Write what I know? I am pocked with
chunks of broken moments.
Bits fall to the ground, trip me.
The terrain of my youth is a
moonscape. I know what I know in
the craters of this place.
Born on the darkside and thirsty, I was
cold. I found the sun later when I
was tumbled out the door of my
Mother’s leaking house. Her screams
had become tentacles of maniacal
music. Or do not call it music for
if you heard it you would not dance.
I am old now. The view from my landing
is filled with sunlight and children,
“There are children in the leaves,
laughing excitedly”. (Eliot)
I am paused in this imagination on
occasion.
When she is quiet,
I sweep her under the porch
where she lies drunk and unlaughing.
I do not let her out. Yet she
steers me. Her corpse loud
in her ***** nightdress.
The terrain of my old age is pitted
with the debris of this haunting. She
unsings me, makes me lie in
craters from which I climb up
daily only to tumble back down,
to have to begin again
from the bottom each new **** day.
But I sing as I crawl. And
she does not like the sound of that
Caroline Shank