Child, nightmare and dreams
You have them so short,  so it seems!
The hardest part is letting go!
Your head says yes and the rest screams no!!
Try to give them right from wrong
Show them how to be strong!
To stand on their own two feet
To be a good person to any they meet!
But sometimes it goes so bad, drugs, drink or they just don't care!
Their demons take over and as parents we have to pay the piper the fare!
You can't say don't give a ****, give them the cold shoulder!
Because deep down they're your babies and without them the world is trully colder!!
To lock them up in a safe haven, cotton wool, no monsters in their cupboard you say
Your inside shrinks and your heart shrivels to see them  take the wrong road, their way!!
DiD you do your best? Do you love your children enough?  Are you still trying to fix things you think you didn't do right?
Me if I could go back in time, I'd be a little strickter, still love them the same, unconditionally just meybe not so busy more in sight!!
Say no when I should've, tell I them I love them, hold them in my arms much much more!!
Meybe then I wouldn't feel such a failure and my heart  
wouldn't hurt be so sore!!!!

Bad night, didn't sleep well
You were so far away I could tell
In the same bed with a valley in between,
Felt you slipping away,  to call you back, to be seen!
I am sorry that you have had pain, that I can't help to take it all away,
I don't seem to have the words to make it go, don't always know what to say!
When I felt your arms going around my body to hold me
My tears came then, letting my hurt and insecurity out, free!
I feel a little lost when you go away, it will be ok , to be fair,
I can only be myself, show you that I am crazy about you being there!
The times we spend together is all the more special when you come back,
And we can talk, joke and silently touch, again on the same track!

Sitting here,  wishing to be that little girl again, everything is new, a dream, no pain.
Watching the clouds go by in a field of flowers, smelling the sweetness, not the cold rain.
My eyes follow a butterfly going about her simple way,
Hoping she'll come closer, sit by me or near and stay.
Wanting so much to be able to touch her gentle wing,
To listen to her secrets and also to hear her sing.

Dreamer that I was knowing so little about life, the cost,
That little girl is here again, she was just a little lost.
I grew up fast with so much hurt and anger, I almost made her disappear,
I let her go into hiding, not letting her out because of  all the fear.
I want her to come out and see the light, play a little, even make things up, even pretend,
Tell her I am now stronger, no need to hide yourself, dream all you like, come and we will mend.

Do we listen to the voices in the wind, see the ghosts, pleading, slowly fading?
Are our ears closed off or are we hard of hearing, eyes shut aswel, not seeing being sightless?
Is the only pain we feel anymore our own,  whats anothers pain worth, nil just an echo?
Does no-one trully hear there sighs silently screaming for help, begging?
Am I one of them that does not listen, feels and looks, deaf dumb and blind?
Can I and they be taught and changed, open to the sight and sounds of anothers pain?

I'm not young, said before
Did alot, not proud what for?
I survived with anger and hate
And yes life is in the hands of fate!
I see my heart and soul and am glad
They let me see that it is not all bad!
Can't change the past maybe don't need
Just maybe yes maybe I've been freed!

I would really love to phone you on a Tuesday night
To have a cold one or you invite me for a bite
Or spend a day with your mom, dad and you!
Christ child what the hell did you do???
You took a very special person away
And made my life seem really grey!
I want to meet  you again and ask you why?
And give your parents answers so they won't cry!!
I want to punch you and scream
Why did you take away your dream!!!!
My questions can't be answered, heaven is not close so I can't ask
But sometimes my anger at you is huge and I want to take you to task! !!!
It's allready 2 years and soon you should have a birthday and be twentysix!
Everybody still thinks of you, misses you and for **** sake this I can't fix!!!!!
The frustration is big and the pain doesn't go, but we have to live with it!
I will meybe forgive, but never forget and find a place where you WILL fit!
I see your father, mother and brother and see there lives are half broken
I want to help them, I want to find the magic not the half crap token
The words, be strong life goes on!
No it doesnt for you, you are gone!!
I moved house because of the memories,  I felt lost, I couldn't handle it!!!!!!!
I trully wish your family could do that, but they can't and it kills me to see them sit!!!
There hearts are crushed and mine burns
Tomorrow comes and the g'd **** world turns!
Things happen in my life and I want tell and to share
And one of life lessons is life is not fair!
So the big question is why did you take yourself away from us? Why did you do it??????
We won't be able to answer that yet or never! G'd **** idiot ****** hell! ! ****!!!

Lips touching, oh so soft, like a feather
Almost like a dream, finding a treasure
Eyes close gently, we're together almost like a dance
Don't make sudden moves don't take a chance
Just quietly let your breath go on a sigh
Let your tongue touch mine, oh in one try
I have had the perfect kiss it touched my inner heart
It felt  so right, we got scared and pushed apart
I want that one moment back, that one kiss again
And then I'll stop looking, stop wanting, going insane
It haunts me because I've said my goodbye and the best
Life sometimes makes me really angry, I feel this is a test
I don't always understand things, dont know
Could this be a lesson? For me to grow