Eighty percent of the time
I'm lusting for twenty percent of you, ***
Eighty percent of my time
I'm over thinking twenty percent of my problems - hmm,
Eighty percent of the time
I'm lost, trying to recognize twenty percent of the faces I see - huh?
Eighty percent of people I meet
Twenty percent I can actually stand
Eighty percent of my sins
Were 100% due to lack of faith.

Khhhhh
Them Mtown boys are back at it again -

Friday nights aren't what they used to be, kiddo -
My mom says, I'm like where's the ice cream?
She sighs. I laugh.
She tries, to grasp
How time, passes so fast
As I climb, into her lap -
Monday mornings aren't the same, dad says -
Getting up, bones and bed
They crack and bend, they crack and bend
I'm getting dressed, fighting not wanting
to brush my teeth -
Dad says, come on man
You don't want to end up like me

I was ahead of my time, back then
Now my stomach is a knot
I'll never untie
And these memories, and thoughts
I can't rewind, not because I never learned
But because why would I want too?

Warm coating
Plastic skin
Cold war, let me in -
I knew you then
Before the shades all fell
I knew you when
The camera lenses were still stable
Rainbow iris and
Mechanical arms, soft gears
Beautiful infrastructure -
That took off years, and added others -
I have dreams of us
still together, still together
Wrapped in blankets, our air
conditioned - our liquids hot
And romantic visits -
And you leave like
There are magnets in your hips -
And you breathe like
Magic leaves your lips -
I love the darkness, the depth of your mouth
Baby, please
Come home, and let me out.

I'm over you.

Serving birds
Got me walking on egg shells
If I don't skimp
Night class, I might last
I bike back - alone
To build this nest
To leave this place in the past
To see you smile
I'd wish away, the world -
Got a fortune
Zip locked in a locked locker
This is torture
Making love, I just watch her
Smile.

You're so cute. She says.
You were always cute. But
something changed
recently -
I blame it on the inescapable entropic breakdown of your immune system, I think
Even the rising sun knows it's doomed
Even a newborn, leaving the womb
can choke on the umbilical cord
And if the doctor isn't fast enough
Well she's gone.
So what do you think?
What?
I said. Perplexed. Obviously.
She was lifting her shirt midrift available and a familiar dark ink etched into her flesh.
It's a bird, I got it for you.

Let's go for a walk, my love,
The air is full of Blue Jay's
The music is a new familiar type
of hypnosis, I kiss dollar bills folded into swans as I throw them into fountains at malls -
Yes, we'll all float on
Whether it's in the ocean
Face down, a new ecosystem of love
and death, and mossy micronutrients
bubbling popping into rainclouds
Ah yes. I love a good margarita after a long day.

A chicken, white ****
Red vulnerable neck pecking
The dirt, for a spec of life
A rusted tractor and gasoline air
Fat and flat tires, and weeds everywhere
Where I come from isn't pretty.
But neither are we.
Pudgy damp fingers in every jar of mayonnaise, licking your lips
Like a dog at a dinner table
Like a wall shaking in the night
A window cracked full of opportunity
The spare change I gave away
The freezer burn on my ashes
The static hiding behind a full moon
A vapid hole in the sky, I'll fill someday.

I'm sick of eating organic
sometimes I just want to eat the face off a dead squirrel -
That's what we call McDonald's where I'm from.
Not really though.
Sometimes I think about my eating habits as a child, and what was allowed
My God great good Lord capitalized I did on milk duds and mountain few
I got so sick into a sink
Putrid fluorescent bile
It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.
My mind had a mind of its own!

they are multiplying
growing
and splitting, at the seems of sadness
glowing screens and madness
it happens, a lot
you're distracted, a lot
and I'm attracted, to thoughts
of where i'm trapped into -
accidents -

The cameras got there too fast.
Me and you?
We weren't too last -
Then metals bent, and glass shattered

kiss the ring of the employer
holy matrimony, me?
join ideas with a ******?
I'll go grey hair as long as I can stand here.
and watch.
Listen. I'm okay with this.
it's there when I need it
it's there when I don't
it's in the air I'm breathing
it's in my hands my hair and my scalp
it's behind my eyelids and in my mouth
it's all the violence, in the South
It's black on white crime
It's money inside politics
It's a sweaty lipstick ******* in San Francisco
It's you
It's me
It's America, it's the whole ******* planet I say -
Where scientists are the only ones who don't sin -
Not the religists, or people who's kids go to elementary schools that cost more than my college degree I now only know I didn't need
It's the color wheel
It's everything
And it's mine, please.
Please Please Please.

