Of course I miss you.
I really, really do.
Our infatuation is what I miss most.
Beautiful memories,
Trampled by resentment and oncoming hatred.
Our "love" that once existed,
Now ceases to exist.
Broken darkness has consumed you.
Trembling, holding on to the last fragments of your old self.
Not even the fragments, or mere shards, remain.
Numb, now,
Unknowing of this unfamiliar you.
Pushed, and driven off the edge;
You made me stop caring.
I didn't want to, but I have to.
"How am I supposed to care about you if I can't even care about myself?"

I thought it would make me happy...
But it didn't.
It doesn't.
Like all fires, it went out.
Passion that was once there
Even ceases to exist.
I'm sorry for us both.

I can't make you love me.
I never could, never will, never can.
We were different.
Not like the rest.
We were special.
And we were special because we are broken.
The special bond that brought us together,
our brokenness and longing;
that is our undoing.
It is for something each other aren't and will never be.
Both of us holding on to two things that are dead.
Not only you and I,
But Him and Her as well.

I know you may think it,
but this is not a love story.
I have loved you for the longest time.
I'm sure you just thought I stopped after we were done,
after we went our separate ways, but in fact,
I've missed you more than ever.
I've spent two years loving you, missing you, wanting you, needing you;
and you no longer share those feelings.
But I hope you think of me every now and again,
until then I'll try my best to wait for you to be my "happily ever after",
so I can love you, and you'll love me again,
like you did before.
You will complete my heart.
It's always been you.

Have you ever loved someone so much it hurts?
So much that the cavity inside your chest aches and burns?
That the voices inside your head tear and scream
Until that one person is back inside your arms?
I have.
It's been two years,
My chest still aches and burns,
My head still tears and screams.
Memories flooding
Of that spring we spent under the stars.
"So I guess this is goodbye."

My heart dropped and then it fell.
"Don't worry, you're mine now"
Was all it took.
Five simple words,
Thrown together only to make you my first.
I still remember the spring we spent under the stars.
Long conversations and even longer nights,
Never imagining my life with out you in it.
The stars that brought us together are still here,
But two years later we are nowhere near.
What did I do to make you despise me?
"My life doesn't need you"
Five simple words,
That I wish I said first.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have tried to kiss you a little longer that night.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have held your face as I kissed you that night.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have rubbed the back of your neck a little bit longer that night.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have held your hand in the taxi home that night.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have intertwined my fingers through your hair one last time,
We both liked that.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have wrapped my arms around your neck,
With an embrace making our bodies become one.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have looked deep into your eyes again,
Just to catch them looking back at me,
Maybe for just a little bit longer.

If I'd have known goodnight would have meant goodbye,
I would have never let the night end.