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midnight prague Jan 2011
walking down a trail that has laughter and purge embedded
I stagger with a crooked smile and a insane mind
I limp like I am in my hundreds
I tatter justifying your ignorance

your pupils are sewn into my wrists...
your darkness drowns itself in me
oh no
I cannot
take
this.

music of mushroom decent play in forbidden tunes
and I welcome them
a stagnant whisper, someone is passing their soul
and there she is that little girl born in early June
I lay on the piano and melt into its strings
I become a theater, making our play
composing its music
remembering those days
I could have loved you
in
so
so
many different
ways


I watch the end of my cigarette burn, and the smoke unfolds
I fill my ashtray
with the memories of the old
midnight prague Jan 2011
sterile, I lay in bed
the woman that I am burning like endless candles
lit on the night of a great death
I am a great death
I stretch to release my family's history
torn between expectations and love affairs
and a grandfather in prison and my grandmother
drowning in tears and raising a son who did not come out of her womb
that poor woman with that blonde hair and those green eyes
rage breeds along love on her side and she is so taken back by the two
stricken in a consistent dilemma of letting both get the best of her
her bleeding insanity
and her bleeding forgiveness towards a man who did
nothing but annihilation
until her normal mind went to waste
what is it in a mans eyes that lets him dare
brake a woman
a frail,small,feeble, innocent woman
where do these men find the strength to see a woman in a pit
of tears generated through her pupils by his monstrous hand
is the heart not what gives birth to the strongest of emotion
this mental thing, and is that where that selflessness comes from
because it is all much too powerful
you my grandfather, must be some kind of genius
to have found that black and hidden place where you find
the coldness to do such things
you tortured soul who spits on all his children
you tortured man who's actions lead to consequences that befell
your grandchildren, your anger has bred through generations
your anger bred through my father and then to me
you broke men and you broke women
you
you
broke all of your children
all 7 of the souls you made
but you will not brake mine this I vow
I will stop that anger here
I will stop it now.
midnight prague Jan 2011
I run into your ruined eyes like a body that has given in
like the soul turning to death, when he lays a smile upon its cheek
I mourn the thoughts that once progressed through my head
those butterflies breeding inside of me in the seconds
before I knew I would walk up to you
and you would touch me
and I smell you
and I feel your warmth
the small hairs on your body rub against mine
so female; you
so love;  you
I hear you in the deepest silence
burried beneath all this dirt and the highest building
I jump off with my mind
to come to you, to go deeper then the ground
I drown myself in hopes of finding you in a place
where lungs cannot breathe
that is where we come from
a place forbidden
a place that we are raised to believe that we cant go
and these people walk aimless
oh but we know
we know
I  run into your death
like a flock of birds heading south in the winter
your black feathers touch mine
and I retreat to a land where my skin melts
with the thought of you
a place where
I
I
deteriorate
like leaves falling off the trees in autumn
I dont know how to hold myself together anymore
I am paralyzed, stricken
yet I am shaking
I
my love am in a state of deep panic
eat my words
**** my love
stress my emotions
and **** my dove
midnight prague Jan 2011
the bones in my fingers shiver
lost on a winter night of broken bones
sultry past kisses and hearts in a wither
nothing was more beautiful than our mixed pain
in the same *** that we fashioned with our
small moments of drunkeness and incoherence
I wanted to be lost all the time with you
floating on every surface that life would take us to
I walk down the park and the leaves are blowing
all around me, nature she is trying to tell me something
my thoughts of you then stop, and the wind calms
how am I to live like this, and where can I go to find the answer
Im exhausted with trying to find it in me
because its not
the only thing that is inside of me is you
and I have become so so heavy with you
my thoughts have turned into flesh that I cut open
with knives and I drain them of their blood
and hang the old skin on my walls
and remember us
I paint our lost fetus in the
midnight
we could have been everything
thrown our hands in the air and never
let life stop us, do you have any idea
what these words mean
do you know where I rip these words
from
my eyes are bleeding
as I smile at your departure
as I bid you farewell
midnight prague Jan 2011
con
even in my most refined spaces
even in my most lonely minutes
I have a love breathing in me
for someone
midnight prague Jan 2011
the way it feels when your eyes role back
the way it feels when salt turns into sugar
a stillness is born between two fires
burning and feeding off of eachother somwhere
in a forest of raven
the clouds die and give birth above us
every second, something has a beating heart
somewhere very close to me
somewhere there is a child emiting a smile
for the first time
and his mother becomes weak inside
somwhere there is a woman giving birth
to a genius an energy permanently marking the world
I, with these hands
have found profound use
I with this heart have witnessed much abuse
I with this soul soak that thread which ties burdens
so that its knots unravel and become loose
and I hold onto lifes energy
I bring it into my body, and with my mind
I begin to ******
attract thoughts of nothing but a bliss
and calm auroa
and when I lay naked on nature herself
you see its these poems that I produce
when I speak and say I need nothing more
than her love and she is always there waiting
for me in every tree
in every bee
oh how I miss you in these cities awfully
in every flower
rot the superficiality and give me that
natural power
that speaks history and wisedom
through different levels of silence
life it seems to me sometimes
has lost its balance
and so from that ignorance we must distance
kiss the wind and see that in simplicity
is where lives true brilliance
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