It's funny how
We can learn
To love what
We always told
Ourselves to hate
It's sad how
We can learn
To hate what
We always told
Ourselves to love

And let the sun cook you like a ham sandwich
Swallow the salty water of temptation
Gag on your fingertips
And cry endlessly for salvation like a feral cat in the night
Kiss the moon, and cut the sky
Roll your car over at eighty miles per hour
Laughing and crying but laughing

I didn't know my own strength
(I should have known how weak you are)
I had a bad dream last night
(I think you're cheating on me)
I have so much work to do
(Let's stay in and have *** all day)
I miss the swingsets of my youth
(The way you breath so loud ****** me off)
You can do better than that
(I'm definitely more insightful than you)
I'm sorry
(I'm sorry for now)

Everyone dies alone.
When you close your eyes, for the last time
I want to be there, holding you hand
Knowing, you'll be happier after this
This unfamiliar blackness passes -
It's nothing you did, my love
This is by divine design -
Don't fear the air opening up a pathway
into voices familiar, colors unseen
and unspoken, and eyes that feel ecstasy
And when warm chills kiss your temples
and cool liquid wraps around your arms
When your legs go limp but heavy
and your heart is merely a memory?
I will love you, I will love you
I will love you like a city is noise
I will love you like the stars are static
I will love you, from so far away
with patience, and acceptance
And I will love you, with a damp teal
cloth patting against your forehead
I will love you, as the hospital bed
becomes a poem, and the poem becomes something more -
I will love you, I love you.

She puts what where?
He says yes too?
She doesn't listen well.
He tries, but doesn't have too.

i am a shadow of a person
of the person i was
standing hunched over
come back to me, my love
a failed salesman
an honest street pusher
a broken window
a piece of pavement hot
and walked all over
i didn't ask for this
but i do deserve it.

I miss when I could see better in the darkness, I said
almost tripping over a root
That could go to any one of these trees, I thought loudly -
I miss when it meant something
what time of day or day of week it was
Oh what a joy it was.
Connecting to a piece of time
That by the time I noticed it, it had already vanished.
I was somewhere new.
So no, I already told you.
I don't remember where I was.

Another poem you'll never read
Another night I run on all fours
Wild and free.
Another car in the driveway
That was never made
A neighborhood my self conscious subconsciousness
somehow decided to create -
Two male bodies that bear no threat
But to me and my dealings my stomach upset -
Another kiss I never thought I'd taste -
Like flat rinsed toxins running across my face -
My eyes and fingertips forced together
Please don't wake me up
I wish to stay with you forever.

I would still love you
if my heart stopped beating
and I would still love you
if you told me you'd be leaving
I would still love you
if you dreamt of another
And I would still love you
if you told me it wasn't, working
See, maybe that's what's wrong with me
Maybe the doctors are right
It's a brain disease, OCD
I watch you free, through a window
Only I can see - I can see
a future where we embrace arms
share a place in Manhattan Beach
and make love by the water
I'd still love you
if I only had a tent
I'd still love you
No matter where we went
I'd still love you
if my hair went grey
And I'll still love you
Until my dying day -
I'm a star, or so I'm told
A person who's mind is much more old,
Than this skins tells, I've been through hell
And I'm still fighting for this
I'm living in the past
But looking forwards -
You told me, you'd still love me
If I changed genders -
I think that's something
I'll always remember -
Because I'll still love you
No matter what you are
I'll still love you
No matter your skin your hair
Your gender your art
I'll still love you

I watch you roll over in ecstasy
Eyes full black like moons of sin
Liquid venom pouring from your lips
I want to taste the nectar of hatred
Self inflicted wounds
and poetry written in musky rooms
Where the air is as stale
as the coffee is as bitter as
the neighbors teeth broken as
the fan blowing breathing dust
into our lungs as we sleep
Please don't let go, I said
4 weeks prior, please don't
3 weeks left until I expire, please
don't leave me, 2 days you say
You love me, you love me
She loves me, she loves me.

