemble
clean dinner plates
the walls and floor spinning
I fall into confusion
my stomach twists
my heart drops
and the light is gone.
Sep 2015 · 434
pLAY bALL
mikev Sep 2015
JEEZ
you got a
twisted perspective
only feel alive with
kissed erections - no
missed connections - no
mixed messages - no
*** with protections - it's expected
that on the first date, I waltz over to the third base
and worst case scenario, this is just a game - right?
mikev Sep 2015
She said
I'll never do it again, I promise.
Ok.
Okay - but... how can I be so sure?
and making mistakes at my expense? how will you ever learn?
because I was aching all over while waking this morning
hands shaking as I'm taking, this medicine
I can't take this, it's making - me sick
But for whatever it's worth,
I never wrote a song for, - anyone else,
but Hell, you just glanced and smirked,
tossed it aside, and then talked about work.
Sep 2015 · 289
2%
mikev Sep 2015
2%
I'd rather forgive and forget
than live in regret -
But why do we continue
with living every minute upset?
Why do I let you,
into my head? Knowing
it's like any other stranger in the night
Exchanging insecurities
and swallowing my pride.
Please. You can keep your bad breath.
Your dusty clothes and your
unfinished jewelry.
Leaving odd marks against objects
crushed by apathy.
No regret there.
Just a bunch of windows I close
as winter gets closer.
Aug 2015 · 491
resilient love (persistent)
mikev Aug 2015
those silent seconds in the sand
the slow motion moments holding her hands
the days i spent driving down to you
to spend hours going down on you
Aug 2015 · 646
frosted flakes
mikev Aug 2015
I've fallen asleep at screens
and have had nightmares where
static snow falls and is making a snowman out of me
no - no - I beg and plead
but it happens that I can't move my feet
I look at my phone but for some reason I cannot read -
and as they trudge closer, my frozen cheeks
cracking under the winds shrieks
grow colder against my teeth, chatter
please - i don't want to be a snowman.
and then i wake up.
drenched in sweat again.
Aug 2015 · 433
alive.
mikev Aug 2015
she doesn't smile for the camera
she is the camera
she isn't determined by what you deem
**** - beautiful - alive
she
just
is
Aug 2015 · 629
crab legs for breakfast
mikev Aug 2015
who'd have thought it would take so long to drown?
last i checked i can hold my breath for about
fifteen seconds, to then pass out
but it's been fifteen months and i'm still around
so - maybe this game is more like a flame
under a slow boil i suppose
where every other day seems to be the same
and then, there it goes
something feels wrong - off
my stomach churning about to explode - watch
the thoughts - start to drift - lost it's
like old clothes strewn across the carpet - chaos
and i'm off shift racing quick trying not to get ******* car sick -
that's some hardship we were both a part of
so no, this is not home, it's just an apartment
a vacate cell, i temporarily dwell
and then ding that's it - i'm done.
mikev Aug 2015
... so how about a..

"You sure you wanna leave this page and ruin that massive masterpiece you mistakenly wrote here rather than in a document?"

                        ..window that pops up before one of my dumb fingers slips against glass?

                                   relief

that'd be fantastic.
because sadly it happened to me, yesterday.
i wrote up this giant thing
and then it got annihilated
so with that in fact let's say
that every shed of light that this poem accumulates
we put towards this - feature, okay?
and i'm well aware i don't have the greatest of reach
but sharing and liking and blaring this message deep
is just as important for this to be
successful, because please
it's stressful. not being able to speak.
knowing it was only expressed tongue in cheek.
i refuse to admit defeat.

because let's be real people.
we owe this to our future selves.




//i just realized i wrote this here right now, luckily i didn't lose it.
:p
*
//
Aug 2015 · 367
not so fast/not so bad
mikev Aug 2015
doesn't anybody even look at the sky lately?

like there's nothing between
me and this screen
- nothing.
no purpose
no moment of wit
no urgent revisions of loyal commitment -
just forget it -
- in this odd object is the origin
and the horizon
- by the time you noticed
it was already over
overwhelmed
unenthusiastic
i guess when you've been through hell
you're okay just making it to the mattress -

      but maybe you don't know.
      maybe it's not so bad.
      maybe we can get together
      and share the laughs we used to have ----

- nah.
   she said.
i got things going on
   she said.
plus it's already been so long
we might as well keep going strong -

   she said.
jeez, i mean, i guess i agree.
but look at it like this
- we already have everything we'd need.
- it could be worse, you could fall out of a tree -
- plus it's already beginning to seem, not so bad.

