you can't sleep without me
you can't breathe without me
you smoke a pack a day without me
you have nightmares without me
you can't feel anything without me
you can't eat without me
you can't focus on anything without me

But as soon as you have me

you realize

you're better off




without me.

love always ends with someone getting ****** over-

you said.

well, i guess i want to know-
-need to know-

was it worth it?





     before you go
allow me

to slap that cigarette out of your hipster mouth


and whisper

"when you grow up,

i hope you're better than you are now"

i hope you choke on your pride

and your cigarettes

i can't write poems unless something happens to me.
something big and profound
******* up my life

or making it heavenly.


so until i **** up my life
or yours
or his

this is the only poem
i can write tonight

i've been cranky
as hell.


i have not been laid
in three weeks


i'm looking for an easy fix
so tease me
tease me
squeeze


lick
slip fingers on my hips
nibble on my lips

                     draw lines on my stomach
                      and underneath my *******
                                                         ­            with your tongue.

full lip kisses on my freckles
smell my hair
-----just how it is

slice me open with your fingertips


moan into my love button
make me cry


someone



excite me

then hers*
                   are windows made of
                                                        ice,
              glistening with wetness melting in the
                                                             ­         sun


opening her eyes for the first time in the morning,


her soft brown lashes brush against her
                                                             ­        lids
with the softness of
              a *fresh fallen snow canopy bed
                             made just for her

When she looks at you              (remember to breathe)


(it's like she can see all of your mistakes, everything you hate about yourself)



you feel the world
grow hazy around her
the ground falls away
from under your feet

But her eyes are windows
that let all the weather in (leaving her cold&wet;)

if you stare into them long enough,

                                        you'll see the storm

                                                          ­                inside

your summers
of happiness and ***

remind me of mine.

long drives with boys i loved
cigarettes and sweat
and ***
literally every day, sometimes for hours.
Usually for hours.
Sometimes four hours.



;reminds me of my boy with greyblueblack eyes
and my boy with the hairy toes (two years of lovelovelove
and the boy that played me guitar, always letting me sing
to him

and
the boy that ****** me
and ****** me over
and kissed me
to keep from freezing
inside his cold life



and then of course
there's the boy



with those beautiful hands

that haunt me
now


trying to fall asleep
i imagine his arms around me

his hands
his glorious slender hands
in my hair
that he thinks is so pretty

(breathing into my neck)

that thought is enough to get me to sleep every night
now that sleeping has become difficult to do.


i love your little stories
of her back
-skin dancing in the sun
of windows
softly
creeping through the curtains




Man, the way you must have loved her