I can see you through this heavenly body
Eternal static to me
is death and life to you
A spec of light
An ocean with depths completely untouched by human skin
My heart beats with anticipation
Sweat beading and tear falling
Hands shaking and thoughts racing
I'd tell you I'm sorry
I'd tell you I didn't know my strength
I'd beg for forgiveness for
exploiting your weaknesses
like a glass bottle broken into a children's sandpit, like a design so flawed
You lived with it.
I can't live with this.

Poison, poison
she used to tell me I was poison
to everyone, but to her
I was medicine
ah we met in sin
about six drinks in
she used to whisper smirk I was perfect
with red cheeks
tip of your tongue in between teeth
I was an open book
she used to call to say goodnight
and call to say I'm poison
and used to call to cry and tell me she's sick
she used to call and tell me I make it better
she used to call
she used to call
she used to call me poison
And now the phone doesn't move
like the eyes of an insect out of reach,
I'm poison.

It's been a year since we've talked.
I've always had **** luck come July.
This year, though, everything is new.
The people the places
The conversions the food.
This time, I know you won't call from across the universe.
But I have to believe the night sky is more than this static echoing back my own fears.
I know you would answer if I rang.
I know you'd smile and smile
Maybe laugh and ask how I've been all this while.
Well. I've been busy.

I'm not broken.
And even if I was,
doesn't that imply I can be fixed?
I can be fixed!
I can be fixed!

I miss when the president of the United States was a person I'd respect,
Instead of just a worthless derelict -
Preying on the problems of the poor -
Praying this will
solve it, as I pour -
This glass
half empty - all out -
Not much to lose now?
They say an enemy of my enemy,
is a friend, well...
Pyongyang? Here we are.
Biscuits, and blankets, ants and all.
Melting on your tattered crimson.
What do we do, when the poltergeist comes to life?
When the music becomes light,
and the light becomes shade, oh Lord
I'm giving up all of my vices today!
But I'm afraid, it's too late.

Where we come from
I'm not so sure
When I was growing up
I was always left with a loss for words
Someone else
Writing my script
Someone else
Deciding I live
I say no.

she used to tell me I was poison
to everyone but to her
I was medicine
we met in sin
six drinks in
she used to tell me I was perfect
with red cheeks
I was an open book
she used to call to say goodnight
and call to say I'm poison
and used to call to cry and tell me she's sick
she used to call
she used to call
now the phone doesn't move
I'm poison

In one motion
I pulled a flower from the Earth
Brought it to my face
And threw it over my shoulder
You laughed with your lips and eyelashes
My other hand I took a drag of a cigarette
and spit salvia through my teeth at the dirt
Soup salad and break sticks baby
Iced coffee honey
You want it now baby?
In this patch of grass honey?
You always do this **** she said.
You always make me feel stupid.
{maybe that's because you are}
You always make me feel like it's never good enough.

My nails are too long
My hair is greasy
I have bags under my eyes
And my clothes smell like smoke
My jacket is wrinkled and stained
My socks have holes in the fabric
I miss the way you used to sleep
Eyes open, I knew the feeling too well
I was so fresh pressed back then
Clean shaven and new kicks
I had slept like a dog on a summer night
You came over late back then
I didn't think much of it
You didn't care if I didn't call
You didn't ask questions about where I was
I didn't think twice
Man, I miss the good life.

Sometimes  -
I wish I could Photoshop my life  
Instead of snapchatting every lonely birthday cake,
covered in dried wax because when I went to make a wish -
I didn’t know where to start.
A new camera?
A shiny bright white microwave?
World peace? A hand to hold without
someone else pointing fingers at me?
By the time I was ready to blow,
the static had already had us -
Like a volcano sinking into the ocean
I wanted more than anything to burst new land -
but I fizzled -
Sometimes I want to meet someone off Tinder
Right here and right now
plan to have *** and fall in love.
Sometimes I think that the only people who marginalize us
is ourselves - like when
You and I broke up, it felt like the galaxy started to get pulled in the wrong direction
Like - some alien black matter wanted whatever piece of light I had left,
and I almost let go. But if almost’s and black holes
were the same, I wouldn’t still be here.
Something balanced out.
And then ironically, I saw you at a gas station
Pulled over. You said you’d been missing me.
That’s when I saw the mathematics of the environment.
Binaries that gave way to greater purpose.
A reason to rhyme, I’d found it.
Completely astounded, I allowed it,
to take over every shred of second I had left on this clump of dirt.
Isn’t it amazing -
That some days, weeks even
I’ll wake up, in a daze, weak, not notice a bottle of water
on a table, or desk - and there are days
I will go without water, head ringing before bed
And I’m wondering why, water is gathering dust
my will to continue with you going dry - wondering why
wondering why it went down like it did
why, you were so caught on by something your mother said years ago.
For ****'s sake, had she been high?
Or at least tripping over her own ego -  we will never know.
But that’s something I see every day.
People who smile, to get a smile
To smile, and I just smile back

