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(( Joshua walks into the small diner by himself & stands obediently next to the "WAIT TO BE SEATED" sign.  His eyes are casting shadows down his cheeks that blend into the subtle stubble that his long day created.  Eventually a waitress comes over to him & he holds up one finger.  They walk like a somber funeral procession to his booth, his grave, & he descends into it like a rigid corpse.  He comes here because it is one of the few places left in the city to smoke, & he gets right down to business.  The flick of his lighter is muted by the bickering coming from the booth behind him. ))

WOMAN: so do you still love me?

MAN: yes, but not really.

WOMAN: what does that mean?

MAN: well, it means i do, but not as much as i used to.

WOMAN: when did this happen?

MAN: yesterday...last week...

WOMAN: when, specifically?  you still say "love" a lot.

MAN: i can't say, really.  it's like waking up from a dream, covered in sweat and unfamiliar with your surroundings.

WOMAN: why are you sweating?

MAN: because of the dream.

WOMAN: no, your face right now.  you look like you went swimming.

MAN: i know.  could you hand me a napkin?

WOMAN: you still haven't answered my question.

MAN: another napkin.

WOMAN: you probably need a sponge.

MAN: i didn't see it on the menu...

WOMAN: so why didn't you tell me?

MAN: i didn't want to break your heart.

WOMAN: so you decided to stretch it out until it cracked under the pressure?

MAN: is it hot in here?

WOMAN: that's not your decision to make.  it is MY heart.

MAN: well, you have to admit i had it on loan for a while...

WOMAN: WELL YOU HAVEN'T BEEN MAKING PAYMENTS!


(( A loud thud.  Joshua looks up from the smoky haze to find a coughing waitress. ))


WAITRESS: to drink?

JOSH: an ashtray.

WAITRESS: what?

JOSH: there's no ashtray here.

WAITRESS: sure.  and what to drink?

JOSH: coffee, black.

WAITRESS: and what to eat?

JOSH: i could use a bit more time.

WAITRESS: we all could.


(( The waitress disappears. ))


MAN: look, i never said i was right.

WOMAN: neither did i.

MAN: at least i am telling you now.

WOMAN: now is later than it should have been.

MAN: i said i was sorry.

WOMAN: no, you didn't.

MAN: well, i meant to.


(( A long period of silence & clinking plates. ))


MAN: i should probably go.

WOMAN: i am pretty sure you left a long time ago.

MAN:  i'm sorry.

WOMAN: is there another?

MAN: another what?

WOMAN: if you don't love me, then your love must be somewhere else.  you have to love something.

MAN: no, there's not.  i've never been so alone.

WOMAN: that sounds terrible.

MAN: you will know the feeling soon.

WOMAN: jesus, the man behind us is smoking like a chimney...


(( Joshua puts his cigarette out.  The waitress appears amidst the smoke again. ))


WAITRESS: have you decided?

JOSH: i don't think anyone has.
i'm plowing through the crowded plains
all yellow grass & open veins
& belly laughs at better days
because i finally made a clean escape.

& i can pack a MEAN suitcase
stuffed with photos of your ******* face
& i'll abandon you in every state
leaving a polaroid in every place:
an image for each bridge & lake
that gives me visions of your lips & legs.

& by the time i reach those western beaches
my bags have lost a lot of weight
& i've erased all ******* trace
of the comfort of your fake embrace.
since we've broken up
i've been loaded up
getting drunk & throwing up
swollen head all bloated up
from doses of the finest drugs
but it's never quite high enough
to forget your type of tired love
it keeps me anchored as i'm flying up
as i'm crowd surfing
on a cloud's surface
my head is drowning in the dirt
i'm ground to grains & feeling worthless
clay for brains & muddy urges
lead to vacant veins & vapor verses
a rehearsal for a solemn song
sedating the invading fog
while praying for the haze to stop
deep throated
grunts-
we
engaged;
two perfect
anarchists in bed.
 Jan 2012 michelle reicks
M
Sometimes I look at the
people around me.
All of us walking around these
halls of a school.
Heads down.
Eyes down.
Mouths shut.
I wonder what happened to us.
What caused us to become these
creatures that are paralyzed?
What happened to the bright-eyed
kids we were?
Where is the laughter that used to
echo through us?
We wear the chains of today,
and what's worse is
we keep them there with our own power.
we are merging our lives
together
there is so much to think of:
clothes, belongings, cat,
but my hair is growing longer
so we'd better start talking serious business
like
what time we want to take
our walks together--
before or after dinner?
This has killed me
You and her
Why would you do this
Am I just a person unwanted?
Am I not good
Pretty
Skinny enough?

She's hideous
Compare me to her
Compare a rose and a rabbits ****
It won't happen

Being tired of me
is being tired of lite
Tired of joy and hope
I tried to make you happy
But you spit in my face
Again and again
How rude
I hear your happy
How can you be
You hurt girls
Its what you do
And your proud?
Disgust
Hate
Pain
Those are the words that remind me of you
Your a pathetic specimen


I'm relieved were broken up
That relationship was a broken one way street
I'm just sorry I wasted so many years
Being your secret
Shhh
Don't tell
So many secrets
I know them all

Surprise
I'm reveling you for who you are
What are your true colors?
Not red for blood and pain
Not black for death and grieving
Not green for hope
Not yellow for light and life
But blue
For sorrow and sadness
Because your are blue
You are sad
You are sorrow

This is you
Like a beautiful flower
You pulled me in
But beneath your beauty there was thorns and poison
You poked me and made me bleed
You made me sick with your poison
But whatever
Your a thing of my past
Whatever
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