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A plane made of tin cans soars in flames through the sky.
Black smoke trails its tail as it plummets to ground.
I stand.
I watch.
              unfazed.
The nose of the jet crashes to  the earth and it burst,
into tin butterflies,
which undoubtedly, to the skies they return.
                                                         ­                      I wake.
in the same room,
in the same bed.

the same place was I, when the sun rose,
and dove into the horizon.

the same sky,
the same clouds.

the same smell of the sewage rising through the streets I trek.
the same people at the corner store that check,
for loose cigarettes, gossip, trash talk and street knowledge I bet.

I forget.
I'm confused.

What may be normal for you may differ for me,
when gang members intimidate everyone they see,
on the crowded concrete streets of Broad St,
bums ask for change for something to eat,
then run to store like ***** for cigarette.

Is this "Normal" for you?
for me, its as plain and repetitious as a scratched CD.

I wish you could borrow my soul to understand me.
Live like you're drunk.
Love like you're drunk.
Have *** sober.
My tongue turns numb to excessive drinking of cheap liquor and ***.

Cold Fire Liquid touches my lips,
dances with my tongue,
slides down the chute of mine throat,
into the pond of digestion.

squinted eyes, foul breath,
cup in one hand while the other cups breast.
sit in daze while animals make mess.
start conversation I will surely forget.

forget what taste tastes like; all tastes of leather.
must try to dance with grace of feather
a curios thought and sentence of irony,
"this is a night to remember"

finally I take off to home of mine.
time I check on mine wrist,
words rise from my watch and say, "BLISS"
then dissipate into a "liqoury" mist.

I treck cracked streets like creature risen from grave.
I ***** through the streets.
give route was what I gave,
to crack fiends, thief's, hoodlums, and they
saw a sloshed 17 year old and thought, "mah boi chillin tadai"

but just to be honest that never happened...
                
...but it might today
Sweat rolls down my back in a hot white room.

A very large fan that blows nothing but more hot air.

My lights are off and into my t.v I stare.

i'm restless.
I cant sleep...
                       ...I didn't eat...
                                                 ....did some laundry...
why don't I feel clean....

I shower...
                 ...the dirt on my head
...on my chest...
...on my arms...
...travel with the water to the trunks that be mine legs...

..naked...wet..
                          ...free...
          ...content...
satisfied?
                ...I am.
I begin to sing...
                            ...random words that a warm shower can bring.

my soap; My mic.
my shower head; My camera man.
my bathtub; My Stage

reluctant to turn the *** of my shower, I am.
but I do.

I step through the thick layer of steam,
that makes it slightly difficult to breath.

but I wanted to stay with my heat.
the heat of moisture and steam.

I sit on my toilet and enjoy the tropical atmosphere in my bathroom.
I begin to whistle an exotic tune.
I tap my feet to the rhythm of my hands.
now I've become a one man band playing for kicks amongst an island in the Caribbean.
salsa,
          merengue,
                             bachata,
all of a sudden I noticed how warm and calm I was.
how happy and jolly I was.
how I felt so "irishy" and "springy"

I dress myself without drying my body and I stare into the mirror with a smile on my face.

I open the door, everything became dark again.
I put my dirt caked clothes inside my hamper.
my clothes felt damp.
I took off my shirt.
I turned off my lamp.
popped in a dvd.

and stared into the portal of entertainment intently.

Sweat rolls down my back in a hot white room.

A very large fan that blows nothing but more hot air.

My lights are off and into my t.v I stare.

i'm restless.
I cant sleep...
a bucket of water is in front of me.
half full to be exact.
my mother was sick in her room.
I knew how to bring her health back.
a handful of dirt
                              ....dandelions and moss fluff...
              ...a bushes leaves and some other nasty stuff...
puddle water and my dogs chew toy...
                   for flavor...
banana peels and orange peels
and exract of rose...
i amcompletelety sure this will make my mother feel 18 again...
       or so my 5 year old brain assumed.
the fume of my potion smelled of a polluted ocean in a very unpopular beach.
the smell of low tide and the texture of as snails body.
mommy was sleeping.
pacing my steps
                            ...very....
                                           ...quietly...
                                                             ...i apprached my mommy with the ocean potion...
                        ...dipped my 5 year old hand in the pulpy potion with chew toys
peels
mud
   ...shivers reeled through my skin...
but i had to make sure my mommy would be mommy again.
    " mah..." i whined
              "maaaaa..MAAAAAAAH!"

as quickly as i screamed was as quickly as she awoke

she saw the potion and took a whiff of my improvised concoction and bolted to the bathroom

"oh poo.." i thought. "i shouldve added mushrooms"
I have no reason to write.
however my muscles move my fingers,
my muscles urge my wrist-
BLAH
          BLAH
                    BLAH...
the pathetic attempt of sophisticated literary rag tag rhyming is giving me a headache.
why should i tie words with words of little meaning?
why should i disturb your peace with problems ive released to millions of strained eyes staring at a computers screen.

i apologize...

to make you read about what annoys me...

Reader...
             ...forgive me...
now you know i think pesimistically.
along with all the other millions of strained eyed thinkers like me.
    how i think that if i invite thee to party within a profile  of this website so you could see that i cant sleep and tie words with words of little meaning.
crazy me.
thats what i be.
my thoughts at 3 a.m.
      lovely time to write, no?
what would life be like...
                                        ...if we lived for one day?
How would you...
                                 ...waste away?
What could you do...
                                    ...that didnt seem like such a waste?
Would you spend the first-day-of-the-last-day-of-your-life texting....
                                                                         ....or watvhing t.v?
Making love?
                                                                                                ...or having ***... very roughly.

Make yourself a memory for every iris to bloom with you in mind?
                      or be a nightmare for your generation...?
**** their Rest in Peace.
                                            ...they will remember me....

Im not so sure when it comes to me...
                                                                 ...frankly for 17...
                                            ...I do nothing...
I write poetry...
pollute my lungs daily...
read?  maybe...
make love to the lady i promised myself i would marry?

Donate my organs...
                                     from every vein...
                        ...to every synapse in my brain...
                                  ...let me be of use...
OR START A WAR AND GIVE THE WORLD HATE AND BLOOD.....
no...
thats silly...the opposing sides will be dead on the same day they decided their differences will make their faces remebered someday.

peace...
             ...instinct...
                                 ..could lead us..
..calmy..
no time to learn nor explain

Let us..
             ..birth..
                          grow..
                                     live..

and die....
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