What is a love unspoken?
Is it as alive as the love captured by cameras like lasso's on wild animals?
Never tasted a cage -
Or is it like the sky
You see constantly
But couldn't comprehend if you had half the facts.
Is it too much for those involved to express?
Or is it the others you're afraid of?
What is a love unspoken?

The sky is falling!
Just watch
Your significant other falling for another lover -
Don't fall for the scam of the century
They don't want you to know
There's better out there.

it's a high you never came down from
its a painting you forgot about
it's a childhood friend you forgot about
it's knowing why, but not knowing when

I don't wanna wait, she said
Throwing her hands like a child
I had to turn away
I couldn't
Deal
With
It.
Her... Innocence, we'll call it...
(More on that later) had me sick
Like, here's someone who
Thinks they know it all,
But lives with mommy and daddy,
Pays for a tanning bed - and
smokes occasionally, and
brushes her eyelashes on the road - she's
On a family phone plan
Doesn't talk to her sister
And tells me she doesn't know like most bands,
I mention. That's cool, I say.
There's so many it's tough to keep up with.
She smiles with her eyes lips pursed,
ready for the taking.
I tell her, I can't, I have to go
- ***, first.

Do you ever think the wind gets a second chance so why can't you?

So, there's this girl I like.
I mean, I just met her.
But I think I like her.
I mean, I like the way she stands,
like her shoulders can withstand
whatever avalanche of accident happens.
I like the way her eyes glance at the floor.
I like the ways she demands without a word.
But so much to say.
I must muster a way.
Without learning to just lust her and play.
The same game week after week
I get weak seeing we, are losing ourselves.
We, looking for something great
I forget what I have, and I have it all.
Nothing but opportunity.
Vigor and spit vinegar and wit.
I willing to commit.
Everything I have to get.
For now.

glass shatters
and i wake up with black shackles
laughs cackles
spit and *****
the last battles - anyone of us want to fight
my stomach is in my throat
but i gotta keep what i have down
otherwise i might pass out - i lay down
don't make sound - because problems arise
when they're walking by
so dodge the eyes and pray for life -
well, no - i mean
pray for release - let's just lay in these sheets
that was what you said when you woke up the thirteenth
sun coming through the drapes and dust in the air
usually i'm not a fan so i won't tell if you don't but how i long for a breathe - of that air
but believe - thoughts like that are not fair -
i'm lost here - how it happened doesn't matter
but i had to ask you honey
do you wish it went different?

they all told me that
actions speak louder than words
but as i got more confident i observed
that somehow actually got more reserved
like a formal verse was more normal? sure -
but let's explore the blurb
i'm speaking right now
the sort of world, where i wonder
do you hear my voice as noise, or me?
trying to get this off my chest
i lift to expose the things
that have frozen me, in dreams, of need -
infatuated with a better life, why
i am - gravitating towards the sun
and yes when the timing is right
i'll fly into the night and never return -
'cause all i see
are people killing people and
evils being refilled, and i don't see (this eye candy) -
why this gotta be the case
why you never wanna face
real reality without a base
without a vase, i'd rather push flowers
without a trace, watch the sour vanish within hours
taste the fast life, kiss of death
last night, almost wished for less
complexity - i mean, i need a breath.

i want to take your breath away
i thought as i saw her smile, silence
and grass bending in the breeze
her eyes press together with patience
and readiness for 'the next moment
i want to take her breath away
squirming and bumping shoulders
her mouth cracks a smile so genuine
i almost freeze up stop but i know her already
i want take your breath away
as were talking holding hands on sidewalks
below reflective towers bellowing promises
but her voice is a dove on a sunday morning
as i'm looking through the screen porch
at a dim mist i realize
you took my breath away

what happened to you?
we used to talk about
women in sundresses, panoramic views in
sunglasses smoking cigarettes with gold necklaces
now you looking at me - I'm wondering
when did this
splintered finger nailed on a skeleton come from?

