pick the words simply
pick the words gently
pick them wisely

I will not think about it
there is no way, really to tell those stories

of beatnik couples who lead their lives with shaved heads
chorus dancing on their shoulders
and the smell of faint jasmine coming from their beds

drenched couples dark eyes and long hair
family affairs and endless nights of dislodgement and despair
grunted, shrieked, rolled in the mud
screamed mercy as I gasped for air

the grass rubbed against each other, only but slightly
whispers purge through the willow
the soul is stretched on the ground in essence beneath the feet
a coffin is sorely hushed into the grave
mothers silent thoughts fill heavy in the wind
it was that silence that took that life
it was not the knife
or the blade
it was that silence

they laid on the field till hormones injected sounds
that clung to the ground
that composed the life of one being in two
mirror smiles, and souls sacred
sacrifice forbidden
the sacrifice will happen
we fool ourselves so our tears will hurt less
hands pressed against chest
why am I like this

who are we

this forest is stained with calmly matter
this forest is stained with saddened childhoods
stained with empty fathers and raging mothers
hearts are stained
lives are stained

ticking time bomb
drenched, wedding dress with immobility
drained, tuxedo with non sense
only to wake up 20 years later with
adultery splattered on your genitals
chaos imprinted on your fingers in every language
and then dismembering,
built with tyranny
falling apart limb by limb like a cremated body
seconds pass as if you were drowning
to come out of the water
is to risk everything
do you want to live


there is no excuse for your masquerade
your so called love parade, your color filled renegade
brittle bones sit staggered along the skin
of a youthful resident
who will cry no more at lucrative behavior
of taunt gestures and a underlying laughter
that only similar skin can touch
with its own experience and understanding
on that thing that sometimes looses its meaning
beneath conventional skies

I am a human, I am not a human
a soul love love
I witnessed that
suffocated between similar height
and jawline

I need you to set palms together
entangle generosity like raindrops connecting
branch out and cling your roots into the soil
blossom like cherry trees in japan
quiver like the heart of a 10 year old girl
who just witnessed love for the first time

melt, like the man who was raised with
hatred in his heart and has melted for the
first time on top of his wifes grave

scream, the screams of the native americans
upon the burning of their villages and
the rotting of their tribe, the tyranny of their land
my tongue hurts to say
this is my land
I feel it was never ours
it was theirs

laugh, like the children
and remember there are children in remote places
that have a pain in their eyes that we thought can only exsist within elderly
who know not the sound of a tender smile
remember that youth, when your children give out that glorious sound
and do anything to make that melody even louder
let your children laugh for those who dont know how
and raise them to seek them and teach them
even if it is through tears of thanks
that is the most beautiful laughter
the deepest happiness is that which comes with rain
the kind that extracts pain and cleanses the soul
washes the face and kisses the cheeks


dream and have hope like the small child sitting at the window at midnight way past
bedtime with bruised legs
promising themeselves that everything will be okay
with no shoulder to lean on
staring at the stars and having a clear image of the better
days to come, away from abuse and neglect
yes there are children like that
and there are also children
who scream into their pillow at night
remember to cradle the youth
they are the future
you are the future, living through your young



feel every intensity within your body
hold it there for just some time
cradle it
laugh with it
sing with it
dance with it
cry with it
bleed with it
and mourn it when it is not there

remember that, that intensity
is your humanity

did you become a monster trying to be like me
love found,
our bitter catastrophe
I announce in small tongues
because I am far past shy
I dwell below the medium of discreet
I fell for that
that
which will never fall for me

secret bliss shared in corners of my mind
to be gazed upon by wolves
devoured in the late night sky

I travel with your mind in my mind
I do understand none of this will ever
be redefined
but I carry you within me regardless
of the bad times

touch the ill pale stricken love side
dive in midnight incubus pools
we lived in the most blackened of times
we drank what was not
but to me, the most red of wine

I sink into the thought of you
you do not love me anymore

I was torn behind you
shredded like pieces of cloth
buried deep into the cemetary in your soul
lost that woman who believed in romance and goth
I smear the dirt from against my cheek
you should see the sadness within me
the ****** blood tangent
the ****** of naked torture
I cover my privates
there is nothing left to hide
prisoners try to escape
I dwell here, numb with the thought of you  

my hands trail behind me

Im going to die
Im going to die right here
admitting this beneath me

tonight
a few hours
man
haunted
kissed
shoulders
hair
trailing
age


there is something hidden between the refined
lips of a staggered feline
tramped like irony against my soul
a birthmark
a cure
hurt
hurt



no escaping
trapped
whole


the understanding
the love that gives out a sigh of death
a sigh of disowning
a sigh of painful living
endured upon me like knives
punching
peircing
reminding
every single drought stricken day

I lay upon my pillow gently
oh yes
I give into all this pain
what else can I do with my small hands that were left
wrinkled and have become prune from living in your rain
what has become of the sickness
the splattered guts and the vain

suffer
detachment
drunk
comfort
drowning
smile nervously
smile hesitantly
smile
remorse
beg
hurt


how can I ever come to play
simply spread my meaning
simply tell the tale of where my soul went when you had gone astray
packed your bags and got on the closest highway
with the word
gay
dripping out the side of my brain
hands curved next to my cheek
fingers twisted
heat overwhelming
panting
screaming

