Ignore it.
                       The pain
         Goes away
                                       After everything

                      Turns black

talk me up. talk me up. talk me up.
enter my exit
say yes turn
back around
find the next fit.
looking at me for the first time,
you're more prepared for this than I am.

you've got a heart in your palm.
I take your blade to my flesh to make sure I've still got one,
realize you've got mine and as soon as it's healed you drop it back into place.
I forgot what it was like, hearts are so heavy.
I'm a snow flake, falling onto flesh, and melting,
through my eyes, broken faucets, you turned me on,
shut me out, won't turn me off.

passion's forgetful in a whirlwind.
wrap me up in a cocoon, keep me numb.
I see you've been breaking glasses,
cutting off the tips of your fingers,
you make me nervous. beginnings make me nervous.

you let me explore your mountain
and I found caves that were brighter
than daylight so I left them to you,
it wasn't my place to stay.

you're a dark shark with soft teeth
shaved cheeks and smooth grease.

I'm an open eyed shadow looking
for sparks to dance in. If I could learn
to balance my darkness in the light
then my moves would be seen clearly
and I could catch my mistakes before I
leave my pieces on the board in places
where I'd so obviously lose them.
there's nothing left for me to do but keep playing.
although I make puddles, I'll laugh
to soak them up. it's refreshing
this feeling,
it's a wound but it's healing.
you put something into a pocket
because you want to keep it close
and see it again.
you put something in a hole
because you want to lose it
or it's dead.

I gave you permission to eat my remains
so clean off my plate, wipe off my face.
the younger you are the stronger the hunger
for flesh for adventure for change.
constant,
constant,
change.
perhaps I should have cut you when I had the chance.
then we'd both be healing at the same time.

There is a Reaper whose name is Death,
And, with his sickle keen,
He reaps the bearded grain at a breath,
And the flowers that grow between.

“Shall I have nought that is fair?” saith he;
“Have nought but the bearded grain?
Though the breath of these flowers is sweet to me,
I will give them all back again.”

He gazed at the flowers with tearful eyes,
He kissed their drooping leaves;
It was for the Lord of Paradise
He bound them in his sheaves.

“My Lord has need of these flowerets gay,”
The Reaper said, and smiled;
“Dear tokens of the earth are they,
Where he was once a child.

“They shall all bloom in fields of light,
Transplanted by my care,
And saints, upon their garments white,
These sacred blossoms wear.”

And the mother gave, in tears and pain,
The flowers she most did love;
She knew she should find them all again
In the fields of light above.

O, not in cruelty, not in wrath,
The Reaper came that day;
’Twas an angel visited the green earth,
And took the flowers away.

It's customary, I've been told,
When you split, to divide all that you had
Between you
And now that we’ve parted
There’s so much left to decide
Between the two of us

So I’ll take the scowl
It doesn’t look good on your face
You take the light in my eyes
It suits you much better
I’ll take those tears
They glisten so becomingly on my face
You take my wistfulness
You’re much too grounded now
I’ll take that bitter laugh
It’s much too sour, and you, far too sweet
You keep my hope
It brings out the light in the eyes, you know
I'll take the ice in your soul
You'll be so much warmer without it
and here
You keep my heart
It's been yours from the start

I’ll keep the memories
I’ll bear the burden of two
You keep the smiles
And the laughter, please do
While I drown
In the sorrowful longing for what has past
While I pine and whine and live in the last
Please smile, please do
Bear the burden of two

When you laugh, laugh deeply
And when you smile, smile wholly
As long as you’re warm
I’ll accept the cold
If you look ahead
I’ll keep the past
I'll remember
And you'll smile
Please do

Each day I have a reason to celebrate.
Each moment that I sit
basking in the cacophony of my minds
constant obsession is a reason to be happy.
I didn’t know I could think or feel anymore.

Not till the day you

Well not till that night.

I told you simply before
that I would respect you.
If only because you have to give
to receive I know that.

Slowly I learned
it is only what you expected
and never really cared for.

I didn’t seem to be cared for.

Not how I wanted
usually not like I ever really needed.

The old song says
I fought the law and the law won.
I fought myself and days
days get darker all the time.  

Not darker like it was
there is a new dawn in my life
there will be more sunshine,
the clouds seem to have past
but the void between me and the sky is so ominous.

It’s amazing what you feel
when you are allowing yourself to.
I must have been insane
to think of pleasing only one person
mostly because that person wasn’t me.

No fingers pointing
I know you gave it a go.

You made all the marching orders
that seemed right at the time.

Blame cannot be assigned
unless you count
change
the one true,
inevitable force in the world.

Change is going to mean many things in is this wonderful little play.  

You won’t change for anyone

and I am tired

Tired of changing for you.