going through that same break up twice.

does it really matter?
that I don't remember?
does it really matter?
that every minute I'm enveloped
by letters - patterns and combinations
of words making sure I comprehend where we're
headed? maybe your city is sinking
maybe you're make up isn't as pretty as you were thinking -
genetically speaking
rotting what remains on the weekends
I don't want to forget I guess
it's just what happens next I guess
it's just what happens when you're laughing
and the seconds are flashing by
You're friends are gone by the time you realize
what time it is - the lights are on
their lights are out - I should be asleep
but I can't figure out how
to get there in what's deemed a reasonable time
by the time I have to be where I'm told
I wonder how many times this will happen until
I look up to the mirror old - and grey
I was told, this would happen someday
but when? I ask -
I don't think it's too unreasonable to want to know.

heh, i know i'm dreaming
but i can't wake up.
she's over there
talking to the wall
and i'm still realizing it's summer time
at a beach i've never actually been too.
there's waves and sand and there she is
with eyes so hollow i can hear my echoes from them.

I can't afford basic income
I'm too full of selfish thoughts
honestly I'd probably just cop a quarter pound of ***
and smoke it down until my entire mind rots
and maybe other people are okay -
letting their private lives be watched - which, for me
is fine - I have nothing to hide, but don't ask
"by us or them?" when we're supposed to be on the same side.

pleased to meet you
you piece of meat you


ok.

watch me saw her in half
but i saw half of her i wish i never had
pulled a rabid animal out of a hat
cards i can't face
dice i can't keep
coins ringing my head
i hear them say
heads or tails, no matter what
you lose
binary contradictions
wonder why nobody listens
just the reverb of your own voice
wishing you still had the option of conviction





https://soundcloud.com/the_mjv/mate-tricks

Jealousy is a sad thing to go through.
I can't go see him without feeling
Awkward since I'm not
His student anymore nor
Do I feel like I'm
As special cause
He has others
In my
Place.

I wish I were yours again.
It's a terrible feeling,
Jealousy.