my eyes are dry
but my soul is wet with the things i hold back
mesmerized by anything more than nothing

and nothing is more than nothing
your biggest fleet has lost all meaning
or yours

trust me
please please
trust me

when i tell you I'm shivering inside
its winter all the time
and i beg for this time to pass

trust me
please please
trust me

when i tell you I'm char and combust
and the holocaust of all my broken souls
are screaming under the burning roof inside
my home that has no bed
my home that has no windows
my home that has no living room
or stable wooden ground
that shines and when you smell lemons
when everything is clean
no
no

(that is not me)

the sound of celebration
the light of celebration play around me
the words of others sitting beside me

I remember when you exposed yourself
veins hanging like watered down tissue on burning wood
while I stood under you
you dripped on me
and I cant seem to get the stains to leave

how can you endure me with heart ache
such as yours
as now I am forever burdened by your hormones
and recklessness

and you tell me I am the purpose
for the epidemic
which ruled and overtook your galaxies

how am I so tiny and frail
able to do such things
surely it is not in my stature
for I am small

surely it cant be from my heart
for it is as alive as cobble stone
when it came to you
your were my friend
a partner in crime
taken away from me by means of yourself
and how am I to help that
when it is so out of my hand

cant you see how you drain my days
and make the moments so weary
when I am suppose to be hungry for will
and anticipation for the new minute to come

now I have deaden down
now I have melted on only the surface of the ground
if only I can go deeper
but no I am only on the surface

how do I explain such things as this
when my mind cant comprehend it
and I am already swimming in the ocean of doubt

before I took enough steps to think
before I took enough steps to get to you
before I took enough steps to know who you really are

you defeated me
you let me go
out of your selfish bitterness
how can you blame me

it hurts to see things I have written for you
so simple and real
as the abyss that surrounds you is
and as the complexion of your fragile body

I feel your weakness in my bones
and i feel your strength in my blood
running through me
colliding
impossible to explain
extreme to decipher

i see how you hair falls
and your smile is like a childhood memory that
i cant let go of
take me with you not somewhere empty
but heavily inhabited
so that i can know what it is
to feel invisible

basking in the light the preludes from your fingers
and drips slowly on to my neck
i am exhausted by your intensity

and when i fall asleep
it will be to our silent song
that we dare not sing aloud
and happily

woman of stature
the woman of grace and disposition
I am faulty
believe me when I tell you I am

love forbidden
love in chastity
completely forge in to me
yet embedded in my whole
and woven into the meaning of myself
within myself
deceit forbade me from conquering you
and now I am forbidden from myself
and you and you

lonesome yes
in the deepest part of my seed
nurtured on every outer layer
hidden is the young infant within that weeps
sad songs that scream
take my hand
pleading
hold me

you can see with your naked eye
Im holding out my lungs to you

loneliness hasnt seen itself
till it sees so many who can full fill it
and then walks away
that is loneliness

and I walk away everyday

this white cloak gets as close
to me as you do
simple cloth fabric
simple complex human mind
they get just as close

I have lived in such a state
for 3 years
I read the old letter I wrote
and the measure of my imeasurability grew longer
to be reminded I delivered words that speak openly
to another human

woman of stature
the woman of grace and disposition

positioned only within herself

I am faulty
relieve me when I tell you I am
believe me when I tell you I am

I almost fell asleep
before i convinced myself to write of you
and who ever knew I would write of you

tonight you craddled my mind
in thoughts of you sitting next to me
humming the same rythym that breathed on
everyones soul strings

wraped in my culture
wraped in your voice
and wraped in the man
who I thought was the men of all men
come to find
I wasnt treated as if he was so

so it goes
the story
I met a young gentlemen
who almost changed the course of my life
and shook my world
with the simple smirk of his sinful lips
the epic glare of his eye

I surrendered for a minimal amount of time
i forfited into my weakeness
and wraped myself in it
immeresed myself into something that
was out of character and insanity
or maybe not

and so it goes this story
of the days where i use to spend in the garden
the days i spent picking fruit
the days i spent alone
with the grumpy old hearts beating down on my mind
the days i spent dwelling in thought of you
dwelling in absence of you
dwelling in longing

i held my breathe
and suffocated underneath the gloomy water
and i held myself there

your look was sly
and then you intention shifted
and so did my thoughts
the glare in your eye didnt shine the same
and my hearts beat started to slow down
and catch on to its normal pace

your lips changed and with that your tongue
why did people matter
people should have never mattered at all
and maybe if you were different
it would have lasted more than a month

its amazing how many words I let loose
off so many strings with you always in mind
but this shall be the last time i write of your existence

I remember your water like a faded fingerprint
bent and pressed all over my naked chest
I remember your meaning like I remember distant days as a child
everything is so faded
due to the crushing that i have done over time

now we speak in strangers tongue
although i never really knew you
I knew of what you might be
and I knew of what you did to me

- at some point on the time line I felt
like patience was lost even though it was there
like my mind had found another place to live
although it was here all along

or maybe perhaps I did loose my mind
to have thought that such a situation can bend
or levitate itself to my planet
where you and I would live
never once did you read the script
and show appreciation towards my
rare admiration towards you

never

in humans I disgust
but you kept yourself in a twilight
somehow in my sky longer than usual
and till now the enigma puzzles me
oh you epidemic and dreary young life
how did you condemn me
in all the ways you did

its amazing how many words I let loose
off so many strings with you always in mind
but this shall be the last time i write of your existence

I remember your water like a faded fingerprint
bent and pressed all over my naked chest
I remember your meaning like I remember distant days as a child
everything is so faded
due to the crushing that i have done over time

now we speak in strangers tongue
although i never really knew you
I knew of what you might be
and I knew of what you did to me

- at some point on the time line I felt
like patience was lost even though it was there
like my mind had found another place to live
although it was here all along

or maybe perhaps I did loose my mind
to have thought that such a situation can bend
or levitate itself to my planet
where you and I would live
never once did you read the script
and show appreciation towards my
rare admiration towards you

never

in humans I disgust
but you kept yourself in a twilight
somehow in my sky longer than usual
and till now the enigma puzzles me
oh you epidemic and dreary young life
how did you condemn me
in all the ways you did