we can feed off of each others
destruction
life has shown us both
enivitability is always knocking at the door
it creeps behind the bar
holding death in a precious little box
or maybe a few tears in clear jar

I walked down into this forest
than this forest
and and this one
but no
no
the hands I see are not tinted enough
not invisably black enough
not tortured enough

the fire I see has never been extinguished
left with no nourishment
never knowing a word of despair

white breathing so many different colors
you illumanate in front of me
like earths beauty in the deepest core
under the most magnifecent things
you are perfect
and satan himself would agree

but no
no
you are not empty enough for me

my blood has fallen asleep and at ease to your beauty
your eyes

I beg
to breathe in the skin of your thighs

you move faster
and I move further away-
with you
from everything you represent
your prose and the most you disobey

leave you I may
beautiful woman
leave you I will
meager minds and griefs hearts to you I dispell everything
you may not see brown eyed,
I for now
have given all my insides to you

I walk away against my will

for you to display ---
life
sprung into things you must discover
and below you I hover
hoping that the feeling will not absorb me
like water into a sponge
like blood into a lung

I am beaten down

hurt

and I understand that breathing comes in hand
when in place of a human
who does not yet understand

I push reason into mind
and it pushes me further from you

I push passion into place
and it brings me closer to you

I
me
If I were in someplace a hidden globe
would multiply myself in your lives
so many little to one
I am imagining your beauty
between my fingers you see

and all I want is to bring you closer to me

and then my mind sets its foot down into
who I am
and then I realize
maybe you should become a shadow
not the one which follows me
but the one of my days
the one that represents everything I smile
at when I wake up in the morning

I didnt know you
I made up who you were with a combimnation
of little things you have shown me

bring me to subtle understanding
distressed creature of another sort
I am yearning
in the pool of you
alone

I left the good ones in the bag that I packed
and left with a long time ago
blinded by expressionism and confessionalism
a portrait hung on my wall for so long
I dream in blue and earthy scents
of that little space between hinder and breath
society placed a big burden upon my chest
it whispers so many funny and true things
dire to my belief of originality
and being specific in the things I do
mind like thin lines overlapping in many different hues
I have grown ill in thought of the ordinary people
you see me as flawed hurt and stupid
and I see you as plain boring and mediorce
eyes trail downwards about my sincere actions
and sometimes I must hold my tongue
being that envious eyes would like to eat a lung
my manner gentle and discreet
Im am nothing near the definition of obsolete
and I accept it as I accept that nothing will ever
with misuse be complete
and in a heartbeat I retreat to that creature
who beside me is petite

as I am

feathers of beauty brush against the
slowly moving winds on my shore
and I go back and wonder why everything
so quickly turns into nothing
descending tons of gore
and then fragility comes back to its place
sits on the front of my hands
like a serene masterpeice
reminding me who I am
and leaves me permanently marked
smile

lets be honest
let me be honest
when I speak of the precautions
of the extents
where my skin feels the need to come off my body

I dont know if I want to wait till it sheds
or if I choose to be intolerant
and simply rip it off my muscle

the skin that you have touched
let it ware away
anything please
just let this violence settling on top of my being
just ware away

I have been there
in the inner most deep depths of your freckles
and Im meddled
so lost
in your extrgavance
something put me out of this state

and the last time we spoke, I spoke to you with a tone of hatred
and I would never let you know
that, moment was my love manipulated

into something so much deeper than what we were
and why is that
why are you
you
and why am I me
and things trail down this little road of our
personal caotic catasrophe

the clouds bleed out our meaning
everyday
when the sun is out
and its light everyday
and it brings me into a retreat
you make the light do this to me

hopefully
somewhere in between the stories
ill find myself pleading
and then I will find an answer
to this endless mind thought
love forgive me
the passion itself
please

your hands so female
declare suffocation in every bone

I feel you
the way
I feel the blood coursing through my veins
I feel you
the way I feel my very soul
breathing in me always
until I take my last breathe

I am horrified
with you

I am explicitly terrified with
the thought of how you said my name

I will

always
remember you, as I remember the days when I was small
meager and did not yet understand what the world brung forth

I remember you as I remember the horrific acts which molded me
to be who I am today

I will always remember you that way