I'm not mad
The truth is I'm hurt
Hurt more then you will ever know
You think I'm fine brushing off all that we ever had.
You think I'm lying in bed with a smile on my face
Dreaming about my life with him
Some nights yes
Other nights
That's not the case
I lye here with a million things going through my mind
What if I wouldn't of gone
What if I wouldn't of been so pushy
What if non of my flaws would be flaws to you
What if
Then I remember no the only what if is the
What if you changed
What if you grew up and understood what I wanted
Theirs only so many chances you can give someone
Like I said I'm not mad I'm hurt
I know I hurt you too but the hurt I felt
The tears going down my face when you compared me to my best friend and told her all my flaws
I felt like i was never good enough after that
I'm sorry you thought you had to act different to impress me
I'm sorry that I'm bad at showing how I feel
I'm sorry I write these poems and I don't  like looking at the past
I'm sorry I was controlling
The truth is you never had to act different to empress me I was there for you from the start
I was your best friend from the start
I loved you from the start
The truth is I wanted you to show me how you really felt
You kept it all hidden so you wouldn't hurt me
But I felt like I couldn't tell you how I felt because you couldn't tell me how you felt
The truth is I write poetry because it's the only way to really express how I feel and it keeps me from cutting
bet you never knew that
The truth is I do look back at the past every **** day and it hurts like hell
The truth is I was pushy because I wanted the best for you
Best for us
Now I'm sitting here crying while writing this
I didn't hurt you because I wanted to
I made a decision for myself for once
I'm not mad at you
I'm sorry if your mad at me
I'm sorry everything has to end like this
I miss you
I love you
Always have and always will
Now I'm happy for the most part
All I'm missing is my best friend
Maybe one day I will get him back

M.W.T.W

My Promise to My Soldier
I promise to be there for you always
Whenever you need a helping hand
I promise to think about you daily
Wherever you are away
I promise to never let you down
No matter what we go through
I promise to keep you in my prayers
So that God may keep you safe
I promise to be here when you return
I will be there waiting
I promise to be your support
When you need it most
I promise to help you through the tough times
Even though it will hurt me
I promise to be here for you when you are in pain
Even though it will pain me too
I promise to support you in any decisions you may make
No matter what they are
I promise to be there for you when decisions need to be made
Even though it will **** me to watch you leave
I promise I will be there to say goodbye
When you leave
I promise to be there to say hello again
When you return home to me
I promise to love you forever and eternally
No matter what happens or where life takes us
I promise to be loyal to you while you are deployed
Because I know that you will be loyal to me
I promise that no matter where life takes me
It will never take me away from you
I promise to be here forever and always
Trustworthy and in love
Forever and always
I promise.

Your words in whispers excite my heart
Fill my mind with passion unexplored
Your soft lips ****** as they linger where pressed
My body now longing, begging for more
The touch of your hands as they wander
Sends chills racing deep within
The heat of your body close so close to mine
Is sweet pleasure indulging my skin
Desires overwhelm me, yet I cant get enough
I crave everything that is you
I get lost in your eyes, and am swept away
By each sultry, hypnotizing move.

I'm tired of feeling all this pain, I feel so num
I wan't to go back to when I was young
To the time where nothing matter
No worrying, No jealousy, No guys
Just friends
I wan't to go back to the time where depression didn't exit
instead of cutting wrists
we cut paper snowflakes
The time where boys had cooties not hormones
The time where all I wanted was to be a princess
The time where I cried over broken crayons not over boys
The time where *** didn't matter
It's so different now
instead of looking like a princess, you have to look like barbie
And guys expectation are just so high
And even if they say we are perfect
we aren't
because it's the same thing ever day
they still look at the naked chicks on the front of those playboys  
It's so painful
Now I wait to get hurt
I'm just expecting it
It's an every day thing
Worrying that another girl will take my place
You say that they are just friends
But you use to like them at one point so it's not that simple
I'm a girl my mind over thinks
I've been hurt so many times by you and other guys
I just don't trust anymore
You've lied to me
once you lie you lose all my trust
now I'm laying here while my mascara runs.

I'M SORRY

I'm sorry..
If I'm not skinny enough for you to see my ribs.
I'm sorry..
If I'm not pretty enough to be "Your Girl."
I'm sorry..
If I'm not tan enough for you.
I'm sorry..
I'm not a ******* model so I don't act like a **** star for you.
I'm sorry..
If i don't have a dream body that turns you on.
I'm sorry..
I won't drop down to my knees to get you to like me
I'm sorry...
If my ***** aren't big enough
I'm sorry..
If my hair is not long enough.
I'm sorry..
If I'm not the "Hottest" girl you have ever seen.
I'm sorry you have to look at half naked girls because I'm not good enough
But most of all...
I'm sorry that most guys can't accept a girl for who they really are.
They always say be yourself, but when we are ourselves we aren't good enough...
How hard is it to be loyal to one girl...

The love we share is so incredible
It is unlike anything else
The love we share is special
It is so unique in so many ways
Staring into each others eyes so peacefully
We can read each other like a book
Our soft tender bodies touching
No words come out of our mouths
Our eyes tell it all
Our lips touching gently
It is so incredible and beautiful
The way we love
Nothing can compare to it
When we are together we block out the world
No one matters beside you and I
Two people but one heart that will last a lifetime

M.W.W <3

She's over this place
She's over these trees
She's over being in this small town
She's over you
And most of all she's over everyone
She wants to start new
She wants new friends
A new life
New town
She wants to just be with the one she loves
She wants to forget about the past thats all
Is that so hard?
I guess so
She wants a new life
Everything here reminds her of the past
Maine
So much has happened here
Tears,heartbreaks,deaths and so on
She just wan't to get out of this hell hole she calls home.