how is it that you enter my life
and then without looking in my direction
no heed nor warning
seasons pass
ice falls
and the sun prevails our sensitive eyes
but we know of the departure
and we know of the return

how is it that you can leave within the twitch of my hand
and I can wait decades and decades for a return that
will never happen
until the sudden twitch
and I turn to dust
and I my soul finds its place underneath
the livings feet
hidden deep in the earth
until our time comes

so many of you have left
and it was always so unexpected
life and all it is shorter than my words
how moments pass so undetected
and I am frail
when I find acceptance hard to manage

when I think of the love and how its now hidden
under so many different surfaces
in a different world
blood runs thing
and pain creeps
at the thought of loved ones who have passed
most of us humans have someone
whom at one second of the day
thoughts retreat to
needles flow in your veins rather than blood

life comes and goes in sublime sharp ways

would I imagine myself throwing myself
in the arms of desperation after many years
of annihilated love
after many years of baroque turmoil
tinted with smiles
and kisses on my shoulder

multiple
one ten
maybe when I'm mentally exhausted 2
I drained myself of ability
to perceive the difference
between the look in your eyes
and the look in mine

what does it all mean

I'm standing still and all I can hear
is you yelling at me
you cursing at me
you drenching me in the pain that
I have caused you

you kissing my neck
and then slashing my back
with the knife we have built together
of our linking souls

I smile and tell you to just leave
and my carelessness draws you closer to me
then ever before
and I move further
wanting you
yet I move further

what encompasses my sickness in love
destroying my perception completely of the monster
who was suppose to save me so long ago
under heaps of destruction i find myself
mendled by all your pretty things

and then at the end of the day
I sleep with tears on my lips
love.

I choose to live
so pensive
I am a captive
in my vast proximity
in thoughts that eat each others thoughts
and grow within each other
and then die

the sun rises through the window sill
peaking like infants playing hide and go seek
pretty little eyes between the brown cracks
beams shine on my face
and wake me up to this creature
called a new day
and we praise this new comer
this bringer of different sorts

as I sit here, it rules me in the court
charging me guilty before it comes
it raises its hand before my words are done

my poems fall like invisable somethings
and the air it hunts me down
and my ears drown in the sound
of the wind blowing through my hair
my hands are filthy and Im holding my heart
or more so my despair
save me from this nightmare, I may find sanity
no but not in you new comer
but elsewhere

we can feed off of each others
destruction
life has shown us both
enivitability is always knocking at the door
it creeps behind the bar
holding death in a precious little box
or maybe a few tears in clear jar

I walked down into this forest
than this forest
and and this one
but no
no
the hands I see are not tinted enough
not invisably black enough
not tortured enough

the fire I see has never been extinguished
left with no nourishment
never knowing a word of despair

white breathing so many different colors
you illumanate in front of me
like earths beauty in the deepest core
under the most magnifecent things
you are perfect
and satan himself would agree

but no
no
you are not empty enough for me

the color green
floats around in my mind like a pool of death
bottomless in my heart
thick and dark
flowing completely
and
completely
empty

its all there
but its all gone

I am a human
but I lack all the characteristics
of a human mind
Im frigid
metal like
placid
and emotionless
you bring me forth

and I lay in my tomb
next to all my thoughts of you

death

you have annihliated me
brought me to an end
of no return
my words would never be enough

if times cures
I will feel you a millenium from now
flowing through my blood
as if we just met

I always admired the idea of being with someone
but not the actual action of it
comparison to suicide
the thought make love to my vessels
and my veins
and I proclaim that after you
my blood cells will never be the same
transfigured by your simple gestures
your sweet talk
and the veins that run through your hands
your smile that makes my stomach churn
and the words that make atoms burn

I sit in corners speaking to quietly
I dare not raise my voice
I just expect you to come to me-I let my frustration grow
love pains
when pain is the only
love, you know

you fancy the venom that drips down
in the air
apprently my clouds presipitate anger
and evil reigns on me

turn your head
cover you eyes
hide away from such a creature
wasnt it spoken of said and confirmed
that this species can hurt you

so why do you walk down my path
if you do, do so silently
and dont express words to get to me
because I will leave you drained
life will always be different