      don't ask me why we relapse on a kiss of the past
      when there's a smorgasbord of other organs to explore?
      sure, we could share all the laughs we used to have
      and who knows, worst of all, we could make even more -


too deep and been here before
and i didn't wanna come back
i knew she'd be on the fence
i sat in the same awkward position
going through awful images and thoughts of vengeances
exacted, exactly - I wish we could say why
so no wonder we haven't the time
to eye the sky and imagine lives
where we're happy and calm and by each other sides
no wonder we didn't do this
or find the moment to do that
and we make excuses like
"i wish time didn't move so fast."
Aug 2015 · 690
jolt sweat sigh
mikev Aug 2015
awake again always facing only blankness
throwing off the covers of her blanket statements
heart racing
I always imagined critics taking
my art seriously
- never like this though.
Aug 2015 · 297
drunk text (oop.s.)
mikev Aug 2015
just shut up and listen.
Aug 2015 · 216
Sharp T
mikev Aug 2015
what.
what off Earth did you expect?
some courageous campaign of charisma
collecting chaos in a bottle?
we drank until our insides hurt.
mikev Aug 2015
love loss?
more like blood loss -
got my wings then
shoved shocked
like a
dove tossed
to be shot - out of the sky
pushed and pulled between the lies
yeah there's nothing left once the trust is gone
and honestly
after i have had the
opportunity
to think -
i don't know if it ever even existed.
for example:
i have been digging for existence
building majestic castles in the clouds
un-wishing past convictions
and asking for forgiveness now.
but how? and by whom?
and why is the dungeon i'm in - my room?
and every single day it doesn't improve?
it worsens -
when it's just money and breath i have to lose -
I'll open a window if I need some new air -
I'll break through a window if I need some new gear -
I'd do just about anything to give you, what's fair -
but I'll stop right there
because life's not fair
you might get trampled by a stampede at the renaissance fair
just after you went and paid your fare, to stand right here
and wait your turn.
I say no. I say no.
ok maybe, I have no control as of lately.
Aug 2015 · 1.8k
LDR
mikev Aug 2015
LDR
Blue eyes, Long hair -
Her lashes
Leave lashes -
On my skin
So yeah, it's worth the drive.
Aug 2015 · 597
The Tenderloin
mikev Aug 2015
Your sky is pink.
They're eating yellow grass.

I'm at the epicenter of chaos
Syringes for the sick and
Banks robbed by viruses
*** in the palm of my hand.
The streets paved with lies
are decorated by death.
And buildings built
by policies
to build policies (to fill prophesies)

Wicked water, and open wounds
Saturated diets and broken wombs
Your sky is blue
Their water is black
Children's eyes close and never look back.
There are snakes in the sand
Lightening strikes in the distance
I can't see where I stand
And the wind smells of something vicious

Your sky is grey
The loudest one in the room is the TV
Candy and coffee for breakfast.
I'd brush my teeth
But I haven't the time, dearest Siri -
Seriously though
Sometimes I question if I'm the canary
in this binary equation
wondering when it's going to cave in
But its cool, I can be patient.
Aug 2015 · 451
backspace v. del
mikev Aug 2015
It's been another cold summer
with the
air conditioner running nonstop -
Yeah I am constantly caught up - at screen
Racing thoughts I capture them
plus
nightmares are right there
to deform ideas, but ideally
I'd die for, my ideals
Yeah
So I try to warn my peers to keep it real
But honestly, my fear is
it appears that no one wants to hear
About that ****, rather just amount to ****
Pout and *****, sulk and disconnect
I'm ******* repulsed by it - so I choose not
To follow suit and instead chase my heart -
Call a ***** a ***** and just make this art
Yeah rather that than rage for days
Yeah I'd rather work away the pain than relax distracted from the fact that we are each a slave - in one way or another
Aug 2015 · 262
I'm pretty, sure -
mikev Aug 2015
I know why we didn’t work out
Maybe when waiting is too heavy and
There’s no point in trying to pick it up anymore.
Aug 2015 · 339
dark piercing.
mikev Aug 2015
the thorns of the roses she wore in her hair
got my cheek as I tried to kiss her
Aug 2015 · 475
readme.txt
mikev Aug 2015
What is a day?
Is it sunrise to sunset?
or is it a surprise of how upset
fed up and perplexed with life you can get?
Is it a matter of minutes
divided by moments?
Or is it a matter of atoms
that shatter - exploding
Capable of causing a massive disaster
and showing - us what fear is.
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