ten digits are what make up my being
echoes across a canyon that divides
you can't touch me baby don't even try
don't you see? i only exist in your mind -
i'm a little short on good news these days
i hear people talking about what just bad food can do to you for days -
blood sweat and tears i must say, i've trudged past these years, in one way
or another - reality is a struggle
when you judge a book by it's cover
swear they're shook, don't even bother -
catatonic - i catapulted past your walls - vibrating on a
higher frequency frequently i'm eagerly
willing to work, it's killing me envisioning
all the time your killing or worse - yourself
poisonous serpents sitting in my lawn
peering in my windows waiting for dawn
barely make it to the sidewalk and i yawn -
wanna walk back inside and hide my thoughts -
why? you don't ever call me, never - no
why? you said you would but it's been some time, i know -
why you don't ever, call me never - no
you already tried to take what's mine, i know -
see - you can't and you won't

What kind of friend breaks in and lies?
[[[      Man, that ain't a friend
          that's just a guy who's trying
          to stay by your side while you're supplying
          a good time and -
          then he's onto bigger and better things ]]]
****. Sit for a second before I tie shoe strings
You trippin' if you don't listen to my new flings
See, I'm surprised you ain't - addicted to some syringe -
See - I too, tried being true and clean
but this addictive personality just went and ruined me
Had to come back twice as hard
Press the keys that write the Lord
I know that I'm likely more - bound for Hell
Close my eyes and hear a thousand yell
Skeletons ask for my good help - my good word,
is all I got - I wanna apologize, but I do not
knowing all along you decide, what you want

You hurt me when you say you don't want to talk to me right now
Saying that because I can't be where you are something must be wrong with my heart
You hurt me when you say let's split the bill
Because otherwise you know I wouldn't be thrilled
You get me down
Even though I barely know you
You get me down
Feeling like I belong below you
You get it now?
She says, with a look of surprise
So condescending she couldn't deny
If I ask, but instead I let time pass
And swallow my pride along with this wine fast

whispering and quivering
is how i wish to spend my Sunday
afternoon as i wake
i curse the clock and tomorrow
but your breath on my neck washes away the sorrow
until next time
close your eyes

I wanted to help you.
But you just wanted help.

Happens when you work late -
He told me.
You just lose track of time -
(sometimes)
You can't help but
Look up and ask
"How the hell did I get here?"

I'm strategic.
Watching the dominoes fall
before the air kisses the first
Listening to the cards slide
against the felt and pressing that
beautiful edge against my unquenchable fingertips -
Yeah, I figured I shrug smiling -
Looking -
Over my shoulder.
I'm paranoid.
Who's next to fall? I ask.
There's always a Brutus around us
And I can tell somethings surrounding
That whole thing you got there.
That stare. That lack off air
When you breathe, couldn't care less about my stress, so why should I believe
Anything you say.
I'm alone.
I don't care. As long as
I stay in control all is fair
to lose in war, my love removed before
I'm still moving more
And improving for - a future.
Don't worry about me.
I'm better than fine.

there's this Girl
i like.
She comes  by  once every
Thursday night, Six o'clock
Pulling in right in front in her
White Mercedes car -
She's always on time.
Meanwhile I'm late, but -
Cursing cruising down the interstate -
Weaving up lanes and weazing up smoke -
She's already at my place
And she's ready to go.
I think -
I love -
her.
But there's no way she feels the same.

*** i love this song!
- backing up the volume drops - ugh.
D - for drive, I rewind the track
S - sport mode, I never ran track
Skipped my exercises last night -
Binged on gluten.
Catatonic at a parallel universe.
Eyes glazed over, I barely comprehend
the plot, it's cool, this crowded room
voices over mine, I never know what to do.
I could clean. I could learn.
I could believe. I could earn.
Instead I relieve and I burn.
Because it seems, I have a date with an urn.
**** **** ****.
Outta My Way - if my boss calls
What am I to say?
I overslept? I felt sick
these are the cards I was dealt
I can't help this.
But this Toyota  couldn't go any slower
I swear!
Move your *** over before a new one I tear!
Sorry, grandma. I didn't mean to be such a cancer on society. I didn't see you there.
But the guy on the right side of me, holding up the *******, what irony.
He's not watching the road.