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how many times do we have to do something
before it becomes familiar
to us?

familiar is a word
quite similar in tone to family

yet it can apply to getting stung by a bee
tasting the inside of another
person
making tea, baking a cake
in your underwear
breaking an eggshell like a bone.

it takes maybe two, maybe three times
until anything feels like home
but is it really home?
i will have lived for two decades

and have
only climbed to the top of a tree once.
I can organize my cuts and burns
by alphabetical order, day of the week, last year this year.
I can recite the reasons why I love them more than
any man, any shirttail brushing inside
my inner thigh:

they never leave. My blades never miss,
I never have to miss my blades when they leave.

I heard the story of a man who was murdered, his wife abused
and still he did not leave
he stayed like a scar
because he rose again the moment someone else
touched her skin, blew up as if full with gasoline.
I watched him fly above the city,
dropping death on those who already had their hands on it
wrung it out of beautiful men and women.

I want to do that so badly,
**** myself cell by cell, scrape the skin off
flake by flake. I want to
be dead but not know it yet. Sail in the air as ashes.
I have known, and I have cared for, those who think
rebuilding a person is love
which is quite nice
in theory
but then, I became destroyed. I was a project,
a house of cards that had fallen
and frustratingly needed put back together, elevated
the way the moon gets lifted from grass
or a friendship necklace
lurches from my lover’s body. His collarbone peak
separating the relationship from the heart.
When someone told me
love can be piecing each other back together,
I just thought of how it could be
crumbling together, too —
mixed up, mixed blood, if he were to die, my
necklace would disintegrate with his
tongue. We would cremate sterling silver
and even then, he would not be destroyed. We are not
scientists, we are two people who kiss
together like how two
wooden-sticks’ll use the same drum to create music.
There may be splinters, may peel but
can still make sound. No one
takes a drumstick to the repair shop, they just
buy a new one —
I want that to be love. Stop trying to
fix me and touch my everything, all my broken parts.
 Aug 2013 Michael Valentine
JL
The eyes should be plucked from their orbits
Submerged in formalin
Stored in a museum for all to gaze upon and know
My love is pure-tried by fire-

The fingers cut off at the second knuckle
The skin and meat picked from them leave
Pale Pale Pale white bone beneath
...Untouched by any other man
Scrape Scrape says the knife carving
Runes and poetry into the finger bones
So that all may know
My love was pure-tried by fire

The ****** knife danced
As in the sleep visions I cried out silently
Gray and muted were the eyes and
The voice was...lost from those lips

I remove the death mask to lick the cold lips of her corpse
Purple Petals that wither in the winter air
The warm cloud of my breath
Filling her nostrils
God breathing breath into Adam's first-rib
A lock of hair I disrupt
Falling from the high place
In Hurried Lust

I wonder at the stopped machinery that lies beneath
Do I dare slip the scalpel once more from its placement
And bring it to bare at the left breast?
It is the doing of another-I am no longer here
Searching for what is lost in the garden of her entrails

Wilting Bloom
I search the throat with my fingers
Reconstructing the final moments
Once more I run my fingers against thread
Delicatley I have sewn closed the gaping slash wound
To the throat warm spray a muted gurgle
Air slipping from the vocal chords disjointed dirge she sings to me
Forgetting quickly my stone ears deaf to such frivolities as mercy
The knife found it's own way through the breastbone

She and I are ancient beings
Our bodies sarcophagus for the true form
Released at last First Breath
Picking pieces of it from my teeth
Nail marks line my fore arms
Wounds tasting of the final throes

For she in peace dances at the feet of Him
Her wings cover her eyes
Her wings cover her feet
Holy seraphim returing  crest raised high
Among the host
The great cycle completed
Tried by fire she is found whole once again

And I await with joy
The eternal punishment
From time to time I need a little help at work, casual labour. Someone said Bugg was a hard worker, you'll find him in the Crown. Sure enough he was there, yes he'd be pleased to help, starting the next day. Bugg used to live in a house, but bought a painted gypsy wagon, horse and all to live an itinerant life. He kept moving on, from one village common to another. I collected him at first, and sure enough he worked well. He said he once met Rod Stuart in a bar and I had no reason to disbelieve him, still don't.
  He started using a motorbike to get to work. His time-keeping was, well, non-existent. He came out with excuses like there was a police car cruising nearby, so he had to stay put as his bike was not taxed or insured. So we had a little conversation about that, and I thought I had convinced him it would be worthwhile getting it legal. He concluded the discussion by saying that well, the police don't stop bikes much anyway.
  One day he showed up at about eleven. Later on I casually asked if there had been a reason for his late arrival. His disarming reply was a simple 'no, not really'.  A nice enough fella, but I was beginning to get the measure of him.
  Instead of being paid at the end of the week, Bugg wanted his money daily. I realised he was spending each day's money in the pub every night. I was still glad of the help though.
  When the work ran out he moved his wagon a few miles to another common, where he had work helping with a barn conversion. Ideal for him, a village with a common, work and a pub.
  One very early morning someone on their way to work saw his wagon engulfed in flames. He was in it, burnt to a crisp. When I heard about it I was shocked, but I can't say I was surprised.
  Poor old Bugg, hopeless old Bugg, rest in peace mate.
A kiss on the neck, a nibble on the lobe, a midday *** text, by a promise of deep console.

