are we okay
will you hold me like you did that one day
speak to me like you did when we sat in the sultry cafe

kiss me like you did on that winter night in the driveway
my love...

are we okay

our cigerrete buds fill the ashtray
as we listen to the soothing beats of reggea
I remember you in the miday

darling...

are we okay

I sit and watch
not the passion
but the connection decay

the burdens outweigh
our clique
feminine
folkway

your fingerprints marked along every hallway
your lips scorn the evening of every friday
your pushing edge on every railway
your uneasiness and the foreplay
your secrets replay in my head like a violin

finally
I have come to realization
of this heavy dismay
with drought I say

lover we are not okay.

your hair was long
eyes burnt like savage charcoal hanging
off the tunes that follows your voice when you speak
blindess carsses infant bones inside of me
you make me weak

pretty you moved like glitter in summer rain
your words were simple and plain
you sat like a indian sun child
everything around us somehow manipulated into nature
nothing was concrete
nothing was cement

nights and days I repent
the hours minutes seconds spent
on basking in the rain that built up
in front of your hands
drops fall off strands of hair
slowly
on to the ocean under us
purging lips

dive deep into uncharted mansions
somewhere between bones and hips

from your water I would take small sips
as I knew after our cups were empty
you would leave
or maybe I would

I got up to depart
she grabbed my wrist
at my skin she rips
shes slips
and unto her I grip

the yelling snaps like horsewhips
my heart beat skips
the anger settles

my vocbulary slips
as femininity strips
the images fill the Polaroid film strips
and I think how I can no longer take this

minutes then roll off into bliss

Murdering the infants of soft cruelty
that build sand castles in my back yard
I heard them cry out for sugar
and laughter

I place the old pictures in my pocket
I find my luggage
my clothing that I wish to burn

branches quiver in the sun
so innocent and lifeless
so potent and malicious

Im a woman who will retain
a unfertilized egg
and a single heart

I see beauty only on the surface
and I dont dare go any further
then the skin
anything past flesh has become
nothing but
disappointment

my fingers break when I write this
my mind cracks like the grounds of a death filled earthquake
my lives are petrified
and the thoughts who are civilans perish
under the lava of life that erupts itself
with contagious fumes in my mind
I came close to something that
could have well rolled off my tongue so nicely
as perfect
now Im far away
and I might always be
burden places itself on my side
smiling at me always
like a dimmed creature
horror film based
1940's
always next to me

pain stakingly
one day It will come to our hault
our exit
our departure
and Im on my way
with a staggering pulse
and wavering feet

the only other paths on my side
are hell, disguised
demised
I press my finger against my temple
and wished for nothing but annihalation of thought
and the smallest breathe of fresh air

your image brings both
and Im a ghost I feel as though sometimes
I might bury myself in the clouds forever

cause they are pale and soft
and this reality is full of needles and thorns

my eyes fall out of my body
as my hearts is watching them discreetly and mourns

this poem is only a degradtion
of the scenerio I have manifested on the border line of my sanity
words
that seem to absorb deeper words
when the thought of feeling the flesh
under your mind comes into correct place

yes

movements please and
light sighs
breeze

through the thin air
strong and ambiguous
my lines to
you
I am thrown
sprawled on the floor
and I move through the rooms in your house
I kiss every corner
and press my chest against every celing
I bathe in every shower
down pouring of your technique on my
small body
I walk outside
I take the plunge into your unirverse
and interact with all the evil in it

I let it consume my very core
in the deepest part of my womb
how beautiful,
as we explore
every
downpour
.
.
.

this this
is something that I never understood before
and now I cant ignore

I lay and praise in the mirror
the ****** *****

I feel you now
the winds move fast
I whisper to them
to ease and slow
to caress me completely
and then the waves come again
and I am washed on shore
powerless and wanting more

as I stare into your skies


my hands are trembeling
on top of your child like
eyes

I am honored by your repulsive behaviour
to know I can have such an impact on your character
leaves me breathless
memories flood every *****

my blood feels thicker everytime a drop of you comes to my mind

my heart feels heavier

my eyes feel wetter

why do I feel posined by something so beautiful
why am I intoxicated and drunk of the thought of something so natural

do you wake up with glistening cheeks
like I do

no its not a dream
I understand that this is my reality
I always look back
watching as these thoughts retreat to everything I ever believed in

in everything I never believed in

no words escaped your lips when I slowly walked backwards torwards my sunless house
where only few flowers grow in its vast landscape
---
but I saw the look in your eyes

I
didnt know

exactly where to fall
or if I should have let myself fall at all

I feel the skin move through me
like a thousand bricks fallen off of a mountain
completely at ease
you ravage me with your simplicity
eyes edged on the corner of every dark alley
your smile is a projector
in my mind of all the things
that I really admire
is it too much to ask
that you always spread your soul around me
I fall into heat
and there is no way to be discreet
about this anymore
Im bored with holding my tongue
Im bored with the run
I would like to lay in your arms
my beautiful sun
as I press my lips to yours
and my heart to the gun