We sit in an art classroom.
There are windows and anyone could
see or come in.
But with the snow falling it feels like our
own world.
You lie silent there before me
naked.
Posing as I paint you.
I want to show you how I see you
through
my
eyes.

The crowd cackles and intimidates.
It sees the weak and the lonely,
prepared to tear them down.
The lights pulse and the noise throbs
sending you in a whirl of
*no backing out

Run.


Run!

Through this forest,
faster faster.
The moon is leading you to her,
the trees guiding the path
for you.
Don't turn now.
She's waiting at the top.
Barefoot
the rocks bite at your feet.
Keep running.
Almost there now,
feel your heart beat
throbbing, throbbing
in your head.
Meet her.
Go to her.
Good, you're at the edge.
Now just
l
e
a
p . . .

Good.
Do you see her?
She's kissing you.
She holds you in the air,
telling you to look at the
moon.
Her hands open to you
as you throw yourself
into her dark hair.
You fall,
how long have you been falling?
Hours?
Years?
Your whole life?
You're not scared.
Not anymore.
Just keep looking at that moon
and feel the dark
devour you.
Love her.

You **** me.


You eat me alive with
how much I love you
how much
I can't love you.

You comfort me when
I'm terrified to be loved
and when I need you
you're nowhere
to be
f o u n d.

Who the hell are you,
to be the person I need?!
How could you go
from being a complete stranger
to my best friend?

You scare me.

It breaks my fragile,
porcelain heart,
whenever you tell me
that you're crying.
Or that you can't go on living.
Or that you're in so much pain.
Or when you say that you know me better than anyone
because it's true.

It terrifies me that you
love me.

Losing a cranium
filled up and seeping out
of this scalp.
I'm bleeding in my
bed, on the sofa,
on the paper itself.
Brain tissue cries out,
outside of my mind.
It wanders into
blackness, cruel and unkind.
Where in this black abyss
can I find that light?
Flickering and warm
I have lost my sight.
My path unlit,
I wander through thickets,
deserts, storms and mist.
I fall into quicksand.
It swallows me alive.
But I climb out
and the sun shines high.

A thousand heartbeats
rest upon a pillow
racing
to no finish.
A pulse quickens,
a tongue
tied,
strained by veins.
Sleep is
LOST
in a dream
a haunted fairy tale
draining
my
bruised
soul.

i made a bet with myself
nobody won
but i lost
double or nothing i say to me
double or nothing it is, i reply
i won
again