The wholeness of my *******, where your fingertips rest
Your lips.
A quick dip into the abyss-
Lingerie,
slips
slowly
risqué
...strip.
Flip positions.
Your wrists,
I want them bound.
Restriction.
Submission.
I want you motionless as I kiss my expedition down...

Your deep abyss, I can give you my answer, in depth,  solely for your bliss, but let's go back to square one, your happiness starts with my tongue, subtle licks followed by the patter of my lips, no longer free are my ankles, as I submit to you my wrists, knowing all along what turns you on is the throbbing nature that has over taken my pen,-is it you its yearning for?

Two inches more
and I shall welcome you inside the entrance of my esophageal door
how impolite would I be without offering a tour?
Let us slip down the walls until we reach the pits of the floor of my
stomach
-you've been here before-
I want to flood the shores of your beaches before the swimmers reach their destiny
You get the best of me.
Long strokes
You invest in me.
If I unbind you, will you stay next to me?
Digesting
The waves of lost control pulsating across your face...
you need me
I free you from your ties.
My thighs slide apart wider and wider...
I wade in the tides of your eyes...

Your thighs wider, as my lips come near, instead of my hips your grips around my ears, as I whisper sweet nothings to lips with no ears, but wait as I pause to give you no break, I slip ******* to let my tongue escape beyond boundaries unknown.
Moan,
scratch, bite then slap. Now hush, as flip you over, to pull your hair exhilarating your sensations to come over and over. Now both dripping wet, will you invite me in, it's only chocolate, an aphrodisiac, or a nemphos best friend.

Welcome,
Come inside.
It's slippery,
Slip and slide when you dip in me
Every time I'm still surprised at just how fulfilling you are.
The ride is thrilling
Abiding the hills of my ******* to will their weight
Up
And
Down
-The sound of your shallow breath-
There is
A depth
At which which you'll drown
Submerging great lengths beneath the surface of my sea
Enchanting
Entrancing
You instill great strength
When you're lying beneath me

Flying
Effortlessly

It feels like freedom.


To be inside you, and underneath, in control of your heart to my beat. Hands occupied, full grasped, stroking every inch of your fantass-tick tock, unwind your inner time clock with my ****, as I roll my hips, tightening is your handless grip, wet, don't slip, climatic joy as my tip finds your ****.

Release.
Your **** is the beast
That feasts
On my deceased beauty.
Really and Truly
I can not fully grip the grasp of the thought of my fantastic tick tock
Blown off the clock
-rock solid ****-
You won.
No man before has coerced me to come-
You have me at a loss to think
Sentences spilling in hologram ink
I blink.

It's such a quick motion, blink, rewet, now you have my full devotion, to divulge into your mind of the nature of what's been created by my subtle ****** notions, or a blunt hint, which allows me to explore more with deeper extent, long melodic notes, of your deep breaths that hum along my throat,
as I stroke,
take note,
I've physically exhausted you mentally by sensually exciting your frontal lobe.
highly sensual exotic ****** collaboration poem with the brilliantly talented Mr. Jason Brooks.
*side note* -we have never been intimate, never held any type of relations. It is the pure imagination of the mind that allows dreams and fantasies to come alive.
Enjoy :)
he won't **** me when I'm sad
but god does,
god does so well I get down and never
come back up for air.

some kind of *****,
being passed around with invisible hands
making invisible marks on her back.

the least I want is the autograph
of every night I do not
sleep,
have my lover rest for me

on me.
anything, anything, I fear he wants me
to stay empty.  

I want to say,
if you don't want me to be so sad
want the heartache to
go away

get the **** inside of me, cause
an earthquake, create a better ache —

all god does is cup
his hands around my neck and expect me
to still be able to breathe.
The last time
all 206 bones of yours were
against me, I memorized your pupils

(the size of a dot on an
i, coffee and cream
doughnut holes
letters I write you at breakfast)

so I would not forget
the next time
you had to leave my side. I just did

not think the memory
would have to last my whole life.
I am as big as my parents
were when my elder sister was born, I am also
the age my elder brother was
when I was born.

He had a black notebook and black eyes
before he was blind, yet
he already wrote about what he could not see.

I, the little sister
the uninvited birth
the blood our father slipped
between some
  younger woman's legs — my
mother, not ours.

And my elder sister
thought most about rescuing pills small as
taste buds and opaque rocks
that color-change your mind, the happy
          opals.

She told me liquid cough syrup was bad
yet she taught me to pour
water on my father's recliner, so he may think
my mom had an accident again
maybe she will stop drinking
maybe she will stop drinking
well, maybe, sister
you could stop rescuing pills
and rescue me instead.

I felt like a murderer at age nine
starting big fights about stained seats and
fake **** — my dad
had my mom against the washing machine
but any time she gave him a ****** nose, he'd
have to wash his own **** shirt.

By then,
my brother could not see at all.

One day, he stepped into his black room, locked
the door shut, tied his beard to it
and I lost all sight of him —
my belly could have split open for
seven babies
from the last time he remembered
my name.

I send my siblings birthday cards
they cannot read,
              just to keep track of my age.
HP really messes with the layout of this one, hope you like it anyhow.
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