I have learned you

stitched lips

swim in the redness of the fruitility
that leaks itself like perched pedals
falling
exuberent/ burgundy
pale and translucent like the water in pure places
from your
wrists

tuned into the old jukebox
laughter shining things like
why wasnt I around when this was invented
right here, eyes pressed upon that sky
belittled, torn like a rag placed upon a tree of thorns
then tugged

reality breaks the seal
people put up shutters to block out the noise
they knew it wouldnt hit hard
but these animals think they are of some greater
power

its my turn, thoughts scatter like ants on the dining table
I grab my Q and gently hit the 8 ball, I remember when that man told me
to always go soft arrogance never got nobody somewhere good
I miss
was that a lie
?

perched on the stool going into reclusion in mind
what if
what if
the world was filled with nothing but
sylvia, anne, khalil, ghandi, Vincent Millay,
olds, ginsberg, abraham, lennon

what if our energies never fluctuated
in the nervous patterns that lead to the
exhaustion and you never let yourself fall
into that place we as writers promised to never
be,
driven far from complexities
tuned into conventional
inspired, but not really inspired

I bow my head farewell
smiles brought forth to my lips
as the positive is extracted
stable lives
t.v nights
no fights

redeemed when looking in the mirror
touching
your cheeks
rubbing your thumb on your lower
lip, examining all of those things that make you woman
that make you beautiful

everyone is beautiful
lovely tunic in their own way
let it be one small characteristic
one disposable action
one smile is a charity given

pride presents wistful sayings of abloshied tyranny hidden between
your gracious lovers and those 3 stars viewable from any place in the world
men with eyes full of hatred glanced upon them
children with tears in their souls

I loosened the knots of active  promiscuity drawn on the
face of the most indistinguishable and demonic paintings
hung in the highest places in my living room/ I burned the house
ambrosia dripping along my legs,
your mascara, scarred on my fingers
lipstick smeared on vintage walls fill the narrow
hallways in the bones of beasts sitting in high trees
in the alabaster forests of our dreams

laying so still, motionless
afraid to speak a word
one finger might break your skin
then eyes light
and smiles are emitted
like beautiful wedding nights
where its raining, no clouds
and a full moon

depart fruitful stances
I sit dreary in the airport
what summer love may summer bring
upon me, discreet soul
blackened tongues
long nights, made short
gags and hands thrown in the sky
kiss you
pretty
goodnight.

I walk away from the pool table, lost second time in a row
who cares, I have time to get better
maybe next time I should halt random infusions
pause my unstable mind
for a poets thoughts such things are considered
a crime

Tonight

drenching
you

from my

body

is forbidden

thoughts pressed against my stomach
as it caves in

I am the *******
the cornered drunkard lingering bottomless
on the side of the liquor store
the dreadful ex wife
that is me

a small face
with mascara running down
her cheeks
smiling

awfully.

an exchange of a few words
turning like sirens racing to save a dieing moon
in the fury of the morning
when birds sing and hearts align
like glorious mummies in the grave
decomposed
and awaiting the words of the curse to be uttered
by some love stricken woman carrying the burden
of the perfect day that withered away like
the snow in the summer underneath
tarnished melodies sung by the greatest of our time
my jawline contracts with the wind
the secrets of the invisibility rushes like the night
there is no stopping this truth from unraveling in front
of me like the baby coming out of the mothers womb
there is not stopping this fight
I hardened underneath the pale sun
like clay
turned
molded pottery
crafted by the music that rested upon me and
tough family nights where my father would bang on the door
I became stone

chosen
enduring like flowers who break to open
and reveal the most female of their colors
brushing chastity upon my charred heart
I become soft again
cradled in the arms of nature and her tragedy
that has grown far worse than any I have ever seen
her beauty
magnificent
and how she endures the blood shed of men
the tyranny of women
the tears of children
the atomic warfare
the bombs
the anguish

I learn from her that all things are equal
in the sense of the willow that covers her flowers in 40 feet of shade
roots clung to the heart of the soil beneath
he is equal to the twig

as I trembled upon the lake
I enter the subliminal ocean
waters mouth trembling upon my youthful chest
tender sacrifice to mother natures beautiful
releaser of cosmic *******
hidden between the scale of a fish
and the grains of sand beneath my feet
my eye brows crease as the sun kisses my pupils
and scorns my skin with her fiery heat
my cheeks blush and turn pink
for I am shy in the presence of that star
floating above my small body in the sky
twirling like the lotus on the Nile in the calming wind

the rain may come at anytime
cleanse the ***** core of my *****
the remnants of the superficial laughter
and things that hurt the mind and tarnish common behavior
on screens and micro pixels generated by the hands of man
humanity slips through the cracks of hope
lingering down like artificial honey from the plastic container
instead of the sides of my fingers as I grab the comb
and kiss the bee's

my knees where not made for this time
I fall onto the ground and whirl my body and scream hunger at
the top of my black lungs, give me my freedom

that was years ago, in a time where revelations made their
way only half way through my soul.
asking that brakes like a heart, question yes
and question no
you must take it and rip freedom out from your own core
your hands are not chained
but so many of these minds are torn
I scream
freedom
freedom
for I am re-born