midnight prague

midnight prague Jan 2011

infancy

I hold these thoughts as I hold onto my infested pupils
my hands open like that of an infant in sleep
curved fingers, innocent and unexpecting of what is to come
the life
the street corners
the slum hearts
the filthy
all the ends and all the starts
the loved ones who will depart
the torn bed sheets
and the opening of evil flowers
in the dirt of small drunken conversations
the murders and the beauty
of the old burnt down houses
the strongest agonies that derive
from the simple things that once
made hearts dance in the wind
when love bathed in the sun
with its blue veins
I forget everything

to be brought back to this state
I know noting of these things
I look at life with innocent eyes
and I feel like a child again

midnight prague Jan 2011

smile when I speak baroness

my neck bends in a whirlwind of intoxicating
panic
as my blood laps like waterfall through my
ill veins, I die in rememberence of you
the way a butterfly lays on the leaf
and gives out its last second to nature gentely
that is how I give in
I move in front of you with no fear
stare into eyes that resemble mine
you were like a sister
lover
forbidden in each of our places
seperatley, when you were so close
like skin on skin
blood in blood
searching for our greater meaning
we almost found it
then it slipped through
our young, rough hands
like liquid silk
if it were with broken ankles
I would run to you and throw
myself into your chest
and curl up into you
as my life had been taken away from me
and you returned it gracefully
I would weep
if I lived in that world
that does not exsist
that I play with in my mind
sometimes, when coming to you
is not a choice, but I must
I make our world
that was so much more beautiful then the
one we lived in temporarily
I know it is you that belongs to me
but I let you go
you needed to be free
I must admitt I hunger for you awfully
I miss the similar beauty
alabaster chronic diluted in a purging
of looking for the greater thing within
I feel you in that
decadent inspiration brought forth
by you, I will not receive that from anyone
understand my passion excerted from small scenerios
I have a respect given for, and its you
I am lurid
naked
cold and I shiver
underneath the reality that has
placed itself upon my back like a fire of nights
you see, my skin has melted off
my blood has been drained
and I dont feel those things anymore
but I know they are there
to your presence I have become unaware
I bend my neck and in all honesty you couldn't have been
proved more guilty, hours when immersed in our silence
I thought, and came to this conclusion
watching your wooden face unrecognizable
on the outskirts of some forgein place in my head
you are not here anymore
you are *dead

midnight prague Jan 2011

a smiling flower

I speak to my body
and tell my very skin to hold on
for the places that I will be letting my
ease drip is no ocean of euphoria
yet it will provide the joy in delivery
in the very understanding of the depth
beneath our feet, in the fleeting
air of real human like feelings
breathing around us
pitiful skeletons enveloped like ghosts
my back is stabbed and I am wounded
bleeding on the years under me
floating in gray air
I see every small detail
every dull and alien like brittle particle
oh I see everything
my legs are open and ready to take in
all the life
just life
only for me, and nothing else
I want none
fullfilled with my own generosity
I choose not to let somone invade my
warmth at the time,
I am selfish with myself
I want only myself
I want only my love
and I want only my pain
until I find you who understands that
I lay stagnant a tear
upon my blushed cheek

midnight prague Jan 2011

nightmare

its 6 am and last night I saw your face in my sleep
I ran to you, like a murderous child
holding on to his mother after days of being lost
I smiled and opened my hands
and showed you all the things you have missed
since you have been gone
you smiled
and my heart felt heavy
I didnt know how I stood
or how I awoke

midnight prague Jan 2011

lady song

give me that womans woeful eyes
that rupture bizzare ghosts of another time
that her mind cant seem to remember anymore
give me that soul which has become out of focus
that I may clear the blurry film in that life
give me that ivory neck filled with pulses
of an inexplicable nature
give me that lover, that sinner
give me her disease,
I will eat her cancer
I will cure her
so that she may become a bloomer
a bruised life sitting on the street corner
hear me every woman who feels as if she is a
loner
no no
you are not alone
bring our hands together, yes me woman
yes us, feminine; we have all been under that rain
we have, frail; inside all felt that womanly pain
keep your head up lady
there is much to gain.

midnight prague Jan 2011

valley of tombs

your mystery resembles that of
ancestors buried beaneth the living
endless tombs infused with secrets for
only the earth and life in its very self to know
and when in your arms, oh how I wish that I may die
as to know those hidden things that you carry
within your frail frame of humanity and
that beating heart that I immerse myself in
and feel as I did when I was only 4
I understand mediums of distance should be kept
between us, and I give respect to the energy
that needs the breathe there
we cannot suffocate that
we cannot abuse it
I feel you in every extreme
when next to you Im am on the edge
of a building ready to jump
into a infinte fall
I feel you like the love
a terrorist has for his cause
I love you like the mother
loving her sick child in her deepest
height and fear
this
this is how I love you
with every drop of intensity that
I can manifest within my stricken body
I long for you the way the earth
will long for the bee’s after they
banish from this world
I lay next to you like the pedal
opening agaisnt her leaf
and I fall into you the way the
dew falls off the stem an onto
the tombstone beneath it
and when you kiss me
and feed me the liquid of your body
I am the starving immigrant lost
in a foreign desert rescued after closing
his eyes and accepting that death shall come
but then I open my blistered eyes and you
are there
lets walk down streets heavy and engraved
with depth so that we can feel understanding
in what is around us
let us live in places that have lived
as long as we have, where love
such as ours endless, has bred€
the sky covers us with its thunder
and I lay wet and covered in us
my pupils expanding
in
wonder

midnight prague Jan 2011

gracefully;let go

I remember yesterday in the apartment covered in murals
of beautiful eyes and psychedelic mushrooms
I see you sitting next to the ac right under the window
your sweating because its a hot day in the winter
my heart is trembling beaneath this pale skin
as I watch how your eyes lift themselves
heavily to stare out the window, because
you do not want to look in my direction, there is
no chair for you to sit on, because I am sitting
on the only one, the carpet is stained
and you sit legs crossed like a child
and again my heart is trembling beneath
my pale skin
where does your mind come from
I assume from years of a malicious father
who would come to you and love you deeply
after he has hurt you so many times
I assume that child that breathes through
your adulthood comes from the mother
who carried you with her veins
who struggled with her husbands pain
how could I walk away from you
you are a baby in my hands, and how
can I abandon that
beautiful
beautiful
scared face
lips meet in a place of peace
and content understanding
beneath trees and all living things
our faces touch lightly
how can you still be so innocent
how does purity flood your hands in such a way
that the mere definition of chastity is evolving
in my mind
I understand nothing anymore
I feel guiltless
I feel flooded in shame
I focus on the lines in your
pupils and I am elated with foreign
I am in a different land
we must go back to our separate
homes