each day i watch the sun rise
and i think of that very morning
the one you’ve long forgotten
the one i wouldn’t dare
you told me to look at the sky,
the sunrise
look
a beautiful sight, no doubt
but i can’t remember the image,
only you.
i’m sure you took a photo
its saved somewhere on your phone
you look back on it and think,
“how beautiful,”
but haven’t thought twice about
me
or that morning

it was the moment that
the tip of your nose turned pink
and your two cheeks went bright red
when a cloud of warmth poured
from sweet, dry lips.
when a closed-mouth smile peeked
the corners of your eyes wrinkled
cold hands covered my colder ears
and i knew.
it was the moment that
out of their mouth, her name rang
and your hand in mine went stiff
but blue eyes went ever soft.
when distressing words were said
while the opposite was meant
your grip on me grew harsh
and i knew.

you said you like my hair better curly
is that because that’s how she wore hers?
you always seem to pull me in closer
but why hold me tightly
when your entire body is numb?
you choke on the sweet nothings you say
and i wonder
why tell me the words
that you’d rather be telling another?
all that you don’t feel
i feel
all that lonesome i feel
i ruin by saying aloud
so i (often) wonder
why even open my **** mouth?